Thanks so much orchid. If you could find those people that would be terriffic. I am hanging in there. It is so strange but since I have been working on myself and staying busy he has called me every night from work and yesterday after I packed up a bunch of my stuff he called me the second he got home. ( I was out to a movie with my best friend) I came home and we talked and I asked him about a trip I had planned for his birthday. With him planning on moving I wasn't sure if he would still want to go but not only did he want to he was enthusiastic. It is a big game fair called Gencon, I have had this planned since last August. I told him it might be cheaper if he went every day to the convention and I skipped a day or 2. He came back with, "No I would want you there every day." So I am just staying positive. We are going to a drive in movie tonight. Something we haven't done in 2 years. You guys are all helping so much.
Keep me in your prayers.
You are all in mine [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]
Layli

Layli,<p>Orchid asked me to come see your thread. I am the woman she is talking about in her response to you. <p>I've just had a chance to read your first post in this thread and let me tell you it is really weird the similarities in our stories. [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] [H] and I are watching a movie but I wanted to let you know that my dear friend Orchid tracked me down and sent me over here.<p>Hang in there hun, it will be ok.<p>Take care!!
K<p>**EDIT** I am the BS that Orchid is talking about.<p>[ June 08, 2002: Message edited by: Knewjie ]</p>

Knewjie, thanks for your reply. I can't find any other postings to see the similarities. I'm doing well trying to stay on track. He is still in contact w OW but I have noticed it is not as often since I started with my plan. And being hopeful. Please let me know.
Thanks,
Layli

This is just a little update. Spent the weekend hanging out with H. Playing his computer games etc. We went to a drive in Saturday. Ben Affleck movies woohoo. Anyway, we had sooo much fun just kissing and hanging out. Spent the entire weekend together. Today after work I took him some lunch. He is on a special assignment and had to change shift. I am on days he is on nights. He said he wished it would be over soon because he wants to go back on days. I teased and saud, "It's because you miss me right?" He paused for a minute and I said (jokingly) "Just nod and agree." He smiled and did nod but it was a "hey I am really being sincere about missing you " nod. You know the signs you just can read after being together for awhile. I came home and noticed that his conversations (IM's) to the other woman have gone from every day to about every 3 days or 4 days. (He IM's on my computer and I read them, I know I am terrible and probably shouldn't read them) I also noticed that since I revealed that I knew. 2 weeks ago today. He never mentions me at all in his IM's. Nothing bad, occasionally mentions something nice I did for him but other than that nothing. Does anyone get anything out of that? Just curious. Also, I am starting to get shunned by my friends for my hopeful attitude. Does that happen to anyone else? They all think I am deluding myself. Not that I care but in some ways it hurts. Any suggestions?
BTW I was at work today with a little too much time to think and started bogging down. Thinking about everyone here boosted me because I remembered I wasn't alone. So thanks to all of you for sharing your lives. Mine is better for having found all of you!
Layli

Layli,
You wont find a lot of my old posts. Since there is a lot to say about that little chapter of my life, I'm going to send you on a reading mission. [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=37&t=016854<p>Here's the readers digest verion of [H] and I's story. <p>My Mom suffered a massive heart attack and fell in 1997. We moved in to help her and my Dad out.<p>[H] played Everquest for about 2 years. XOW and him had become friends. She was also married. [H] said he was unhappy and he wanted to go to Washington to make a better life for us. Little did I know he was already in an EA. It turned PA and [H] called me to say he wanted a divorce. He was still in Washington.<p>He sat on the fence for a long time. Well not really that long, but it was an eternity to me. There was a MASSIVE blow out between us June 1, 2001. That was D-Day for XOW's H. I do not recommend doing what I did. Anyway after that I was done. I filed June 5, 2001. [H] found out I filed due to this post http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=34&t=003191<p>We reconciled June 7, 2001 and have been recovering ever since.<p>Here's one last reading assignment that will take you awhile. And I REALLY mean awhile!! [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] One of [H]'s novels http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=37&t=009732&p=2<p>If you have any questions just let me know. I'm trying not to give you too much too soon.<p>Hang in there!!<p>K<p>**EDIT**
I'm way rough on my UBB coding and my links are not working...I'll fix them later.<p>**SECOND EDIT**
I've removed my non working UBB code. I apologize, I just can't remember how to make it work.<p>[ June 11, 2002: Message edited by: Knewjie ]</p>

LAYLI!!! Does that sound good??? It sounds FANTASTIC! He's holding you at nights, flirting and kissing...you two are DATING! And what do we do when we date? We get all sexy and mysterious...showing up with new hairstyles and perfume...different clothes. So they CHASE US! Toy with him...you have nothing to lose and everything to gain...besides, it's fun!

