<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by INTHECLOUDS320:
<strong>ATGNRT,<p>It seems to me you are happy with sacrificing your ENs to meet his. Are you?
</strong><hr></blockquote><p>ITC i respect your opinion and read alot of your posts..... but my god think about it IF i was happy with this situation do you think I would be posting about my UNHAPPINESS with the situation here?<p>
<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by INTHECLOUDS320:
<strong>
It also seems to me that you are making excuses not to get out of the house. Are you? Why?</strong><hr></blockquote>
please see reply to first quote<p>
anyhow how do I plan to recify this.<p>
the answer I do not know...... H doesnt seem to care that my needs are not being met , he does not seem to care that I am lonely and miserable... He still snaps at me for no reason that I have cause. he claims he is just stressed which I agree he is and so am I due to our finacial dificulties... but he will talk to others and not get snappy with them .... he will laugh with them then the minute he gets off the phone he will resort back to the d1ckhead he was before the call.<p>H read my thread today and apoligized for not seeing how deeply this is hurting me.. I guess reading my words rather than hearing them had some impact.<p>H said that HE would not give leave of an opportunity for me have an A<p>my reply was ... I gave him the freedom and opportunity to have an A which he did and then after the A,,, I AGAIN gave him the freedom to go out with friends to bars... bike shows. wherever it was that he wished to go and how was it that he expects me to trust him and to give him all this freedom he so desperately craves and not get even a smidgen of that in return...
I told him that i thought it was alot to ask for and that I should have the Opportunity open to meet people and to also PROVE to him my fidelity.
..
with that reply H did not really have an excuse for not giving me some leadway.. and proceeded to stomp from the room for lack of a better response..
I had asked for an AOL account to use to chat with and H refused that request as well assuming that I would use the account to stalk XOW who also has AOL>>> I explained to him that my intention for using aol was to meet people and that i had better things i could do with my time to check up on XOW.
we have still failed to come to any type of compromise.

PrisonerOfSorrow,<p>IMHO, and please do not get offended:
You are not a prisoner of sorrow, but a prisoner of your self. However, I think this is all about you and standing up for what you believe and standing up for self preservation. In fact, even though your H may be the prison guard, you are in fact the prison yourself. I do not mean you any disrespect, but if your H did not imprison you, something else in life probably would have.<p>Stand up for yourself, be strong and be confident in yourself. Are you scared he will physically hurt you? If you know in your heart that he will physically hurt you and has hurt you in the past, you need to get out of the house and get help. If he has not physically hurt you and you know he will not physically hurt you (which I believe is the case), then what are you afraid of. You have been given all power from God and fom man to protect yourself and nurish your mind and body. Nothing should come in the way of that. Stand up for what is right and for what you are.<p>Have you always been scared of confrontation in your life? Please Please Please find help elsewhere and stand up for yourself.

MORNING LP(FORMERLY ATGNRT)<p>I know that you are not happy with your situation. None of us are happy with our situations....well, maybe some are, but anyways...I never questioned that.<p>I know you want a way to "fix" it. Why would you want to remain in this state? You don't, of course. <p>I am sorry if I came on too strong with my reply to this post. I did read it thoroughly. <p>I am just saying that I see that in your posts you are doing alot of....defending?....could be the word. I had a feeling that you were staying in the house while your H was going out and socializing. Just like you said. That is why I asked if he was going out spending money even though money is tight(with/on other people). What about you? A question I'm sure you ask him. <p>I just don't want you to think you can't do the same when you can. It just seems that you are waiting for him to....ummm...give you permission??...maybe, to go out. It just seems that you want him to do all the changing, but you don't want to do any of yourself.<p>An Idea/Question: What if one night/day you you were to go to go to a movie, on a walk, or to visit family/friends, etc....ON YOUR OWN/WITH FRIENDS...without "permission". What do you think he'd do?<p>I truly think that starting out slow, maybe once a week, if you went out and did something on your own, without the babies or him, it would make you feel better. It may even ignite another spark in his head(the right spark). <p>Pushing all his insecurities aside, cause you can't continue to walk on egg-shells when it comes to things you want to do. It seems like you are afraid of something? What? <p>Like I said before, you cannot wait for him to change things. I am glad he read your posts and that it sparked something. That's a beginning. I feel you will still have to do the rest. Otherwise, you will remain in your prisonerism...if that's a word [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] . <p>Again, sorry if I upset you. I hate when I do that [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] . I just want you to see that you are stronger than you think you are. You are important and you are worth it. You have got to take care of you. It may seem selfish at times, but noone can take care of you better than you can yourself.<p>Please don't be offended by this but, I have to say it again......You want things to change but, you say just don't know how, right? I think deep down you know what you need to do. You are just afraid to come out of that shell. It may scare your H away. <p>I feel very strongly that you cannot wait for him. He won't do it at your pace and may never do it the way you want. How long are you willing to wait? I know you don't like the way he treats you cause I know, from what you've told us, that I don't like it. Which brings up fear again. <p>I'll end this short here, but again, it is your life. Noone can decide for you what you can and should do. Only you control and can change the way you live it. No doubt, you are strong. Look what you've endured so far. Time to get back up and out(of the house that is [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] ) <p>OK, by the way....I like your new name. I feel like that sometimes too [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] . <p>Take care of you!<p>Just my thoughts.
InTheClouds