Llama-<p>I think what it comes down to is that we truly love our WS's, not simply an infatuation or some kind of physical turn-on, but the real kind of love. The kind that can endure and last forever. If we didn't, we wouldn't be here looking for help and support, we'd be long gone. The going back and forth is just the roller coaster of emotions we are on, I think it just shows that we are normal and are trying to deal with one of the most gut-wrenching experiences anyone can have in a normal way. <p>To me, even dealing with the death of a loved one is easier because once it happens, its over and you can begin the grieving process and move on. But with an A, you cant, your in a sort of limbo, waiting for the WS to make a decision. In the meantime, the WS constantly barrages us with disrespect, lies and deceptions, making the whole thing that much worse.<p>What can you do about your 'crazy cycle of thinking'? Realize that it is normal and learn how to understand it. If it gets out of hand, say in an obsessive way, or your become unable to function normally, then you go to the doctor and look into AD's or something. Read everything you can about A's and how to recover from them, there is a wealth of great information out there. Counseling and a strong support base of non-judgmental friends and family will help tremendously. Set boundaries (not controlling) to keep you from getting hurt even more and stick with them. Work on yourself, yes, become selfish in a way, make this time all about you. Plan A, Plan A and more Plan A until you cant do it anymore.<p>Try and not let WS and their selfish behavior get the better of you. You didn't do anything to deserve this kind of treatment and should have to accept it. Let WS go, open the cage door and let them fly free. Eventually they will realize what they have given up, we just need to be patient.
