I went to bed, fell asleep nicely, kids don't feel good and we were hearing thunder so we were all cozied up together. About an hour or so later I wake up frantic.<p>Now, I know I'm not crazy. I actually have been told by the shrink to make the next appt for 6 weeks out for a little tune up cause I'm doing great.<p>Things are going well; we have money, stable living conditions, and other than me having those stupid headaches, I would say that I am at a high I haven't been at since things started to go downhill YEARS ago.<p>I'm still taking anti depressants, more for the migraines than depression, but I'm on them.<p>I have set and maintained workable boundries in relation to caring for [censored]. <p>But tonight, and two other times in the past few weeks I have had rip roaring nightmares. Wake up sweaty and heart pounding, sit straight up in bed, complete panic nightmares.<p>They are all about [censored] messing around. Tonights episode: me reading on a board about a woman who knows he is married but just loves to F him (her choice of words), for some reason she posts a picture of me, so I know it is [censored] she is doing.<p>I've been hanging out here a ton lately, [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] so I know where the board part comes in, but I just don't get the whole [censored] cheating part of it.<p>I SWEAR I am not stressing about what happened in the past, at least during the day. He is broken, and I have no power over that. I am divorced, am happy with it too. I made the right decision for my messed up situation.<p>But what the EHLL is this?<p>When I wake up there better be 97 posts telling me all about your nightmares so I don't feel like a freak.<p>Elizabeth

dear elizabeth-i have had some riproaring nightmares. unbelievable! i assume its from my meds or stress. ive even had nightmares about ME cheating.

I don't think I have slept well enough through this to really dream, or at least not remember them. But I have waken up in an absolute panic several times. The times I have I have been 1/2 asleep and reached over to where I used to reach for my H and he not be there and totally wake up in a frenzy. I've generally been trying to avoid sleep in this, I hate to go to bed to an empty bed, so I stay up as long as I possibly can, so that when I do go to bed I fall asleep the second I lay down.<p>I do remember one dream I had last week, actually while taking a nap one afternoon, he was home! It was so real I almost got up and went into the room where the dream was taking place to see if he was there. I still remember it so vividly, and it was so nice to have him home. I believe in dreams, have alot of De'javue instances, so I hope this one turns into reality!<p>Oh yea, an old superstition is that if you tell your dreams before you eat breakfast they will come true, so I hope you can have some nice dreams to talk about one morning!<p>[ May 24, 2002: Message edited by: thebetrayedone ]</p>

Okay, I have nightmares whenever I can sleep well enough, which is rare. But I do know this, vivid dreams/nightmares is a side effect of some anti-depressents. My WW has been on anti-depressents for years because of migranes. For some reason they work on migranes. Well, as soon as she started taking them she started getting these terrible nightmares. Would wake up screaming in bed. She has been on them for a number of years now and they seem to have eased off some, but they are still there.<p>As for myself, I still have trouble sleeping, but I've only been dealing with this about a month. Whenever I do sleep I dream of the A and wake up in a panic.

yep...have the darn things too....<p>funny, they started BEFORE D-DAY. I had a dream my hubby found someone else & left me. I told him about the dream ....he did not say anything then---it makes me wonder now what he was thinking. <p>I guess my subconsious was trying to tell me then that something wasnt right. Being the trusting person I am I did not take stock in it. Now it is pretty wild to think that maybe I knew something wasnt right but just kept setting it aside. The mind is a very interesting thing; the things it can do consciously and subconsiously.<p>You could make stephen king movies out of some of the crazy nightmares I have. Nothing like waking up in a cold sweat; half crying and shaking. It stinks when you can't even get peace long enough to sleep sometimes.<p>There are some pretty cool websites that interprets dreams just a little based on things you dream about...being chased; snakes; etc. different aspects.

Before my wife broke the news to me, I was having a lot of dreams about me with other women. Sometimes the wife would even be in the dream watching it happen! This was probably due to my non-existant sex life. Now that she's told me, I'm having a reoccurring nightmare about going to JAIL!!!! Every time it happens, I go to jail for some stupid misdemeanor like public intoxication, disturbing the peace, etc. Nothing serious. I've never even been arrested in real life! I like analyzing my dreams and I think this one means that I'm scared I might get out of control once my wife moves out and I'm sending myself a self-warning [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

JTW,<p>I dont have them so much anymore, but I did during the A and for many months after. Mostly they were about cheating and him leaving me for her(literally, leaving me in a public place to be with her). They started going away as we got further into recovery.<p>Do you think that by being here and reading so much of this stuff that it has invaded your subconscience(sp?)? I have found that sometimes this place can be a trigger for me and I take a break. You have admitted to spending a lot of time here lately and that could be it. I believe that a lot of what we read and watch affects our dreams. Also, if I eat really late at night, I have bizarre dreams for some reason(that's not scientific of course).
Do you think you are stuffing feelings or thoughts that could be causing these dreams?<p>just some thoughts.....

