Hello all,

I am not having a great day, I need serious help!, Last night I found out H has (2) OW, he is just going crazy!! I can't do it anymore, I have been trying to save this marriage, but I don't think it is worth it anymore!

Just can't do it anymore..I need help.

These "Lies and more lies" situations are very hard to deal with, and impede the "natural" progression we all look for in Recovering our Ms.

I don't know if any of it will be helpful, but my story goes along the same lines, and has been going on for 10 months.

Perhaps some of you may find some valuable insight and ideas in my threads.

Hello,

I finally received a confession of his affair!! I can't believe it, but I just feel numb, not mad, not sad, just numb!!I still don't know what I am going to do.

NO!! How are you? I am imagining your feelings inside to feel somewhat like mine when I finally got the confession to the roses and overnight trip. I am so sorry....that we all have these problems in our lives. No one said marriage would be easy, but seems like if the 2 people that get married could just be strong enough to "forsake" all others, life and the other sticky situations that come along would be so much easier.

I would ask if talking about it would help, but I can't imagine you would like to relive all that was said between you and your husband. You hang in there. Be strong and know that your life is precious and we are being tested. But our strength is building and time will show what real women we are. Take care and hope to hear back from you soon.

hello all,

I have been gone for a little while, but I am doing ok, hope everyone is doing ok too.

I just still don't know what I want to do with H although I have gotten the confession, I have been filled with angry moments and have let him have some LB's and I know I am not suppose to do this, but I am hurt and angry, I am still on meds and I need to find a counselor.

He has agreed to seek professional help, I hope it helps him. I just need to talk to someone.

Hello all,

I am having a bad morning, I had a little to much to drink last night and I let H have a lot of LB's and I can't even remember all of what I said(bad thing)but I know it was not good, I will find out later probably when he call me, but I feel he needed it!

Heartaches...you hang in there. Doing a little LBing was rightly justified considering all you have been through. If he loves you enough to open his eyes and see that, he will agree that he deserves all you have to dish out. After all, you only married him expecting a little faithfulness. I hope you are being strong and know that you are worth much more than he may think. People tend to take advantage of something they know has always been there and unfortunately that is the route our spouses have taken. Hang in there....it can only get better with time.

As for me....well, the truth hasn't come out yet, although he says all he has told is the truth. Guess I will never really know...but I guess the next question would be do I even want to know? With all the things he has admitted to I can't imagine why he wouldn't just say the rest, but could I deal with it if he told me it ever was a physical relationship. Oh well.....things have been going really well. Of course, I do lots of LBing...more than I should I know, but it is getting much easier. I guess the good thing is that he knows he deserves it and never stops me from telling him about my feelings and asking questions.

My girls (6 and 10) are leaving today for 2 weeks with my mom to California. That will be hard because they were certainly my strength while he was gone during Christmas. Of course we will have our little one (16 months) so our time will be taken but it will be just wayyyyy tooooo quiet in the house while they are away. I hope I can keep my smart comments to a minimum. We attempted a movie on Monday and I ended up leaving him and the girls and went and sat at the very bottom. It was just too hard....there I am imagining him sitting in a movie with that girl. It just makes me sick to my stomach. GOSH>....Will life ever be back to normal for me??

Leti,

I wonder the same thing, will my life ever be normal again, I just don't know...I still don't think that my H has told me the whole truth, I really believe that it was a lot more that was not told, but I am like you, I don't know if I can handle the truth, we are suppose to go see a movie tonight, hopefully I can get thru it.

H did tell me a couple days ago that he is willing to see doctor and seek IC, we will see, he also told me that he deserved anything I said to him, but he really can't take it when I dish it out, he goes into LB's himself.

I think I need some serious help, this drinking and the affair has taken a toll on me and my kids(10&12) I know it has to be affecting them a lot, it is hard to take care of them when I can't even take care of myself. I guess I have to stay on my meds and stop drinking and pray (HARD & everyhour).

We will get better sooner or later!!

I am really wondering if this is all worth it? do I really want to save this marriage? I just don't know!!

there is so much things that have happened in our marriage, I guess this is why I need counseling!!

Just having a bad day!

Hi Leti,

My husband also denies everything even when his best friends have seen him and OW holding hands and hugging. He'll never tell you the truth because he may be afraid of your reaction to his adultery or might be testing his relationship with this other women and if it doesn't work out then he can come back to you. I suggest that you start believing in your gut instincts and start seeing the truth, in other words come out of the denial stage. All cheaters are very good lyers. So is your husband. Be strong and take care of yourself!
Good luck!

Thanks for those encouraging words ALBI2 (sarcastically). I am not sure if you meant for that to sound as I read it, but I wouldn't say I called it very supportive, and I think that's what we are all here for.

Anyway, to heartaches....you hang in there. Think of the positive and try (as hard as it may be) and enjoy your movie date this evening. My husband and I are going to make a second attempt at a movie this weekend and I have promised myself that I will not walk away this time. Facing the issue at hand is much more beneficial to us ever being in a full recovery after all that has happened. I know that if I dwell on what I don't know, our marriage will never have the 100% effort that we both need to give. I hope you and I can support eachother in this endeavor...for our children and for the sake of our lives ever feeling normal again.

