I just wanted to share this new idea I have found of mine that is making my day a little funner, and gets my mind off the pressing issues at hand a little bit.<p>Everyday I try to find something new to try or do alone. Yesterday it was I actually ate the pepper that goes on a greek salad (and I actually liked it!), then when I got home I took me and my dog to a park up the road and we walked the lake trail and I let her go swimming. Today, I tried a new place out for lunch.<p>I know it's not much, but it's adding a little excitement to my days, and I figured if not anything if my H and I get back together I may be a more rounded out individual, having experienced some new things!<p>Give it a try, I know I had to think pretty hard this morning at what my new thing today would be, and it worked good at getting my mind off things for a little bit.<p>Well, I'm back off to the lake again, that was fun, and I want a full report of what new thing you tried tomorrow! [img]images/icons/tongue.gif" border="0[/img]

You know, I think this is a really great idea. I'm going to try to do this too.

yes, I agree. I was OM in a very intense sexual 10 month affair.....we've since broken all contact because I love her enough to let her work out her marraige (if possible) herself with me being out of the picture totally. I am sad we are not together and her father just died, so this weekend (Father's day) will be very tough on her, so she will be in my prayers.<p>I've been unemployed since end of March 2002 and sitting around the house, etc allows the mind to think too much (an idle mind is the devil's workshop seems true in this situation). I think the best thing for me would be to get a temporary out of state job for a change of scenery and to meet new people.<p>anyway, I do agree that you have to do things for yourself and be OK with doing things alone BEFORE you can invite anyone into your life. we were both wounded and hurt from childhood, etc and tried to use each other to complete each other....which didn't work. we DID have the best 10 months of our life and did everything together and I truely believe that we did/do still love each other, but realize that this is best right now....and we may never be together again......but you never know.<p>they say every relationship teaches you and prepares you for the next relationship, so it's ironic that if I hadn't met her that I would never be doing all the things I am doing for myself right now (she is into mountain-biking, so I bought one and guess what, it's fun and you get to enjoy nature and the scenery), I also take my 3 yr old yellow lab to the park and for walks.<p>so all these things are teaching me to do things alone and that it's OK to be alone....the healing process will take a long time. what is really tough to get over is the togetherness I had with her....it's tough to move on and date, etc because I know my heart is still waiting for her and I don't want a serious relationship right now.<p>the other thing that is wacked is when you start searching the personals on the net, some women are actually ASKING to have an affair - but I guess with the divorce rate at 60% and 40-70% of the married people having had an affair.....that people's values and morals are really shallow and non-existent - and I feel we've become a throw-away society ie: it's much easier to get a divorce than to stick it out and work it out....our parents NEVER thought of getting a divorce.<p>so when I do date, I am going to be honest, express my true feelings, and not be afraid of sticking to my boundaries - or being forced into sex or whatever before I am ready.<p>I know I am the OM, but thanks for listening and I really appreciate being able to vent on MB<p>me - 40 single never married
her - 38 M 18 yrs, no kids, M on
rocks for a few years.
we had A from 6-2001 till 3-2002

I like your idea too!<p>I can't think of anything specific, I have tried this attitude as well. It does make you feel better about yourself! [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] I think part of it has been *searching* for a *new me*, but I have been much more open to trying things: accepting invitations to go places with friends, trying new restaurants, reading or watching something I wouldn't have normally been interested in, got a tattoo [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] , changing my hair-style, trying different styles of clothing, etc.<p>Yay you!

great Idea.... the little things really count....just a little something new everyday is an awesome idea. <p>hmmm... i'll have to give it some thought! That is good to give something else a thought besides all the other JUNK. See, just thinking about doing something different is a good start.<p>thanks [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

Something new...hmmm get off the computer a little earlier so I don't have to rush to get to work. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]

thebetrayedone,<p>Great idea. I should try this myself. Dr Phil on Oprah called this kissing frogs. (I do not watch oprah, but my wife tells me these things.) This is how we learn about life and our likes and dislikes. One of those frogs may turn out to be a prince (something that you really like doing.) Good luck in your quest. This kind of thing is fun. I am going to do this too. I am a person of routine and I have decided that I am no longer going to follow the routine. I guess I do this because I am somewhat afraid of change.

