H is headed out on overnite business trip. (H's A began and took place on business trips. After D-day 1 it was agreed I went with H or he didn't go.) We planned that I would go too, but MIL is out of town (unexpectedly) and D can't stay alone. H can't change trip schedule due to school and boss wants this done soon. So, off he goes and here I sit. <p>The myriad of emotions running through me are overwhelming. I have only said that I don't like the situation at all. I have said nothing else. I don't want to LB. <p>Fear...faith...sadness...disappointment...anger...hope...just to name a few. And of course with that comes the headache, nausea and lack of energy. <p>Does anyone have any suggestions of what I can say to H? I gave him a long hug (you know the kind where you just don't want to let go) and tears welled up. I told him I loved him and to be strong. But I don't want him to remember the weak me. I want to be strong and confident but...it is all I can do not to cry. H has left by now but I will speak to him by phone. What would MB suggest? What do you suggest?

My XH used to travel, 10 days gone, 4 home. He became very involved with someone while spending several months on a project. I know how scary this must be for you, and I wish I had some answers or strong advice for you.<p>Eventually this was bound to happen, and one day it will happen again. We can plan for tons of things, but sometimes we just can't make a situation like this turn out the way we want it to. You will need to learn to trust him a bit. Starting to regain trust is a major step, and if you try and look at this event in a postive light it might turn out to be a good thing.<p>This trip was nothing he planned on purpose, and it seems as if there was nothing either of you could do to change it. Don't be angry about this one, just chalk it up to Murphys Law. <p>Tell him that you are concerned, and that him being away like this is a trigger and makes you sad. Just honest feelings a wife would have. <p>Don't put anything on him, just tell him YOU feel sad, scared, and helpless. That's all.<p>People don't have to be strong all the time, and if you can express your feelings to him without crying or whining or LBing that would be a good thing. Remind him of how far you think you have come personally - from weak to strong, but tell him that it is something you will occasionally face.<p>He can't fault you for being honest.<p>E

Is it ok for your H to see you cry? It was ok for mine. In fact it was part of the healing. He thought (in his fog brain) that nothing could hurt me (so he thought he'd try to break the mold??). <p>If he can handle it, let him see you that way. It will give him something to think about. Better he think of you than something else!!!<p>L.

I remember the first time I worked a weekend (his old "romp" time) I had little panic attacks and stuff. Its ok, normal.
My best advice is to tell him "I know its silly, I trust you but these feelings come by themselves, It would help if you ..........."
Call me at night,tell me its going to be ok,
whatever you need.
Dont expect him to know what you need him to do TELL HIM
I will be going away next month for a week, I know that the first few days I will feel panicky, I will allow for this.
Keep dancing,
L

Thanks you guys.<p>I did speak with him last night and he asked how I was doing. I sucked it up and told him I was fine, not to worry about me. He said yeah right. He told me not to worry. I explained that I was feeling so many things that I was afraid to say anything...I didn't want to say the wrong thing. He said he understood. I told him we could talk when he gets back...he agreed. Then I told him I missed him, I believed in him and loved him. He thanked me and returned the love.<p>I think I will take your advise...be honest, shed a tear if I feel the need (just 1), tell him it is a trigger, silly but true, and ask him to reassure me. That's something I haven't done...I haven't asked him to help me. I thought I had to do it all on my own. <p>How has that worked for you...explaining triggers and such? I mentioned it once but just in passing-as if it wasn't too important [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Any stories of experience are welcome. <p>Sad- don't worry...I have an instintive desire to dance!