Update on Mr. and Mrs Funk. In our last post we were trying to work things out. Ws gave up pin # etc. But her attitude about everything was not consistent with someone who wants to work things out. Us working it out lasted 1 week. The week started out good but then we started fighting about things, mainly about her upcoming weekend bacheloret party. Ws was not able to give me the affection and reassurance that I needed. What ended it was ws went on a bacheloret party away at the beach. I expressed my anxiety about her being away overnight and asked her to minimize the amount of time she was away. Ws did not come home until midnight the next day. It would not be acceptable for me to go on a 2-day bachelor party. Ws told me that she received a call from OMs girlfriend. Ws says she told the OMs girlfriend everything about their Affair. I was not sure how to take this. Why all the sudden does Ws have the urge to be honest about everything. My suspicion was WS wanted OMs girlfriend to know everything to assure that OM and his girlfriend would be finished for good. So I decided to call Om to find out what really happened. OM and I talked for a while and in the meantime Ws was freaking out trying to breakthrough on the other line to OM. I found out that yes OMs girlfriend did find out and ws provided details. I also found out that the relationship between Ws and OM was on and off. OM was not sure about what he wanted girlfriend or Ws. Ws broke it off with OM this time because she was tired of his indecisiveness. I also believe that WS broke it off with OM because she saw me moving on and wanted to show me some commitment to bring me back to her. So now I know that ws only tried to work on things because OM was not willing to make the commitment to ws. At least that how I feel. Ws ended up talking to OM right in front of me with a little smirk on her face. I could tell she was so happy to talk to him. This just tore my insides out. Then she blames the whole thing on me saying “see what you did now Om and I are talking again. You have no one to blame but yourself for this. If you would not of called OM than I would not of had to”.
Like I forced her to call OM. This is ware it get ugly. We were arguing back and forth. Ws kept walking away from me. Walking outside on the deck. I kept asking please talk to me and she was just throwing it in my face “see what you did” this enraged me. She caused this entire situation. I physically picked her up and brought her in the house. I demanded that she talk to me. But at this point it was too late. I had let my temper get the best of me by picking her up against her will. I could see that Ws was becoming frightened. I had said to our counselor that the minute I felt my temper was going to be a problem was the minute I was leaving. So that’s what I did. A few days later I moved out of my own house to a friend’s house. Ws and I have split most everything. Ws is spending all her time with OM. I feel she told the OMs girlfriend to get her out of the way so WS could have OM all to herself. I have been out of the house for one week. The only contact with WS is through phone or e-mail. We decided to wait a month or so to decide on the sale of the house and divorce. Ws says she doesn’t want to make any hasty decisions. Who knows what the future brings for us? I just want my old life back. I wish I could turn the clock back to our happy times and start over.

I'm sorry for the latest downturn in your marital situation, but if it's any consolation, your WW's behavior seems to be very common with a lot of WS's that are still withdrawing from an A. What has happened to you has happened so many times to many a BS and WS, that it's almost a cliche. That's why I wasn't too optimistic with the last time your WW posted saying she gave up her passwords and wanted to work on the M. I suspected that fear, not love, was the motivating factor behind your WW's attempt at reconciliation, and that once that fear would subside, it would be back to business as usual. Why would you possibly want somebody you love so much to be with you because of fear of losing you? Isn't it better that she be with you because she WANTS to be with you?<p>It is a good thing that you realized that your temper got the best of you and left before it could caused irreparable harm to your M. For that you should be commended.<p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr><strong>I just want my old life back. I wish I could turn the clock back to our happy times and start over.</strong><hr></blockquote><p>That's a nice wish but it won't happen because of the way you and her have been relating to one another. The problem I see is that you seem to be trying to force her to change back to the woman she was before the A, instead of letting her want to change to someone better than before all this mess. You seem to forget that if everything was so great between the two of you, that the A would not have happened to begin with, so it appears that you are somewhat in denial of reality.<p>I'm afraid that your chances of marital recovery will be very low until you stop trying to use fear tactics to get her to come back to you. If you really love her then you will have to stop trying to control her and let her go so she can be free to chose you or OM. But if you no longer love her and are sick of this whole mess that her A has created in your life, then I would suggest you contact a good attorney and file for divorce to end it once and for all. Those are your two choices, decide well.

Awww man, wish it was different. Don't know what else to say.<p>E

That's really disappointing [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] <p>You did really good by recognizing your anger and seeing how it affected her. Walking away when things are out of control was a good thing to do.<p>Your WW is in 200% selfish mode right now. I was in it for about 2 years. Our marriage went from ok (looked great on the surface)...to hell (almost divorced)...to a whole different marriage (better in every way).<p>Anyway, sorry to hear you are going through such a rough time. It's too bad WW doesn't spend some time working through her issues before diagnosing the marriage.<p>This other guy is a total loser...and unfortunatly will pull her down with him.