Any female WS thought of or attempted suicide when your H found about your EA or PA?
Also, any female BS thought of it when you found out about your H's EA or PA?
Clyde

hello clyde,
well my d-day was jan 18,2002, and no i did not even consider suicide,why? well for 1 thing i have 3 beautiful children that look up to me for everything. what would i accomplish by doing that? nothing but burning in hell and a big empty void in my children and a bad spot with my ws. for me i am glad that the affair happened,honestly,it woke me up, for i had been taken my wife for granted for far to long.anyways,dont do it bud, theres far to many other people out there that need someone. its hard and i have prepared myself,mentally and finacially,that if it happens again,im outta here,no 2nd chances here...no way no how. i can only endure that sort of pain once and 1 time only. well just remember,look around you,im sure you know some divorced folks who now have another life..they made it through it and so can you...if thats your case...anyways...take care....

Hi Clyde,<p>For me the answer was yes. I am the BS. Now may I ask why are you asking this question?

My question may have raised suspicion/speculation that, perhaps, things are bad with me, as I have gleaned from one or two of the responses on the three boards on which I posed the question.<p>The reason is simple: One poster on one Board posted yesterday, I believe, that she attempted suicide, while I remember reading that another said she had thought of it.<p>I wondered, therefore, if this is a normal thought for many females in their situations, hence my posting.<p>As for me, I want to meet my dear old great aunt in heaven and will not jeopardize that.<p>I am OK. Have long since come to terms with W's EA, although I still do not agree with it.<p>Thanks to Clouds and Kim101 who allowed me to get inside their WS heads for a while, I understood what might have been going on in my W's head.<p>Clyde

I am a BS and I did at some point. I have no kids, my family and friends are half world away.
I was so depressed and lonely I thought that maybe death was the answer since my H seemed to judge me unworthy of his trust and love, no matter how much I had loved him or cared for him.<p>Eventually I got into the anger face so I could get over it. During my depression there were times in which I couldn't really take it anymore and I ended up causing myself lesions of various degrees.<p>It was stupid, and I could hide some from my H, but after a while he caught up to me and it made him feel terrible. Nevertheless it made me feel awful to see him in pain.

Clyde, <p>In my case, suicide is what happened to my BIL before we were married. His family has a history of emotional disorders. My grandmother's 1st H also committed suicide and left her as a widow at the young age of 26 (or maybe less) with 3 children. That was due to a force A from her H's aunt. Long story...... not my grandfather.<p>Anyway when I dealt with this mess, I was getting quite tired. The support groups I had were good but I was not able to continue to take the constant blows from both the WS & OW. I didn't want to play their stupid games anymore and found it hard to be strong for anyone. <p>My thoughts about it were many. My attempt was twice. I cried so hard for help. I did receive it and for that I am grateful. Seeing my handsome son asleep help bring me to my senses. It is very easy to fall in this rut. All the more reason to talk out your feelings. <p>Not all knew about it, I share this thought with a few. MBers here knew and I was monitored by a some and am grateful for them to this day. <p>Can I answer any other questions?<p>L.

I know I have thought about it, in a round about way. I would wish as I was driving down the road that someone would just t-bone me at the next intersection and put me out of my misery. I'm over that now, thank God.<p>The OW's H did try to commit suicide. He took a bottle of asprin with a bottle of whiskey and ended up in the hospital with total kidney failure. His pain was far greater than mine, she had had an abortion of his child to "be with my H". That is why I prefer to call the OW satan encrusted scum! My H and I have longed to have a child and I was unable to (strangely enough, my body has all of a sudden changed and the doctor tells me I could easily become pregnant now). It kills me to hear of this when there are people like me who would give anything to be able to carry a child and she could just discard one so easily.<p>Anyways, I think when anyone gets to a low enough point, they are bound to do anything. By the grace of God, he gave me strength and the courage to make it this far, and I thank him every day for that.

To all who contributed:<p>Thank you for your inputs. I guess that something like this does not come out generally unless posted as a specific question.<p>I know now that the feeling is real.<p>Clyde