I LBed again tonight. WH said thanks for the present I got him and I sharply said it wasnt from me it was from our son. How rudes that? And yes, it was said because I was in a furious frenzy. And it was eough to get him started to which I promptly closed the door and turned off the light.

Its Soooooooooooooooo hard to control anger sometimes and I really suck at it. I need to get me some self-control from the fruit market.

A friend reminded me of wat Dr Phil said about 'what ifs'. If the worst is happening, can I and how will I handle it? Does it change my conviction to stand firm in battle, or will I let myself be ruled by emotions?

I sent H an email saying I was sorry. I was also reminded tonight that even if you ask for forgiveness, dont expect to always be forgiven, just make sure you get it right with God, cause he always forgives. Dont expect the other person to take on responsibility to forgive you for you to be released.

By the way, is it true if your mobile phone runs out of battery that if you leave it for 10mins or so that it will recharge itself?

Dancer

<small>[ July 05, 2002, 06:10 PM: Message edited by: Dancer ]</small>

Dancer [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>I've wished for a roll of duct tape to put over my mouth many times. [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] <p>You did the right thing by realizing and apologizing. <p>As far as the phone goes... SEEMS like I've heard there are batteries that do that, but most of them don't. I have found that if I let it sit for a few minutes, I can a little bit of juice next time I turn it on, but not much.

Thanx Faith.

Im learning that when i do stuff like this its in selfdefence so i dont get hurt, you know, hurt them b4 they have a chance to hurt you. I was sure if i asked him if he wanted me around for his birthday that he would say no, or say yes but not really mean it. But I now see that it would be less painful, for both of us if i had of risked it.

I just want to stop sabotaging the future - is this a cycle or wat? Its like Im deliberately pushing him away. Im so inconsistant, i ride with my emotions big time. Im sick of it.

Dancer <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

<small>[ July 05, 2002, 06:11 PM: Message edited by: Dancer ]</small>