I admit the thought of having my FWH take a lie detector test has occurred to me several times. Each time was after D-Days, and full disclosure of the facts (I guess - never 100% certain). He said he'd do it, but I'm sure he figured I'd never go thru with it. <p>I'm still curious about this - mostly on the days I've convinced myself FWH is still holding back facts about his EA last Summer. We're well into recovery now, so it probably wouldn't be a good thing for us.<p>Have any of you utilized (taken or requested) a lie detector test in your marriage? How did it work? Did it make you feel better or worse? <p>at peace

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr> He said he'd do it, but I'm sure he figured I'd never go thru with it. <hr></blockquote><p>Yes, after several months of "measured honesty" - meaning admitting what I'd found out, I told my W I wanted her to take a lie detector. I had gone from it being an EA only, to a PA, to multiple A's and still, her story did not have the "ring of truth". She told me she would definitely take the test. Well despite her supposed willingness she was still lying and had two additional A's that she finally admitted to later. She said she was "bluffing" and hoped I'd never go through with it. BTW, she confessed partly because of guilt, and partly out of fear I'd learn about the A's from one of the OM's W. She knew my gut was telling me there was more and I would not let up till we had reached the truth.<p>I've "met" two BS's who did get their S to take a polygraph, one passed and one failed. Both M's are recovering though.
David

Thanks for your reply, David. <p>I've never wanted info from FWH to "hang" him with...I simply want to be certain that I know ALL of the truth, so I can relax and not wonder if/when I'll be blindsided with another revelation.<p>I'm glad your W decided to come completely clean, even if it did take a while. Did you think like, o.k., NOW we can start REAL recovery?!? <p>I don't want to leave my H, and I honestly don't think more information about his affairs would change our recovery. We love each other very much, and we're best friends again. But I admit that continued lies from FWH would be a problem for me, especially after all our discussions about total honesty. <p>at peace<p>[ June 04, 2002: Message edited by: at peace ]</p>

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>I'm glad your W decided to come completely clean, even if it did take a while. Did you think like, o.k., NOW we can start REAL recovery?!? <p> <hr></blockquote>
It was devastating for both of us, but yes, I felt as if we had "touched bottom" and real recovery began from there.
David

I thought about my wife (WS) having this done after months of her saying one thing and I believe she was doing something else. The sad part is that my wife refused and said she would never do that for anyone, the test that is. That right there was a big give away that she had something to hide. I suppose that is why after seven months of me Plan A'ing my butt off she wants to move out. Now I am about to start Plan B. So the test never happened for my situation. Besides wife throw more gasoline on the fire? What you know already hurts enough doesn't it?

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by confused_guy:
<strong>Besides wife throw more gasoline on the fire? What you know already hurts enough doesn't it?</strong><hr></blockquote><p>Good point, CG. I guess it's something else I'm just gonna have to get over. Infidelity stinks. <p>I wish you peace thru your present circumstances.<p>at peace

In order to get [censored] to come clean I used to put him in the car with me, and I'd be mumbling about directions, and hope we're not late. I know, rotten. He always came clean.<p>It's really not worth it. What would you gain? It basically told [censored] I didn't trust him as far as I could throw him.<p>Unhealthy.<p>E