I haven't told any family members about WH's A. First at request of WH, then because I thought I couldn't trust family members (his especially) not to say something inappropriate to my kids. <p>I felt guilty about this mistrust, and kept trying to justify by past situations where family had said things, but couldn't find any.<p>Finally, today it clicks (I must be REALLY slow).
When I was about 8, a distant relative i never knew, came up to me at a family reunion and said something to me like "How's your mom. We all thought (dad) treated her badly." Now my parents divorced when I was 4, I have no memory of anything around that time, and I pretty much had my life where my parents were divorced, but I didn't think much of it, that was just the way things were. And of course I had NO idea why the divorce happened, it was just a fact of my life. <p>So this comment was way more than I could handle. So I am not actually being paranoid about my kids, there is a reason for my fear!<p>Now to decide about telling based on more truth than I saw before...