Separated 5 months, she is still rude and mean. I am tired of the lonliness and want to have female friends. Nothing serious. Knowing my wife (who has been dating since she left) she is aprehensive about being my friend because she thinks that I am looking for more. In a strange way, if I was honest about how I feel and was seeing others, she may feel the pressure off of her. I have detatched and have not taken every phone call, and have only returned one in about 3. The phone calls are light hearted but about business. I did ask if she would like to discuss a friendship over dinner sometime. Her response was "not in this life". I am pretty much ready to move on; but in the event that she does wake up one day, I would still like to work it out. I'm not wanting to "rub it in her face", I just think that if I was totally up front about seeing other people she may lighten up a bit. Maybe see it as truly letting her go. I have pretty much let her go. My hope is diminished to but a dream now. But to sit here lonely while she goes out and looks for greener pastures seems a bit unfair. Is giving up part of letting go?<p>What I meant by telling her was in a mature honest way. My attitude is not "come back now or I will start seeing others". That is not my intent at all. I would really like a friendship with her, but if she were to find out that I was dating, she will feel played. So honesty is my only motivation.
Or do I just drop off the face of the earth and let her assume it?

Hi - I think the clean way to handle this is to wait until you are divorced. If you start dating now then I think your wife will use it to justify her walking out, especially if she is still being mean. Plus, you will make the ending of your marriage ambiguous, or, make it much harder to work things out if that ever becomes possible.<p>It would be better if you could speak with her even less, and leave her to wonder. But in the meantime get yourself in shape (you said you were doing that earlier), do fun things, etc. So that you are visibly preparing to move on, without actually moving on.<p>You asked pretty much the same questions in March, and I guess you held off then? Are you now ready to file for divorce? If not, have you considered setting a time limit (without telling her what the deadline is)?