Okay, I haven't been here for a few days. Here's a VERY shortened version of my story. OW is H's step-cousin, whom I considered my best friend. A lasted 3 yrs., H told me about it on April 19. I've been plan A-ing. H and I spoke with OW together 1 wk. after d-day. She told me when she and I were alone that she'd break contact with H even if he didn't want to. That it was over. Seemed very sorry, etc., etc., blah, blah, blah.<p>Since then, I know that they've spoken on phone 3 times, cuz H told me. He's trying very hard, but finding that he misses her, which is hard for me, but I want him to be honest. She doesn't know that I know that they've spoken.<p>So she sent me this email 2 days ago, just a friendly note like I might have expected from her before d-day. Told me she's praying for us, thinking of us, loves us, etc.<p> How do I respond? Do I respond?<p> I kinda want to tell her that if she wants to know how everything is going, she can ask my H the next time she talks to him. Just so that she'll know I know. Good idea, or just ignore her?

dani1990,<p>I wouldn't ever speak to her. She is not true friend/cousin to you or your H. NO friend would ever do anything to hurt you or your H. She did the most disguisting thing in the world to you and your M. Your H might not think so right now but she did him more harm then good. WS don't realize that, at least my H hasn't yet.<p>Stay strong, continue Plan A. At least H is trying to be honest with you. That is a good sign. Read SAA & HNHN, you will be able to get the over all picture of what you are going to have to deal with. SO BE PREPARED.......<p>Lost

do you want to right answer or what I would do -<p>The right way to handle this is to be nice and tell her that everything is going well but that you are not ready to talk or resume your friendship with her at this point and will contact her if and when you are ready <p>what I would do -
Call the little Bit** and tell her what you know and that she need to stay the Fu** out of your business!<p>sorry - I guess I'm feeling a little evil today. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]

hehehe...Thanks for making me smile :-) I guess that's what I'm having trouble deciding...do I do what I know is right, or what would make me feel better?

What will make you feel better is simply sending her an email requesting that she respect the no-contact rules of your marriage.<p>Then ignore her emails. Period.<p>Change your phone number and never ever contact her again, and do not allow her to contact yourself or your husband.<p>Any kind of confrontation will blow up in your face and make you feel worse. Really.

I agree with BrambleRose,<p>What feels good right now… giving her a piece of your mind, will only make you feel like a dope later. And if you H sees the email, it will not look good to him either.<p>I would not ignore it at this time. Instead send a simple emailing reiterating no-contact. I would also tell her, with as nicely as you can that she has crossed the line and you do not, nor will you ever again, consider her as a friend again.<p>This will make it clear to her where you stand and what you expect from her. <p>Then if you get any further emails from her, either resend exactly the same letter again or just ignore it. Better yet, block her email addy in your account.<p>You will feel better about yourself if you handle this with some class.