On another thread, TooMuchCoffeeMan referred to a web site I had not been aware of: Face Reality, "Your online source for the topic of Infidelity."<p>So I checked it out a little.<p>I don't recall anyone else mentioning this resource, so I guess I'm uninformed or it just started up in the recent past. I also have not heard of the "proprietor", Elissa Gough, but that could also be due to my narrow existance in life. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>I did note, however, the absence of a link to MB in it's otherwise comprehensive list of links, including The Other Woman. So I fired off a message to suggest adding MB to its listing.<p>While browsing, the following passage attracted my attention:<p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>The great essayist H.L. Mencken said it best when he wrote, "Adultery is the application of democracy to love." It's found among the rich, poor, and middle class, among all racial and ethnic groups; the beautiful, the homely; the young, middle-aged and even the elderly. Not an exclusive province of heterosexuals, betrayal is as prevalent, and just as painful, in gay and lesbian relationships.<hr></blockquote><p>Well, I don't know who the great H.L. Mencken is, but I don't recall getting a vote, given my understanding of democracy. But, this did prompt me to conclude that adultery very well may be the equivalent of capitalism in marriage - complete with "breach of contract."<p>[ May 26, 2002: Message edited by: worthatry ]<p>[ May 26, 2002: Message edited by: worthatry ]</p>

Well, I don't know about you, but I think that website has alot of marketing and very little substance....exactly the opposite of what goes on at MB. <p>And as a result, I've spent hundreds of dollars on MBs [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

WAT -<p>So the REALITY is that it can happen to anybody anywhere anytime???
.....OK, I think I've got it now [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] <p>
BTW, did you get my last email? not sure if I sent it to the right address anymore.

cleo - yea, I guess that's one way to read Mencken's quote. "We have no control."<p>Actually, what I was referring to was what we know to be true: affairs exist because of unmet needs coupled (no pun intended) with a lack of strength to be able to predict the long range effects - in a way, just like capitalism. Supply and demand and wisdom, or lack thereof. Unmet needs plus Enron.<p>Thus, disagreeing with Mencken, democracy is a form of government, not an economic model.<p>Ckeck your mail.<p>Dave

WAT:<p>Elissa Gough is the author of a book entitled "Infidelity", and it's kind of weird because she's had several affairs herself, in addition to "helping" people recover from them, and one gets the feeling she's ambivalent about the whole thing. Weird book; I had it as one of the ones I did not like/find useful in my reading list:<p>"Infidelity - Gough - Again, pretty shallow, author has been a WS and BS, hard to tell what's her personal experience/perception and what's more researched and solid."

Ok another ignorant non-foghead here,<p>What is the purpose of that site? I was going to check it out and now???? Is it babble? <p>That's all I need to know. I am keeping my time spent on this stuff stricter so that I can deal with REALITY! LOL! [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>L.
ps: The questions are genuine though!

I've seen that site as well as many others that would make your stomache churn.<p>Go to www.relationshipweb.com and then click on related links. Then choose relationships, and then choose infidelity. There are a number of sites about infidelity listed there. This is not one of them, neither is the Redbook board I posted at for a long time. I also found another from a book I read about affairs.<p>There are many out there....not too many actually offer valid information or good advice though. REALLLLLY SAD!

Her books were entitled "A man's guide to infidelity" with "and from" in small print. Struck me wrong. How would someone need guidance to infidelity? Sleezy way to sell books to both sides of the issue. Left me with a wrinkle in my nose...smelled something rotten...

WAT<p>A couple more of Mencken's quotes:<p>"No one ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public."<p>"Marriage is a great institution, but who wants to live in an institution."<p>FYI...<p>E

So much for a "great essayist." Perhaps he is a good writer. But don't forget, the unabomber DID make high quality letter bombs - didn't make him right.<p>WAT

Worthatry:<p>I referrenced that site because one MB member was trying to reach another MB member and I happened to see this person at this site, and so I posted that she may find him over there.<p>As far as the site is concerned, I checked out the forum and am not impressed with it at all. It seems to be unmoderated and there is little practical advise given by the people that post there. There is more ranting against people that are WS's and thus very few of them return for advice and the BS's fare no better there either with no game plan offered to save their marriages.<p>Hands down MB is the best I've seen so far.<p>Joe

hi Joe - I understand. Mentioning your name wasn't intended to suggest that you were recommending the site. I apologize if it came across that way.<p>That said, I think there's something to the recommended 12 step program as a knock off from Al-Anon. Many other MB'ers have referenced this (though not thru that site). So I was disappointed that you can't get to any details about it there.<p>WAT

Is this one of the places that offers the Ws course? It has even been said that some counselors mentioned that the babble that comes from the WS sounds 'A' textbook material. <p>L.

No apologies necessary WAT. I knew that you had read the thread and knew why I referenced it to another member, but I was concerned that the other members that had not read the thread, might construe that I was recommending it. I'm glad and thankful that you backed me up with your last post. Thanks<p>Joe