I know this is off topic. She just went to hospital, probably will pull through. H in another state, 3 am there cant call till am. I wont be able to join him like I thought. Have to take care of her kids, one is terminally ill. Have to deal with Her ExH who is an addict, unstable, emotionally and mentally abusive to her and kids. He has secondary custody, I might have to get a guardianship of kids. this is her 8th time of this sort of thing in less than 2 years. This is what was happening when H had his EA out of state where he is now. This is why I havent been able to even think about meeting his needs. H is a good man just chose the wrong way to cope. Right now my marriage is not my biggest concern, I cant take much more, have to get some legal advice in am and talk to a counselor about the ExH and how to deal with what I know he wiil do and it wont be pretty. This is the kind of stuff that ruins lives esp marriages.Her 9 year old just about had a nervous breakdown, and I am right now. My daughter drank a fifth of alcohol and took 40 pills and fought cops , it is the worst case of full blown maybe terminal alcohol, drugs, pills, anorexia, bulimia, depression, anxiety disorder, and God only knows what else I have ever seen and I am a nurse, never saw anything this bad. I really need 12 step people right now. And I need my H. They just petitioned her (court order to be thrown into the county hospital and kept there indefinitely.) This girl had 3 college scholarships but was too sick too use. Beautiful talented wonderful child, and my son is just as wonderful and has classic bipolar and alcohol and drug problems. There is a major genetic component at work here. Please pray for us, dont know how much I can be on MB anymore. Thanks for all the wonderful help you have given me.She is in 4 point restraints as we speak, stomach pumped, left me a vicious suicide note thanking me for ruining her life. Cops had to kick her bedroom door in and mace her she was like an animal. I am so sorry to talk about this on here,I have no one else to talk to. <p>With Love, Replaced<p>Replaced<p>[ May 22, 2002: Message edited by: Replaced ]<p>[ May 22, 2002: Message edited by: Replaced ]</p>

Replaced<p>Although I am not totally familar with your details, I have read many of your posts. Just wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you. I am so sorry for you troubles. You are in my prayers.<p>Regretting

My heart goes out to you. In my darkest hours, prayer has always helped. I will pray for your family. My son (17) just was diagnosed as bipolar and my daughter (22) suffers from panic disorder as do my brother and mother. So I understand your assessment that there is a genetic factor. I'm sure there are others who monitor the entries at MB that also believe strongly in intercessory prayer (praying for someone else) that will be praying for you too.

Thankyou Regretting,<p>I am just numb and the idea of calling and telling H is overwhelming. Our poor daughter and her poor kids esp the one that experienced this for the 8th time. The other one is too sick to even be aware. I am really scared. I hope some 12 step people see this and come in here.<p>Replaced

bmarrowt,<p>For the first time in my life I feel that God is the only real comfort. Thank you for your prayers. I just know that for some reason this load is placed on me right now and the reason does not matter, it is just a reality. Also I know that many other people have carried much heavier loads. The genetic factor is undeniable. I hope that your family gets what they need to make their life good. I'll say a prayer for you and yours.<p>Replaced

To all, <p>I may not be able to answer very many posts. Please allow me to thank all of you ahead of time in case I dont get back here very much.<p>Thanks, Replaced

Replaced, I am so sorry about your daughter. I will say a prayer for you and your family.

Thinking of you too. Going to bed and praying right now. Take care of yourself, you will pull through this, just hang on tight, it will pass. Hold on to God.<p>Dancer

