To my MB friends,<p>Thank you in advance for any comments on this letter to WH. PS: this is the 3rd time (that I know of ) something like this has happened... <p>-------------------------------------------------
Dear WH,<p>Thank you for being part of the last 27 years of my life. The road we have traveled together, I know has not always been an easy one, but it has been full of countless joys, love, happiness and blessings. We have been each others support emotionally, physically, spiritually and business, in both good times and bad. You were my rock that I needed in my life to give me strength to face whatever life had in store. <p>Flash back, October 9, 2001, the night I took all my stuff out of your trailer after finding you and J there. I had come to the realization that you had been having an affair. Later that night when we spoke, I told you “It was over” then repeated something you had told me 26 years before “Smile Blondie, life is too short.” You were so right & I told you I wasn’t living like this anymore. I thought that meant getting a divorce would be the answer. When I left Pennsylvania, I felt at that point that our marriage was over, hopeless. Neither on of us had been happy for a long time. I knew something was wrong, I just wasn’t sure what it was or how to fix it.<p>The shock I felt, the betrayal and hurt was almost overwhelming. It felt like my heart had been ripped from my chest and left dangling, bleeding and pulsing. My whole world turned upside down, couldn’t eat, sleep or concentrate for a long time. When I got back to Florida, I saw an attorney to pursue getting a divorce. I just couldn’t imagine how we could ever get through this.<p>Later on in October, friends in church asked how I was & I broke out in tears. They prayed and sought God’s help for me. Not long afterwards I went to an old email account that I hardly ever used anymore. There were more than 350 unread emails. I scanned through them and only opened 2 of them. One was a newsletter that had an article on infidelity! That floored me. One, because I didn’t know anything like that existed and two, of the more than 350 emails, I pick this one. Co-incidence?<p>From there I found Marriage Builders and Steve Harley. When I read the principles and story after story of marriages in recovery, I began to think that there was hope for us. If they could do it, then so could we. Some were in even worse circumstances than us) It gave me hope. Marriage Builders had books, articles on the web and discussion forums. I read them all.<p>My feeling changed in that I wanted to try to work things out and that I was willing to do whatever it took to recover and restore our marriage. I didn’t know if we would or could, but I did know that I loved you deep down inside (not what you did). That no matter if we ended up getting divorced or staying married, that I wanted to leave no stone unturned. <p>When I first confronted you, I asked that you be honest with me & that we could get through just about anything, that if I later found out you lied, that I didn’t think that we could get thru that.<p>
Fast forward to today, we find ourselves leading very separate lives. You have lived away from home for over 3 years and built a single lifestyle for yourself that did not include me or the kids.<p>Being here, spending (a little) more time with you, I am able to see things in a new light. What it looks like is 1991-1992 all over again. The weight loss, irritability, sneezing attacks, confusion, inability to concentrate, that look on your face, avoidance of conversations & being with me or our family, & now that we have the accounting package, can see the amount of cash you have taken out of the business & not accounted for it, your credit card debts….I thought was chemical sensitivity and long hours, now I know different – it’s (substance).<p>Now this life that you have built for yourself the last 3 years includes (substance), and affairs. I know that you are having an ongoing affair with J, partying with her & your “friends” . A marriage simply can’t be rebuilt with all this going on..<p> It turns out that our marriage was just smoke and mirrors.
I love you, but my heart is breaking. I simply can not or will not live like this anymore. I find no other choice but to seek a legal separation. I have already talked to an attorney & told him that we would work out the details if he gave us the frame work ie kids, finances, the business, the house….. then the attny will draw up what we give him & proceed.<p>As far as the business, I did this because I am (was) your wife and did it to support you & I wanted you to be a success. Now, I find myself struggling, my heart is not in this. Financially, I will see ccp thru to whatever conclusion. Lt, we’ll have to work thru that. <p>We will always be co-parents of our kids, and want to have the best possible relationship for their sake. <p>WH, I am erasing you from my heart. It won’t be easy but with God’s help, I will get thru this. I hope you find what you are looking for in life.<p>
D
<img src="graemlins/teary.gif" border="0" alt="[Teary]" /> <p>[ June 09, 2002: Message edited by: WillGetThruThis ]<p>[ June 23, 2002: Message edited by: WillGetThruThis ]</p>