Hopeforfuture, thank you so much. that was exactly what I needed to hear. I just hope and pray it all works out. I would just die if I read too much into it. Keep praying for me as I will for you.
BTW I couldn't get those thingies to work so I could read up on last post. In fact I had to switch computers when i clicked on them i couldn't access this forum.
Any ideas on what that could be?
Thanks all.
Layli

The links didn't work for me either...so it isn't anything you're doing.

Knewjie,<p>Please fix your links so they can read your reference threads!!!<p>Thanks,
L.

Hey Layli girly -<p>How are you. Check out my thread for the update. H is WAY DEEP in the thickest FOG i've experienced in these 2 months. <p>Orchid and Knewjie - my situation was similar except it was Yahoo Gin Games instead. And the OW lives in Washington - we are in the midwest. So strange.<p>Knewjie - I'm gonna try to read your posts today. Thanks for sharing your story.<p>Layli, I'll write more later. Hugs to you! Hang in there!<p>Llama<p>[ June 11, 2002: Message edited by: llama ]</p>

Layli,
I agree completly with hope4future. I smiled for you when I read about the fun you two had!<p>I apologize for the links. I'm very rusty with UBB code. So as you can see, I just removed it. It wasn't working anyway.<p>I just got in to work, so I need to get cracking. Happy reading! [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Take care,
K

Orchid,<p>Ok, ok!! I fixed it. It's not pretty like I wanted it but oh well. [img]images/icons/tongue.gif" border="0[/img] <p>K

Llama,
I agree that it's strange!! You're in for A LOT of reading. I just hope that I can some day give back a fraction of what MB has given to me. I know I will never be able to repay in full. You all are just so wonderful.<p>Ok, I really need to get back to work. Have a wonderful day and happy reading!! [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Take care,
K

What would I do without you guys. Llama, I was thinking about you at work today. I think if you can get him into counseling do it. Maybe you guys can open up a line of communication. I can't believe what i read on your post. He is in la-la land for sure. Just keep doing what you're doing. It sounds like you are dealing with this latest fogginess rather well. I am proud. Are you really doing ok? I worry.
Hugs to Llama!!!!!
Thanks knewji and orchid I am off to read [img]images/icons/tongue.gif" border="0[/img]

Wow, you weren't kidding about all the reading. It is creepy how similar everything is. You H's posts were wonderful. I read all and I can sort of see maybe where and how WH is confud\sed. H is actually trying to get off work early again to come home and hang out with me. I haven't brought up A but he is still saying in his IM's that it wont be too long til they can be together. just being the loving supporting spouse. Keep me informed and up to date.
Thanks again
BTW Does your hubby still play EQ, H is on every day all day. just wondering if you H spent a lot of time on there.
Thanks,
Layli

He does not play EQ anymore. I quit playing the day he called to say he wanted a divorce. He canceled his account prior to our reconciling. When we did play, it was A LOT. It's actually sad how much we played. [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] <p>I told you it was a mini novel. [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/tongue.gif" border="0[/img] There is LOTS more to read, just do a search for [H]'s posts and he also posted as AeonBlue.<p>It's good reading to get a perspective of what was going in his head.<p>There is another post, I think it's called Keep the Faith, that is really good reading. I will warn you in advance that XOW posted on that thread. It was a massive trigger for me so I don't know if it will trigger you.<p>Hang in there and keep on doing what you're doing. You will be ok.<p>((((((((((Layli))))))))))<p>K

Hey Llayli -
I'm doing ok. Hanging in there is about all I can do. H is deepest fog. I got a virus at work today from one of his old email accounts and he got mad at me about it - can you believe it? He wants me to call the ISP about it! Hello? Can we say "take care of your own problems?" Unbelievable. I don't think I'm going to see him want to go to the counselor anytime soon. I'm just going to continue taking care of me and not worry about what he says or does. And, when we do talk, I'll continue to put my best self forward.
Thanks Layli - HUGS to you!
Llama

Poor Llama. Those fog induced la-la lands are tough. I was so hoping things would go better when he got back. I would do exactly what you are doing. If I was you I would also read the long post from knewjie's husband. It helped me gain a bit of insight to what H is doing and maybe thinking right now.
Knewjie, do you think I am crazy spending more time on EQ to spend time with H. About the only advantage is he blows off OW to spend time with me. Let me know what you think.
Thanks
Layli

Thanks Layli -<p>Funny about this internet game things. My H about a month ago and I played gin online (how he and OW met). A part of me felt funny doing it. A part of me was like "well, i'd rather he be playing with me than her." Then I just didn't feel good about it. The same with IM. He and I do that often, but another part of me says we should be talking about that in person or on the phone, ya know what I mean?<p>Hugs,
me

That's me too. I feel weird. I also feel weird about taking off my wedding rings now after that new post about wedding rings. Should I get them back and put them back on. He has his off. I guess part of me didn't want him to take his off first like our last d-day? Any advice?
Thanks,
Layli