Well...I probably blew it tonight. My son had a baseball game at 6 tonight here in our little town. My exH came and guess who he brought?
You know, I thought I was over the anger. I was walking up to the field with some dear friends--when I just knew he had brought her. I went bizerk. I wanted to beat the H** out of both of them. I couldn't believe my emotions. So, instead...I was going to go over and introduce myself. She told me "Patty, don't". As we walked closer...I said "uh, sorry...can't stop now. So I marched over there and said "Gosh, I don't think we have formally met...the last time I saw you, you were in a compromised situation. My name is .......nice to finally meet you when you are not in hiding"...She held out her hand and shook mine...and I walked off. What a b****--why would they even think of coming to this little town. They make me sick.<p>I didn't know how angry I still am...until this happened. I wish they would both just drop dead. Everyone was talking about them. I just told them that yea, that was Jim's 28 year old bimbo that helps him behave like a 19 year old. Does anyone else think this is tacky besides me? I guess I am just not hip to all the new morality. I feel like crap tho.<p>--------------------<p>Newly Divorced
4 children, 18,16,10,8
Learning to Trust In God<p>
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Posts: 716 | Registered: Jun 2001 | IP: Logged

<p>All times are CT (US)

"New morality???" That ain't morality... I have to agree with you it's tacky for her to show up at your son's game. But you know the saying, life goes on... Looks like your ex is movin' on. But you have moved on too and you are doing fine. <p>I don't think you blew it. It was bound to happen, you know, running into them together. Too bad it had to be one of the kids' events. That's yucky cuz it takes away from the focus--your son and his game! <p>Still, your life is moving forward and this was just a first bump along the path. I doubt if it will last between them... What a way to begin a romance!?!?! NOT! [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Interesting how she didn't even say a word. Probably way too embarrassed. I could be wrong, but just a guess...

You're still angry because you are still hurt by your ex-H's acts. Give the hurts to God and let Him heal you of all wounds. Then keep giving them to Him. The anger is about your hurts that have most likely been shoved under the rug so you can simply thrive and take care of your kids day by day. Please try to take better care of you--by letting God comfort you and take care of all your hurts. My prayers and hugs are with you.<p>Maybe next time you see her, if she stays out of hiding, just pretend she's invisible. That might be the best way to preserve your dignity and self-respect. Silence cannot be misquoted. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]<p>[ June 11, 2002: Message edited by: BINthereDUNthat ]</p>

Thanks BTDT,<p>I am still amazed at the depth of my emotions. I can't believe that I am still so angry. I think I would have felt better if we would have gone to court. I would have paid thousands to see them both have to testify. I am still disappointed about that. Oh well.<p>You know, if I was in her situation....there is no way I would go anywhere near the xw--I would feel too much like a slime ball. Obviously, they don't care. <p>I still can't believe that someone I loved and supported for almost 26 years--could be so raunchy. I wish they would get out of my life forever. They deserve each other.

Pat,<p>I am so sorry that she had to be at your son's game. He should have known better, but guess not.<p>I think that you handled the situation very similiar to the way I would have, I would have introduced myself as the mother of your lovers children. Just me, and I guess I am in a raunchy mood today too.<p>You knew that this was bound to happen being in the small town that you are in, but you know what they were all talking about him and the bimbo and probably saying wow Pat handle that well, probably expecting some fireworks when you walked over there though!!! KEEP YOUR HEAD HIGH!!!You've done nothing to be embarassed by your actions have been implorable!!!<p>Stay strong, deal with the anger don't let it eat you up. You know that you can go to counseling at no cost or co-pays to you, it might be advisable as you have a lot of hurt and anger that you have been dealing with on your own.<p>Take care,
Dawn [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

Thanks Daybreak,
I am still angry...even tonight. I woke up at 7 this morning and took on the basement. Threw tons of stuff out.....lots of his stuff too...felt very cleansing.<p>He wrote an email to my oldest daughter today...trying to sound so concerned about her college choices. He wants us to send him her coaches so that he could go and talk to him. He also wants to visit the campus. This, from the
man who last week didn't want to attend her graduation....and the only place he was going to take her was to an undertaker. AMAZING...does this guy think we forget everything he says and does. It is so disgusting. Sorry for the vent---I fell like I am still in the middle of a horrible nightmare...and it is not going to end.<p>Thanks for the encouragement....How are things going your way?

HI, I am so sorry.. AGGHHH! Another Jim? My H's name too. It is so sad... when they used to be... "my Jim"... my everything... I know how bad it hurts. I am so sorry he is being such a slime... is midlife crisis written across his forehead or what? how sad. I am so sorry sweetie. I know how awful it is to watch your life change so much, when you thought your family was going to lst forever.<p>I DO NOT THINK YOU DID one singe thing to be embarrassed or ashamed of. I did... knock the hell out of the ow the first time I saw her.. and it was an accidental meeting... and I am still paying for it in court costs etc. My a hole of an attorney with the trumped up assaut charges didnt get me the best deal and I am now paying him to change it to how I want it.<p>SO anyway... what a break. <p>I think you did perfectly fine and I would of been much ruder.. to ignore her... invisible slut... will amke it all the easier.. ignore him to.. he has obviously lost his mind. I know how it feels to be so angry. I am so mad right now too over other things.. my family is trying to rule their poor daughter/ sisters life since I am a poor single mom and just cant handle it... WHat?<p>anyway... hugs to you, you can hold your head hight.. and guess what... so can I///- even thought I did knock her down and pull her hair out... and boy did it feel GOOD! I wish it didnt , but it did.<p>Honey

{{{{{{{{{{{{miserynmissouri}}}}}}}}}}}}}<p>Believe it or not it will get easier with time. Then some day, hopefully sooner then later, you will not feel anything when you see them. They will become insignficant to your life.<p>One day at a time...

