Hi, I came here in hopes of support and guidence. I would like to thank you all for a place that gives the oppurtunity to get support. I can not speak to my family or friends about this because I feel it is a very private matter and the only person who I can and should talk to ie, H will not listen. I love my H very much I want my marriage to work and that is why I am here. in a nut shell my H and I live in separet rooms. I am unable to make love to him any more. I can not because of the lying, abuse and his infidelity. I can not get over this because it continues over and over. I have tried to talk to him. I have tried to change my short commings I have prayed many times to God. The abuse continues the disrespect continues and so does the infidelity. I am at the point now that I feel that if I make love to my H or it only makes my H think everything is ok and all problems are solved. they are only put on the back burner by H to end up hurting me over and over. My H blames me for his infidelity. because this has happen so many times I am withdrawn. Which gives him the excuse to continue. It is a cycle and though I feel we should address this my H ignors or starts fights when I try to talk to him. I am now afraid to bring it up for fear he will abuse me, I mean abuse in a verble way. But it has been physical at times too. I would like us both to work on our problems but he says he will and then puts it to the side. I am very hurt and feel that as long as I allow it to continue this way it will. I also feel that my H thinks very little of me. That it is not worth his time. But when I take a stand he yells and screams . He has done this many times in front of our children which hurts them. so to not have my house in an uproar I just take it. Please if any one has advice I could use it thanks Alaina

Hi Alaina, <p>Welcome to Marriage Builders. You have a beautiful name. <p>This is definitely a place that understands your situation. Here we learn to utilize the tools in the concepts section above and implement what we can in our lives. <p>Your situation is similar to many. First I would like to direct you to that concepts section located at the top of this page. Read all of it, take the emotional needs questionnaire. If both of you can do this great but if only you can do this then that is fine also. <p>Please come back and post your thoughts on what you have read. Then we will be able to share more of our thoughts and ideas with you. The reason for this is that many of our suggestions reference the material here. <p>You will learn what is acceptable behavior and how to handle what is not. This is not that easy but not impossible either. <p>Take Care,
L.

Alaina, <p>How are you doing?<p>L.