I've been married 11 years. We have 3 beautiful daughters. My wife is beautiful, and we were high school sweethearts. Although I've just recently come into contact with MB lingo, it has helped me put into words all the feelings I've had for so long. My wife has little concern for meeting my ENs. She comes home from work (I get home before her), and wants to do nothing but lay in the bed. She doesn't initiate any social activities or involvement with our girls. I have had to do that. She balks her orders to them from the bed. Although I do not expect her to do all of the house cleaning, I have expected her to lead the charge, but she will not. She will leave a glass, half filled with juice or water, sitting for days in the bedroom. It bothers me that this doesn't bother her. She will walk past trash on the floor, or will not vaccum or tell the girls to do it. I am the one leading the charge - and don't want to be. But if I don't, our house would be a pig-sty! I've expressed these things to her in many ways, and 1st it's ALWAYS an argument. Then, she'll come back later with an apology and encouraging words of a new commitment to doing this, but things seldom change. It's the same thing with companionship and sexual fullfilment. How can she meet any of these when all she wants to do is "Kick Back"??? I've talked o her about the SF, and her attitude is basically: "This is me, and I don't an urge like yours...I'm sorry". I feel like if she really cared about my need for companionship and SF, she would address this problem to the doctor. She won't do it. Or look up something on the internet. She won't do this because ultimately she doesn't believe that it IS a problem, while I suffer on the sidelines. I'm only 31 and I want love companionship and SEX from my wife!

maybe your wife is tired and ov erwhelmed.. try thinking about how she feels. Honey

winner,
I haven't reviewed your other thread to see what has already been talked about, but I wanted to remind you that it sounds like you need to learn everything about PLan A, and begin implementing it immediately. Get your family into the relationship emergency room before it's too late!<p>Seems like you are mainly concerned (on this post) about YOUR needs. Plan A is an excellent growth pattern for yourself, as well as improving your marriage. Begin focusing on HER needs. Her top needs... begin meeting them. You may feel, at first, like you are doing all the work. But sometimes, it takes ONE to step out, do the giving, in order to pull the team together. Read all you can on these posts and see what others are doing.<p>In my marriage, I became tired. My job including commute kept me away from home 10 hours a day. We didn't have kids, so I can imagine how difficult it is to be a career mom. Sometimes, Moms who work *actually* build up resentment in their H's, and don't even realize it, or don't know how to express it. THey may be resenting having to work, and resenting being expected to keep up the home and kids.... AND expected to provide SF to the H. <p>So anyway, your W may just be TIRED. She may be resenting some things. (Aren't you the WS? SHe KNOWS something is up, even if it hasn't been discussed out in the open.) <p>YOU need to jump into PLan A full force, and get your marriage on track.<p>Start meeting HER needs: financial support, domestic support, family commitment, affection, conversation, HONESTY.<p>and<p>AVOID LB's (lovebusters): Selfish demands, Angry outbursts, independent behavior, annoying behavior, dishonesty<p>Had ME or My H done something like this, we probably could have avoided an affair, and saved and IMPROVED our marriage.<p>JMHO....

I was where your wife was. I work full time, do all finances, cooking, cleaning, laundry, homework (child with disability). My WH mows grass and loads dishwasher. Last year I became overwhelmed with my life. I withdrew and my WH did not try to help me get my issues out or help me with daily duties. I wanted my WH affections but I could not muster up energy at 11:00pm to have sex. We fell into a rut. He said he understood but started having an affair.<p>Please nurture your wife. I thought my WH affection would always be there. When I finally got out of my funk a part of him had left for someone else. I will never get it back. M is work and I think we all forget that after kids, your spouse must still be number one. We loose ourselves in life. I was so happy I was content to accept a relationship that lacked human concern for eachother.<p>Don't act rash

Hi- I was not trying to be harsh...hope you didnt take my short post like that... but I did and do resent my h not taking care of me financially,e tc with 2 kids... who am I SUPERMOM?WIFE? WOMAN>.. with no time for me.<p>Soundsl ike your wife is tired.. please try to help her with kids, house and fin. respon. , domestic too...have you read the his needs, her needs book? I would get it... read about that on this site.. <p>SHe needs your support and love , not abandonment, she is tired for a reason. maybe even depressed.<p>Plse do soemthing.. you sound so much like my h... it mad me a little mad...he had an A when I needed him most.<p>
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