Thanks Honey and Zorweb,<p>I am still upset by this episode. Why can't he just leave us alone for awhile?<p>He had his lawyer call my lawyer the other day to ask me when he can get the rest of his stuff. I was amazed. I just power washed the deck, am in the middle of staining it, cutting our huge lawn, taking the kids to all of their activities, and he has the nerve to have my lawyer call and ask me when he can get "his stuff". Know what he wants...half of the family videos and half of the Disney videos. He wants a limited edition print that I bought him, and he wants the rest of his retirement stuff--which I have already given him. <p>You know, I think he is sitting up in that little apt with no work and no money---and he doesn't know what to do with himself. <p>Wish I had time to just twiddle my thumbs. I vented my anger in the basement today. It is a huge unfinished basement which we let go...and it was a mess. I just got done cleaning it. It looks great. It is so cool down there too--if someone will show me the ropes--I may try to finish it myself. I'm getting pretty independent here.<p>Any suggestions on how to get this man out of my life? I do try to ignore him--but there is always something. He is amazing....he doesn't show any shame whatsoever. At least they won't hire him back on base. That is good news.<p>I hope time does make it easier to face them. It is just so hard right now. I still can't believe all the awful things he has done this year. How does he still manage to wiggle out of stuff. I sure wish they would have had to testify in court. I can't believe my lawyer did that. Oh well...<p>These little emotional things tend to set me back--I just have to get a thicker skin I guess. Thank you for your support--I have been pretty in the dumps with this latest episode. Pat

Oh well, don't let this small setback make you sit back, arrange for your comeback! You're doing very well, IMO...<p>Interesting how he just tried to pick up with your daughter as if nothing happened when he clearly owes her a serious apology... [img]images/icons/mad.gif" border="0[/img] I don't think that was right at all and I'm sure she didn't appreciate it either...<p>I don't know, it just seems like he should not be allowed to just speak to her any old kind of way. He has put you all through enough torture.

Dear BTDT,<p>I also believe he owes my daughter a big apology. I really think he is sick in the head--and people allow him to get away with it. It totally floors me.<p>It also wears me out emotionally. I do ok, and then he pulls something so stupid--and it all starts over. I wish he didn't know me so well--he knows how to push my buttons. <p>He reminds me of Bill Clinton. He pulls all these boneheaded things---and then acts as if nothing is wrong. It makes you feel like "did he really do this"? It is weird. He has done this our whole marriage--and I never could figure it out. <p>I just wish it was over...I do want to go on with my life. I hope what people have been saying is correct--that it just takes time. In the meantime, I just have to go on. Please pray for strength for me. We have a swim meet tonight--I am sure he will be there with his bimbo. I need some emotional strength for tonight. <p>Gosh, I didn't ask for this H**. I am so tired of it. Oh well. Have a nice day today. Pat

good luck tonight at your swim meet. <p>been there done that & not sure I would ever want to do it again.

(((((mysseryinmissouri)))))<p>Well, think of it this way, he is a man with no morals, with no memmory, with no family. All he has is a bimbo, and what looks like a midlife crisis.<p>One day maybe his bimbo will get tired and the same old, what goes around comes around will happen, but you know what?
It doesn't even matter.<p>You are a REAL woman, you are on your own story the valiant heroine, the princess and queen of your own castle.
You are a mother, who protects her offspring, provides and mantains for a home.<p>You are loved, trusted, admired. You are a survivor, and you have more quality on the lint of your bellybutton than what those two will manage to gather together.<p>You are what is important now, he can rot on his dear apt, be as bored as he wants, be as childish as he wishes for. But you are the one that will be able to ALWAYS keep her head up high.<p>Give him ALL of his stuff back, every single piece, even the mice that were chewing on it. Graciously pack it, professionally, and let him go, because there is nothing more silly than being attached to a rock, that doesn't move, or can only go down.<p>Grow, and be proud of yourself, of who you are.
Forget Romeo, he was stupid anyways. Don't be Juliet, because she was just too intelligent for Romeo to catch up with her and that's why he died :-p<p>Be yourself, be happy, live your life, be successful, because life is too short, and also... because we all know that is the greatest comeback of all times.

What great advice....Thanks Alostwife....off I go to the meet. Keep your fingers crossed. I think I will do fine...much better frame of mind tonight. Take care. Pat

Good luck!
And remember, you are the one in control of your life, keep that head up!