Yes, lots of nightmares before d-day and after. Before d-day they were REALLY horrible about being taken by my WH to some party in another state and then being left there with a bunch of thugs who were trying to rape a little girl and my beating on them and trying to stop it and being laughed at by these horrible people.<p>The nightmares post d-day are less violent, but all involve either being stuck in a house with my WH and OW and all of her friends and everyone laughing at me. The other recurring dream is about a big wave coming over me and I'm drowning and the OW is standing on the shore not helping me.

I dreamed about the OW & my H right as the PA started. Told my H, he told me I was crazy.<p>I dream very vividly. Fixing my run-over cat with toothpicks in her joints. Becoming an alien that can turn into a puddle. Lots of carnival, parade, festival dreams. Vacations--boats, skiing, tobaganning.<p>Last night I had a dream where I took the face of a female stranger between my hands and screamed into her face, "YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ME. YOU DON'T LISTEN. YOU DON'T LIKE ME." Well, that isn't very likable behavior to a stranger [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] .<p>H shook me out of that one and tucked me close. "You're all right. I like you."<p>I think I'm due for a dream vacation [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] .

yupp, me too.........right after D-D I couldn't sleep at all. But when I did start to sleep again I had the wildest nightmares.
In my dreams I would see places where they were meeting each other.
One dream that I had I saw them somewhere by a river. Lots of trees and very hidden.
I told my H that I knew they had met at this special place and he was shocked to *ell. This scared the *hit out of me.
When we were in advances recovery, my H showed me the places where they had met and this specail place by the river was quit simular to my dream. (very strange as I don't believe in these kinda things....) Many other dreams ended with me waking up crying and sweating.<p>This has all stopped, I don't remember my dreams anymore and I sleep like a log.
BB

I used to have some incredible nightmares. They were worst when I had just started on antidepressants. I'd flail in bed all night long, fighting to save the universe, and when the alarm went off I'd be exhausted. Those went away when I switched meds.<p>They started up again the night I separated. I don't know for sure how long it was before the bad dreams ended, but I do remember exactly when I stopped dreaming about my x. Not that it matters much now.<p>I had a point, I'm sure... oh yes. I'll beat around one more bush, then I'll get there. Last month my nephew got hit by a train. The train was going 70 mph, nephew was crossing the tracks, the train smacked his truck just behind the driver's side door. This nephew was unconscious for about 2 weeks, in intensive care for about 3 weeks, and is now out of the hospital. The fact that he survived is amazing. That he is now out of the hospital walking around is miraculous. His truck looks like a wad of tin foil. <p>Now, he's dealing with the psychological trauma. The stress of the accident and all the junk of recovery is wreaking havoc with his mind. He gets very emotional at times. His mind is just now getting to the point where he is facing some scary things. So here's the point I threatened to make: Sometimes the reaction happens after the stressful event has been dealt with and we physically start to relax.<p>Elizabeth, you've gone through a mess. Things are now looking up. You're getting more and more stable in general, but my guess is that you're just a little teeny-tiny bit afraid to raise your head up too high for fear of what might be coming along next. <p>Or, it's something totally unrelated to all that, and I'm just another armchair psychologist. Your mileage may vary. Good luck!<p>[ May 24, 2002: Message edited by: o2bsane ]</p>

Ditto on the bad dreams. OW has the same name as a departmen store. For some reason, one night I was shopping in that store. <p>To make matters worse, it seems like ever clerk at that same name too. Can't seem to escape the name.

Isn't it funny how we can come to hate a particular name. We probably would have a tough time being friends with anyone that has the same name as OP.

I know that everytime I hear that name I just cringe. We can be at a restaurant and they announce that name for a table, it's like a hit in the stomach. <p>We had a salesperson come to the door with that name and I thought my H was going to slam the door right in her face. But, we had made the appointment. I know I will never shop in that store. <p>It's pretty wild what the triggers could be, you never know until you are in the middle of one.

Thanks kids!<p>And wow, a bunch of y'all I don't even know. Nice to meetcha!<p>I ended up sleeping from about 6am to just a while ago. No nasties.<p>Here are my ah-ha's, <p>I just changed recently from prozac to zoloft because they wanted to experement on my brain about the headaches. That might be a part of this.<p>Having the new cable connected computer set to MB as the home page might be leaking into my head. A hobby might be appropriate. Thanks Cleo.<p>Lor - I am getting a real vacation tomorow morning. We are going to CA, and hopefully I will get some restful sleep. If it works for me I'll help you plan your dream vacation.<p>o2bsane -
I think your theory makes a ton of sense. I have been on auto pilot and running on fumes for so long, now that things are finally under control it is only natural that my body would try and handle the rest of the "stuff" that lingers. They told me all about that stuff after [censored] accident. When his nightmares started.<p>It is really funny that even though we know things it is hard to see them in ourselves.<p>I think I'm gonna see if it is ok for me to stop the zoloft. Then I'm going to get a MB timer.<p>Thanks again kids. It really helps to know that I am not crazy.<p>As for the names as triggers - ACK. [censored] had a habit of picking up women that ended their names with I. Jami, Cathi, Suzi. I could go on. I think that has more to do with the stripper connection than anything else - BUT that my friends is a subject for another day.<p>E

Yes, I do, and no, you don't want to know about them.

It sucks huh? Thanks for letting me feel even less crazy SS. <p>E