Just wanted to let you know that your reply in Dreamlands post as really made me feel better (having an 'off' day today). W has told me everything you described, down to the wanting to remain friends in order to save face part. Its good to know that we are not alone in all of this and that our W's are acting 'normal'. <p>By the way, what ultimately led you to stop all contact with OM? Was it something he did, or did you finally say enough of this!

Loveherstill,<p>I really appreciated hearing that I said something right today! I too am having a bit of an off day myself. Your discussion over on dreamland's thread really helped me today because as you say, it is a tremendously help to know we aren't alone in our most troubling situations. <p>For me, hearing that what I feeling is also what others in my shoes are feeling and thinking makes me feel "normal" even though my situation is truly messed up. I really needed that today, thank you.<p>There were alot of factors in the affair ending. Mostly, I was tired of the lies and the betrayal. Ultimately, our contact had become severely limited, and once I had gotten away from seeing him daily, my eyes opened. I felt better about my life and my husband and the look back on the affair somehow didn't look a rosey as it did when I was seeing him everyday. Most importantly, I realized that I could live without him and be happy. I saw my husband again for wonderful, caring, sweet man that I fell in love with and married. I had to live it rather than plan for the end. Planning never ended a thing in my affair. Our best laid plan always fell through.
I do wish you and your wife genuine happiness. If we can live through this hell and come back, we can do anything.