I am feeling so resolute about the fact that my WH will leave that I want to remove my wedding band. (See "Jump in with bot feeT) What's up with that? Wouldn't that just cause more conflict? WH can't get his off because he has gained so much weight. I guess if he takes the time to cut it off I will know it is over.

RN--<p>At one point here I was so down and angry that I posted the question about giving the ring to my WW with a note that said if she were ever ready to resume our relationship she could put it back on my finger.<p>The advice I got here then---and took---was if you still are married and you want to be married then wear yur ring. It is a sign that you are still committed. <p>I am still wearing it and plan to until (if) the day comes that I am not married.<p>I vote for keeping it on...<p>E

My wife took her ring off this past weekend. It had a real negative impact. If that is what you want out of what you are doing, then that is probably what you will get.

I know I know! It is so frustrating to look at it and know what it stands for... It makes me sick inside. My WH is firm that he will not remove it until we are divorced. I even question my diamond aniversary band. He bought it for our 20th aniversary. We went on a cruise to Bermuda(where we went on our honeymoon) and gave it to me in the same manner as he did my engagement ring. He was already a year into the affair. The only reason I still wear it is because my D picked it out. I would never hurt her.<p>Glad to hear that others have to same thoughts though. I'll keep smiling and keep it on.<p>Thanks

I have a question. I took off my rings a week after I found out. He took his off I think because I took off mine. Should I put it back on? I just had a hard time staring at it everyday.
Thanks.
Layli

Originally I did not take mine off because my husband was very verbal about taking his off would send a sign to the OW that he was not ready to send. He has never mentioned it again. I am ambivilant now that my patience is wearing thin. However, I know he checks everday to see if I have it on. He looks for the aniversary band and asks me why I don't wear it. I am a nurse and can not always wear it on the job. <p>If things are hopeful and you want to send a positive sign...put it back on. I do agree with the others though that it is a negative sign to take it off even though I get angry and want to do it... I have never followed through.<p>Hope this helps. Hang in there

RNROSCOE,<p>Since my wife placed her ring in a jewelry box she has for my wallet, keys, watch etc. as well as some of her jewelry, I have to look at her ring in this box every morning. It is a reminder of what she feels for me. Every morning I think to myself, well I am taking my ring off too. I soon stop myself and say, but I still love her.

*sigh*<p>Well I took off mine the same week of D-Day #3.
He had run through my patience, love, compassion and friendship. I just didn't even want to be married anymore. <img src="graemlins/teary.gif" border="0" alt="[Teary]" /> <p>I don't recommend you to do this though. By D-Day #3 he knew that I was practically out of the door, so he started plan A'ing me like crazy.
My ring is now sealed away in a book, inside a box. He and I put it away because it was causing me so much pain to just even look at it.<p>I was very diligent on wearing my ring everyday, I'd make sure I had it on at all times, and I would practically make my husband turn around and drive back home, even when I was feet away from work if I ever forgot to put it on.<p>He forgot very often to put it on when we first were married, it really made me sad, but I'd say nothing. He kept forgetting it on time to time untill I took mine off, now his NEVER comes off, no matter what he is extremely careful. Ironies of life I guess.<p>He says that he wears his because I never broke any of my vows, and I stuck with him through the three years of hell he put me through, no matter how terrible he was or what awful things he said.<p>He also understand I cannot wear my ring, since it stands for all that torture, the lies, and the bad memmories he made me associate to being married.
To this day it makes me phisically sick to even be close to it, I get nauseous and a big headache that doesn't go away untill he puts it back in the book inside the box. He ended up glueing all the pages of the book together so it would never see the light of day again.

You might be able to learn something from my posts:<p>I gave my ring back this morning<p>asked for my ring back

I have come to believe that without dedication and commitment from both parties, the rings mean nothing. It was very painful for me to know that my wife took hers off and would only wear it if I questioned her about it. <p> I removed mine for good sometime close to my 1 year d-day anniversary. It will NEVER touch my finger again, until the commitments I need from her are made. Which may be never.<p> It was very hard to get to this point. But it honestly does not bother me much these days...<p> jd

I will wear my ring until WW divorces me, and I sign the documents. Until then I am committed at making us work. My ring on my finger has nothing to do with her, but all to do with me. It is a sign of my strength, Love, and total comittment to my wife.<p>By the same token, It is no wonder that my WW took her ring off. I know about her feelings for me and I should be glad that she is honest with herself.<p>I hope that when (if?) the ring goes back on her finger, it will be a sign of her re-commitment to make us work. That will be the second happiest day of my life.