Just got off phone with WW. After I confronted her with e-mail contact evidence with OM, she called me to say SHE wants to write a closure letter. I would get to review it. According to her, the A experience is hard on her mind and body, so it's time to end it. Two weeks ago she said she was "breaking it off" and proceeded to go on a date with him, though that date did raise some red flags (like being a lady's man and untrustworthyness...according to her) regarding his character.<p>Now, I'm familiar with the MB concept of a absolutely no contact and all. Our situation is that OM is our long-term kids piano teacher so she is reluctant to switch--"It would look weird", "a good teacher (I agree)", etc. She suggested on the phone that due to certain factors, she could stand seeing him once a week on a business level (more discussion with her to follow).
Now I realize that would be a lot better than some situations I've read here where the WS is a co-worker and all. But still. I don't trust the man (even if "ex"-fiance may be getting back in the picture) and, after all, I'm looking for a sign to trust my WW. (The way this all got started was secret, casual lunch dates while I was at work. And while OM was engaged!)<p>Now, to my wife's credit, she has been able to step back and realize that leaving me and going with him would not have worked out and that even my Plan A had made points (for lack of better words). She says she knows it's the right thing to do. It's just that it is difficult to do. She counsels people on how to quit smoking but suddenly finds the shoe is on the other foot and it's not easy.<p>I have an appointment with JHC next week to discuss further, but wonder if it's possible for WS to maintain limited business relationship with OP if WS says she can somehow look past the past (she and I to talk more about that later). I don't want to lecture her, but I suggested that if she sees him, even if for business, it would be harder to get over it.<p>How about a trial period? What kind of ground rules? If she gives her word and she agrees to other precautions (like e-mail monitoring or Spectorsoft---only business correspondence is allowed), then would that be the way to go? Or should I demand she switch piano teachers? Anyone have experience with this? I know this board is full of relapse or "the A that never ends" stories, but when does a WS get the benefit of the doubt?<p>(Note that her EA/part PA started late Jan.2002.)
