We had an argument on thurs which ended up WH coming over for pizza and tv and it was really pleasant. Up and down and up.

I opened that huge fat mouth of mine after he said where he might move to and I asked isnt that where theyre moving to aswell. I have made it a rule never to discuss her with him, but I couldnt hold back and wham, there it was.
I feel bad and regret it. Just wanted to get this off my chest.

Dancer

<small>[ July 05, 2002, 06:01 PM: Message edited by: Dancer ]</small>

Awwwww. Dancer, don't worry about it mate!<p>He did that because he KNOWS what you are thinking and he KNOWS it is wrong, but he wants his way, little boy that he is.<p>Just don't bring it up again, he is gonna do what he wants anyway, and if you bring it up, he may try to say he did it because you pushed too much, if you know what I mean.<p>I just LB'd all over the place too, in a phone call with stbx....look at the D/D board for more. But I am thinking that I am sick of feeling like he thinks I am stupid, and I had enough....well that is my excuse anyway. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Love and light,<p>Jacky

I don't fully understand the issues going on, but if you are working on your marriage, communication is needed. Honest communication! You have to share your feelings with him. Talking about OW is not a violation of anything. Take if from a WS...while I don't want to talk of her, if my wife is thinking about it, then we will talk. I don't have to answer, but I have to deal with what I have done. Your situation is different than mine in that you are really dealing with the OW being in the way still. If he wants the marriage to recover he has to be willing to talk about your feelings.<p>Good luck!

Dancer,
I agree that you had every right to voice your opinons - thoghts & feelings.
You know that I worry & vent and all, but I believe that the whole story smells of fish!
If it walks like a duck, smells like a duck,... it is a duck!
Personally, I would be pissed! Now how you interact with your WH may be another matter. I have to admit that I have not kept up with your story, <img src="graemlins/teary.gif" border="0" alt="[Teary]" /> But I seem to remember that your WH was rather prolific in his A or A's -- [img]images/icons/confused.gif" border="0[/img] -- perhaps as bad as my WW ? [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img]
I am going to suggest something to consider. Your WH may have an illness, an obcession he thinks he can control, but he can't. Now if he does have this illness, what do you do? Perhpas you've been through this, but sometimes there is not a lot we can do about how our crazy S's think or do?!! GRRR! I know!!
You know that I am forever trying to figure out ways to bring my DW out of denial. This can be very agonising and perhaps very non-productive and harmful to our health!
The other option is to detach from the spouse & focus on ourself & our well being, W/O the other S. Perhaps a variation of 180 or love must be tough?
I know you have been working on these issues for a while now & you have some good stratagies that you have confidence in and you know you & your WH, so don't forget to trust your instincts!
Just MHO -??
HOPE YOU ARE DOING WELL!! [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img]
Peace,
HH

Thanx for taking the time to read my rambles guys.

Dancer

<small>[ July 05, 2002, 06:04 PM: Message edited by: Dancer ]</small>

Hi Dancer, try not to punish yourself mate, he may well be punishing you, but you really did no wrong. You didn't make a big issue about it, you just asked a question.<p>Try not to hand him the power over you. Just try to forget it and move on. At this stage there's probably not much you can do right anyway!! <p>Hang in there matie!