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Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 19
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 19 |
Okay, I thought I figured this whole EA business out, but then I hear that it's when a spouse is discussing personal marriage/relationship type issues with the other person. True? Okay, what if (and I know I can be wrong here, but just humor me on this one) my H is just talking whatever: work issues, work friends, funny stuff, stuff about our children, stuff about her children -- nothing about the dire straits of our relationship. But what if he is talking to her and/or emailing her constantly? Plus he works with her. What does that mean? Can't that constitue an EA too?
Please help. We've been a mess for quite some time now and he's supposedly leaving end of next month. Just for my sanity want to know this info.
Thanks in advance.
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Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 19
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 19 |
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 949
Member
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Member
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 949 |
The bottom line: IF you (the spouse) have a problem with ANY "friendship" your H has with a person of the opposite sex THEN it IS a problem.<p>IF your H is unwilling to end ANY "friendship" in order to place you at a higher regard, in order to provide safety and stability in your marriage THEN it IS an inappropriate relationship
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 949
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Member
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 949 |
ask him if he would be willing to cc: you and have her cc: you on all email correspondence between them in order to help you feel secure in your marriage. If he has nothing to hide AND he loves you AND wants your marriage to work, then he should be willing to do this.
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Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 254
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Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 254 |
It's an EA if he is in regular contact with her, no matter what the content of the emails, calls, etc. is about.
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Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 19
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 19 |
That's what I thought. Just looking for some glimmer of hope here.
I cannot ask him to cc me on emails to her or from her -- he doesn't even want to be married to me anymore so he'll never do that.
Thanks for your support.
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 949
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 949 |
I'm sorry for your pain. Have you read "Love must be tough" by James Dobson? Are you in Plan A?
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
An emotional affair is a romantic, emotional relationship that is devoid of sex but has sexual overtones, flirtations, etc. I have friendships with several men that include talk about my family, job, marriage, etc, but they are in NO WAY EA's because there are no romantic aspects to them. They are simply friendships.<p>However, if he is emailing her and talking to her OUTSIDE of work, that could flag a big problem and should stop immediately. That would tell me that the relationship might have gone beyond the boundaries of friendship.
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