My H. finally admitted he was still seeing the OW. We had a long talk, which he said he doesn't know what he wants to do etc. I told him I can't live with him here still seeing her. I'm just tapped out. So, at first he said he wanted 2-4 wks. to make a definate decision, either way-and then my daughter came home, so we put the discussion on hold. But as I thought about it, I just can't have him here, waiting and wondering when he'll leave and he'd still be involved with her, so I think it's time for plan B. I may end up losing him for good, but it's not working for either one of us this way, so I told him that he couldn't stay here with him still contacting her. I think I will give him a plan B letter, I think he thinks if he moves out for a while he'll still see me too, but I can't do that. He needs to see if he'll miss me or our life and to figure out what he wants. He wants me to talk to his C. but I don't know what good that will do right now. I don't want him to go and it really hurts that he's not putting up a fuss, but I have to stay strong. I've let him talk me into things before and I just have to be firm. Why does this have to happen? I just feel awful today and I really don't feel too hopeful. Thanks for listening and if you have some advice I would love to hear it, I know you've been thru this. L><p>[ June 16, 2002: Message edited by: tryingtosurvive ]</p>

Morning L,<p>I am sorry you are in such pain and turmoil today. This should be a happy day for your family and the very one who should be special is being a jerk. <p>You did ask for clarification and received it. It hurt and that is why the truth does hurt but look at how it is helping you move forward through the pain of it all. <p>Now you have expressed how you think you should go to plan B. You have said how you feel you are all tapped out. L, these are areas you must come to a resolution on. If it is too hard to figure this out today, then wait until you can do so with less emotion. You can work on that plan B letter a bit later. Maybe tomorrow or in a few days. <p>Right now, hug you little ones, if you can tell your H you love him but that love is in a great deal of pain. He is trying to hold up his family as a family man but on 3 legs. Your family can not move forward that way. Also when other family issues come up, you can't face them together because of the '3rd leg'. <p>One of the things that helped me was composing a letter to the OW and her family. I never sent the one I wrote to her parents because I did not know if they were dead or alive. But I wrote it anyway. It did help. I was able to get out a lot of my agression and feelings. I also could see as a parent how this could hurt even them. That is why I love that Estes is on board here. <p>I am heading out to work today. Call the cell if you need. <p>Please change the thread title and ask for plan B advise so that more will respond. Read up on that info and if you can't find it ask for that thread. I have it in my other computer but it crashed a few days ago so I am in the retrieval mode. <p>Don't worry, I'll be checkin up on U. [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] <p>take care,
L.

Thanks, Orchid. I will be in and out today. Have to go to the store and H. is gone again. I can't just sit here all day alone. anyone else who can give advice I would appreciate. Thanks.