I use my computer at work so I won't be on again until Friday....I can't wait to hear how your movie went. Remember....keep your chin up and think proud. He is with you so half the battle is over. Now the battle is within yourself....to let go or to take the easy route and end it. Noone said marriage would be easy, yes, that's true, but we need not make our lives any more difficult than our spouses have made them.

Heartaches, just wanted to say thanks. For sharing your life and advice and for being there (even if it is just typing) to soothe my emotions when I feel like I am the only one dealing with all that is on my plate. It makes a huge difference when I am driving home from work knowing that I am not the only wife working to save my marriage. Thanks again. Leti

Leti,

I am also at work, and I am thankful too know that I am not the only one trying to save my marriage, I am feelin much better this afternoon, but I just got a strange call, I will tell you about it friday, I am not going to spoil the movies tonight. You keep yourself positive and we can continue to work on ourselves(although it is typing) it still has been a great outlet for me.

hope you have a good 4th of july, I am going to think happy thoughts the rest of the day and tommorrow, you do the same!! HAPPY.HAPPY.HAPPY(lol) Have a great day off!!

Leti,

Update: Movie on wed. went good, everyone had a great time, but on the 4th it did not go to good, we got into a argument over nothing, I have talked to him this morning and we did not bring up the argument.

I hope you will have a good weekend, and keep your head up, keep happy thoughts if you do go to the movies.

I am just not feeling to well this morning, so I will keep it short! God bless you!

HEY....I am glad to hear good news about the movie. I thought about you and hoped all was well. Of course, as with my days with my husband, what is a good day, can quickly turn to a bad day...hang in there. We had a great 4th but on the way home I just happened to throw one of those LB's out. Couldn't help it. I end up making myself mad and he just holds my hand and listens. OH WELL!!

You take care...I guess I won't talk to you again until MOnday so hang in there and have a good (as humanly possible) weekend!!

Leti,

Glad you are doing alright! I just got a call from H and he says that he is willing to go to counseling, he says he is willing to do whatever it takes to make this marriage work. I don't know where this came from all of the sudden, I don't know what to do right now. I guess I will find a counselor for him and see if he really goes.

Well you have a great weekend and let's keep the LB's down OK!!

tachina where are you? and how are you doing?

Hello

I am not having a good day!! I don't know what to do with H, he is staying out all night again, I just let him back in the house, and now back to the same old stuff! I guess I did not follow all the rules to the plan, Just don't know what to do!! feeling sad and mad!!

awwww, man!!! That is not right. What happened? Does he have any explanation for why he is started his mess back up again. I thought he wanted to do the counselor thing? I do hope he comes to his senses...he sounds as confused as mine did in the beginning...he would come and go. One day wanting all he left behind, then the next day telling me he couldn't wait for our divorce to be final. I just used to wish I could just shake his head right off sometimes. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

You hold on tight though. Keep your personal boundaries up and make sure he knows the line he is crossing. Maybe that will help...just tell him once and back off. Maybe if he sees the honesty in your efforts it will snap him out of just screwing them all up. But I am no therapist...hell, I could use some help myself.

I just can't keep my mouth closed. I am so angry inside. Any little thing (and I mean little) can just set me off. And there I go...packing his **** and seeing what I am "settling" for instead of moving on to better things. Then when I calm down sometimes he is there to hug me and sometimes he is still angry too..and how can I blame him...some of the things I say are really awful. I tell him he is trash and deserves her--they are meant for eachother...I tell him all kinds of really ugly things and sometimes I feel bad and sometimes I just want to SEE HIM feel bad. He wasn't very nice to me when he pulled all his crap!!!

Yesterday was nice. We finally had his mom and dad come over. For some reason (GUess I will never know) his mom was ignoring me and completely acting like I didn't exist. Yesterday after I made it perfectly clear that until the issues were resolved or at least discussed, then I saw no reason to have the kids in the middle of it. Basically withdrawing and saying if she wants to see the kids...she is gonna have to see me. So he finally mustered up the balls and broke it down to mommy and daddy and guess who showed up last night. I refused to say a word until she spoke (which she did), so I just said hello, smiled and acted as adult as I could...considering I would have loved to cussed her out and ask her how could she be mad at me while all along her son practically destroyed our mariage. BUT, I kept my mouth shut...at least for now. I will one day, get my answers.

YOu hang in there and I hope letting you see some of my issues can take your mind off of yours.....or at least I tried. HANG IN THERE!!!

Leti,

One night he told me that him and guy friends had to much to drink stayed over one of there houses all night, and I have not spoken with him today to find out what happened last night. I just don't know if this is all worth it. I was starting to feel good about myself when he was gone and now I am back to feeling real bad, starting all over like it was when I first found out.

None of my family members know what is going on, they live miles away, that is one good thing, I don't have those opinions. Well leti it has got to get better!!I am losing hope and I know I have to be strong for my kids.

You keep doing good and maybe one of these days me and you can stop the LB's, I know it is hard because I do it often.

my email is idealdiamond24@hotmail.com
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