Dear Replaced,
My heart goes out to you and just want to let you know that I will be praying for you and all your family. I do have experience of this in my own family, too - my brother died last year - coming up to the first anniversary of his death in a few days - he was schizophrenic and unremittingly paranoid from the age of 19 - died at age 42 - although liver failure was not due to alcoholism, but we think caused by the cocktail of psych meds he had been taking for 23 years. Also lost my sister-in-law November 2001 to suicide - she suffered 12 yrs bipolar disorder. Also lost my 19 yr old cousin to suicide in 1973 - bipolar and schizophrenic - his mother bipolar. We think there is strong genetic tendency in the family - on my Dad's mother's side - my great-aunt had four children, all suffer from one condition or the other. Dad's second wife has 3 siblings also, all bipolar or schizophrenic. It isn't always bad times - but when it's bad - it's REALLY bad, and it's hard sometimes for others without this experience to understand.<p>All I can say is - I'm PRAYING for you - sometimes I stood in church SO mad at God for letting these things happen to the ones I loved - all I could say was "my feet are standing here - that's the ONLY expression of faith I can give You now" - but someone told me it was OK for me to take my anger to God, too - He could take it! I do believe that prayer makes a difference, but I haven't found any answers to the big question.<p>My H also cut out on me - I found evidence of his first EA 2 days after I came back from my brother's funeral. And he moved on and into his second EA after my sister-in-law's suicide, his brother's wife, whom he had known since he was 14. Go figure. Some way of coping if you ask me. That's what sent me onto these boards, where I have had a lot of steady support. Things are improving for us, but slowly.<p>I'm not copasetic with the 12-step programs, but one thing that has helped me is to tell myself before I go to sleep each night 5 (or 3) things for which I can be genuinely thankful - it helps keep me from falling into the well of depression. My family need me - that also helps keep me strong - not just my 2 boys (6 and 9), but my mom and dad, and my sister.
We have learned that life is short and unpredictable and we never let a chance go by to say "I love you" - this helps us through the bad times.<p>God bless you,
Odile

Many hugs, thoughts and prayers coming your way....<p>Please check in with us when you get a chance.

MelodyLane,dancer,faith,<p>Prayers mean everything to me right now, there cannot be enough thankyous.<p>Odile & bmarrowt, <p>I knew there would be someone who had clusters of these ilnesses in their families. I also have a cousin who has her house packed solid with junk, possible Aspergers and schizotypal personality and H's brother recently died of cancer(born with sturge-weber. The grandson is terminal with an inherited neurodegenerative disease. Family illness dramatically increases the divorce rate esp if its your kids.<p>I have to think God knows what he is doing and I dont need to understand it. <p>I saw a guy on TV who said his father taught him this---"take the good with the bad, the glad with the sad, and the happy with the crappy". That may sound a little too light hearted and even silly but that IS what we have to do or else go crazy.<p>Got to go take care of some things.
I know my daughter is in good hands, cant think about it right now, scared to death of the exSIL.<p>Replaced

Replaced I am so sorry.<p>Sending up prayers.

<small>[ February 06, 2005, 10:09 PM: Message edited by: hanora ]</small>

I'm so sorry Replaced that you're going through this and that your daughter and grandchildren are suffering so much. Hanging on to God is the very best thing to do, so you're doing everything right. Satan must be very afraid of your and your family's potential to be so busy tormenting you. Just keep standing firm in the faith. Someone once told me that we don't have to do anything but keep standing in order to defeat Satan. Keeping you in prayer.

Replaced----prayers from here for you all. God does not cause these things but they are a product of our defects.....we are all defective to some degree, some of us worse than others. Recently, my brother had to be admitted to the hospital with hallucinations and DTs from alcohol abuse. That was for me the scariest thing I ever saw. He acted and looked like a zombie after they sedated him in rehab so that he would not have seizures. He could not even take care of himself, he was so sedated and shaking. My only sense of serenity came when I kept reminding myself that my brother had a Higher Power too and I needed to give him to his Higher Power. I guess that is Letting go and letting God. It worked for me cause I know I would have spent many sleepless nights worrying about him when I could not do anything to help him at that point.
He is still abusing alcohol and trying to connect with the right kind of help even though he went through the worst nightmare of his life. I continually pray the first 3 steps for him. That God would help him Admit he is powerless, that he would come to believe in a Power Greater than himself and that he would turn his will and life over to God's care. He is trying for the first time in his life.<p>God Bless and keep you serene.....Isaiah 26:3 says(God)will keep in perfect peace whose mind is steadfast BECAUSE HE TRUSTS IN HIM.<p>TW

I am so sorry for this heartbreaking turn of events. I have said a prayer for your family.
{{{Replaced}}}<p>Estes

Prayers, and thoughts go out for you Replaced at this very tough time for your family. Take care of those grandkids, they are so precious. <p>Don't know any of the twelve step programs either. Sorry!!!<p>As I say my prayers for you , I will include one of thanksgiving for the Lord giving me the healthy family that he has!!!<p>
Stay strong and repeat the Lords prayer over and over for strength. It helps me greatly!!!<p>Dawn [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]