Faith1 - so, honestly, did the tattoo hurt. My friend who is a nurse asked me the other day how I could stand to want a tattoo and not be able to give myself my own epi-pen shot in the event of a bee sting! Shots terrify me, but the idea of a tattoo doesn't!<p>That is something I want to do, and may be doing it soon. My H and the OW got matching tats through all of this and I think I'm going to have to take him to get it reworked. I really liked it and it turned me on until I found out she has one just like it! So when we go for that, I guess I'll get into the hot seat and finally get one myself!

[img]images/icons/cool.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Ummm... well, yep. it hurt, but it only took about 5 minutes. Feels about like a shot, or a bee-sting... I figured I could take just about anything for 5-10 minutes. You can too! [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Its' really neat having one... I NEVER thought I would get one. I started thinking about it last September from a suggestion from a friend. I laughed at first! But then I thought about it for 5 months before I did it.<p>Be sure to get something you will like for a long time. <p> [img]images/icons/cool.gif" border="0[/img]

faith1 & betrayed1 <p>Tattoo huh? I have been toying with it myself. It is so unlike me. Of course riding on the back of a Harley with my H is not like me either. so that is a new thing.... He is surprised I ride so much with him. I asked him if he thought I was crazy cuz I certainly was not gonna let him go all the time by himself! <p>I really wanted my hubby to get a tattoo...and of course I want my name on it in some way, shape, or form. My own personal brand so to speak <p>whatta ya think of
PROPERTY OF XXXX
or maybe NO TRESPASSING
or the very best...
LEAVE ME ALONE OR MY WIFE WILL KICK YOUR A@@..... hehehe<p>just kidding...a heart with my name will be just fine... How long is it until you can give blood again though? that was my only real concern of getting one. anyone know? <p>Oh yeah, my other concern is that I make sure I get it in a discreet place. Don't want any future grandchildren asking to many questions about a wrinkled up picture on my body. <p>
Kinda my own person brand [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img]

hbh... [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Mine's pretty well hidden too. On my back... and it's an angel. So if it does show, it's not something I would be embarassed about. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>I don't know about the giving blood thing.

I have wanted to get a tattoo for about 10 years now, H has always said he doesn't like them, so I haven't gotten one. Now, I'm going to get one for ME. I just can't decide what I want for sure.
I've also been losing weight, and when my tummy gets flat enough (10 pounds or so to go, and a lot of sit-ups), I want to get my belly-button pierced.<p>It's funny to me that H says he doesn't like tattoos, short hair on women, clothes that are too revealing. Guess what OW has? 2 tattoos, very short hair that changes colors on a regular basis (not normal colors, either), and she never wears clothes that cover her up decently. How ironic that I've been suppressing myself to please him and it apparently doesn't matter.<p>So, look out world, here I come!!

Hey, if anyone is in the Atlanta area, maybe we ought to get together a MB tattoo support get together one night! Seems I'm not the only one wanting to do something "unlike me!"<p>Actually instead of saying "unlike me", I've just discovered through this how to be the me I hid inside, which I like a whole heck of alot better than the me I was! So, I want to do something "for the true me"! [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]

Faith1 I was thinking about getting a tatoo of a seahorse, but I know I have to live with it forever so want to be sure about it!! I've been tossing the idea around for a while, but I'm scared of the pain too, then again, there's not much worse pain than having your heart broken!!<p>I've done all sorts of stuff alone which includes:<p>Going on holidays by myself and getting my divers cert<p>Getting my certificate of competency so I can get a motorbike learners permit<p>Going to the movies by myself, coffee shop, all that 'regular stuff'.<p>I went to the Destiny's Child concert alone<p>And I'm currently planning a trip to Vanuatu, but its with a goup. Still, I think its a big thing!!<p>Good luck