Here is recent recap:<p>
Latest Recap<p>Well....haven't spoken nor seen WW since Sunday when she was adamant about filing for DV the next day, Monday. This is the longest we have gone without some form of contact since WW walked out almost 2 months ago, and I discovered the A.<p>Well....Here is is Friday, and still no DV papers. If she had filed, I would have received them by now. Her working in Law office, coupled with fact that I have connections in Sheriff's dept., should have already occurred. Shouldn't have taken more than a couple of days at the most. Second thoughts for her, maybe?<p>Anyway, my reason for this post is this:<p>It really has been rather easy to deal with. Maybe I am going into the next phase. I really want to work on the M, but am a little more at peace should she go the DV route. Seems as though I am on the fence now, and whichever way she "shoves me off", I will land on my feet. Also, more anger replacing hurt now. Is this a normal state to go through? Or not?<p>I guess that would be either the effect of my Love Bank draining, or just not caring as much anymore.<p>In trying to analyze myself, it feels as though I am preparing for the worst, and my self-defense mechanisms are kicking in (Anger, withdrawal, not going down without a fight, etc.).<p>I don't like this. Not at all. But can't seem to stop the feelings.<p>Since I have went without any contact for 6 days now, I am considering it a Plan B, and will let her initiate the next move. I've went this long, and has been fairly easy due to my change of emotions.<p>I guess, all in all, that even though time is on my side with WW, time is NOT on HER side with me. I have already begun preparing for the worst, with documentation and all other aspects if she files. For some reason, I don't like me like that. But I am not going to be "caught with my pants down" either.<p>So....where am I at in all of this? Is this normal and OK? Did anyone else go through this? I am afraid that I am teetering on the edge of acceptance, and going into the state of withdrawal. I think I know myself well enough to know that if I do go into withdrawal, I am 99% sure that I won't come back. This is scaring the heck out of me. It is like I am going down a road that I don't want to go down, but have no brakes.<p>Advice or comments, please?<p>hcii
