Hi, just need a few opinions before I proceed with something. I found out about H's EA, 2 weeks ago and have been day by day since then. Married 19 years, no children, known each other 29 years. Have had 1 counseling session with Dr Harley, and went for evaluation with local therapist 3x (first time together, then this week separate). H has not committed to not contacting OW, just says he is torn. He is barely here and very distant, just like he can't stand to be here at all. I know he is sending constant emails to her, but cannot get in without spy software, which I am thinking of doing right away. I know the consequences can be very damaging for me, but feel like I cannot go on plan a'ing when I am totally in the dark. Called counselor today (feeling desparate), who we don't see together until tuesday. He says that knowing what they are writing could really make it all worse. It is so hard to be so nice to him, when he does not even ask me a thing about how I am. He was only slightly upset when I melted down one evening a week ago. I know I need to work longer on this plan a, but feel like he is so close to crossing over to her I can't stand it. How do I make it until tuesday? He comes and goes and is comfortable. Everything I ask him to do, such as go together to do something he does with no interest. He admitted that 1 month ago he kissed her, which OW said was "crossing over the line"...like now they had decided to proceed. His immediate coldness to me was what tipped me off, and got him to finally admit to the whole thing. Thanks for listening to my rant, I am just not good right now. And a message to all, there are 2 of us cantsleeps....I am the one with no space between words. I haven't had the energy to think of a name that has not been taken, so sorry to other CS, I will change my name soon.
