Hi JDMac,<p>At your request, I have created this thread to give my response to your comments. If this is not as you wish, please let me know and I will delete it. <p>Here goes:<p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by jdmac1:
<strong>Orchid,<p> Forgive me for my failure to see whatever it is you see from myself. But, I must ask the question...Where do you see a pattern of any form in anything I have posted on this thread, or on the site for that matter? With the exception that I have refused to debate the rights or wrongs of what my wife has posted. </strong><p>JD, the pattern I see is that you know the concepts here (fact), your W is claiming you are not practicing them @ home (opinion), that you are making angry outbursts (opinion) and you have continued the 'friendship' (both of you have, fact). There was another couple here last year that did similar. They are now divorced. They both posted here and for a while there was an all out war of words on the d/d site and some it spilled here. I see that same pattern. <p><strong> Now I wish it to be known that I DO love my wife very much. That has never changed. What has changed is that I am no longer bogged down in Plan A. No, I am not in Plan B either. </strong><p>Good, I am glad to hear that. Why don't we hear that coming from your W's posts? Maybe we should take this on a separate thread but it also goes along with this post.
<p>
<strong> I have NEVER sought to justify anything. In fact I came here ashamed of the feelings I was having toward another woman. Having said that, at present I will not consider giving up this friendship. Which is all it has become. There has never been a PA between myself and this friend. <p>I would like to ask that any who wish to reply to anything I have said please start a new thread directly to me. I have never wanted to invade my wifes thread, and I will not respond to it again. We really do have enough arguments at home that degrade into more than they should. I will not have it here.</strong><p>I agree, I will put this on a separate thread. I hope this is alright with you. [/qb]<p><hr></blockquote><p>JD,
If I seem a bit harsh with you, please don't take it personally. You know the info here at MB. I don't have to spell it out for you. For your W right now I treat her with kid gloves for a while since I think she is still in the learning stage and that is how I do with all like that. So no favorites just based on experience. OK?!!?? [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>When I write to the both of you, I don't really want to single one or the other out. It is a different situation when both post here, even though it shouldn't be, it is. <p>My question to U is this: Which is more valuable, the 'friendship' or your family? That is a question for you to answer. If she is your real friend, giving up your friendship would not be an option, it would be a requirement. I have someone I knew that I did that with, I have no regrets about my decision. He has been respectful of my wishes to this day. Even though we no longer speak, I regard him as a friend because of his respect for my wishes. That is a safe friend and a true one. <p>Take care,
L.<p>[ June 03, 2002: Message edited by: Orchid ]</p>

Orchid,<p> I will answer this after work tomorrow. Thank you for your reply, and for the new thread. As stated numerous times, I do not want this to become a war of words on the site.<p> All,<p> I apologize if my post, on my wifes thread, seemed a bit defensive. <p> jd

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by jdmac1:
<strong>Orchid,<p> ......I do not want this to become a war of words on the site.
jd</strong><hr></blockquote><p>
JD,
I totally agree. My questions were meant to help stimulate the thinking process which may help work towards your marital recovery. If this is not helping in anyway, please feel free to disregard it. <p>I look forward to your responses. <p>Take care,
L.

Orchid, <p> I wish to answer your post, but have decided that I cannot. It has been a major goal of mine to get my wife to come to this site and learn, post, and listen to you good people. <p> Quite frankly, anything I post here that goes against something she says, or something someone else says to her about myself....well I do not want to say something that will cause my wife to leave the boards. For that reason I will not post further, unless she asks me to.<p> I suppose that is enough said from me. Perhaps one day she will be able to see my side, and come to an understanding of why I am where I am today.<p> Please, everyone, help my wife.<p> jd

Jd,<p>I respect your response and understand. Remember the 'radical honesty' clause does not affect myself or other MBers. Just between you and your W. <p>They are thought provoking questions though and given to make you both think about what you would be willing to give in behalf of your M. <p>There is a saying that 'if food makes my brother stumble, I will never again eat flesh at all, that I may not make my brother stumble'. Now if that is the attitude we would take for a relative or friend, how much more should we be willing to give for the sake of our families? <p>Remember those days when we discussed how much we would like to have our lives and families back to a level of normalacy? Well it may be within your grasp but not without individual effort. <p>At your request, I will keep trying. Please try to show her the love you have in your heart. <p>Take Care,