Hi everyone!<p>I need some advise and comments!!!<p>My WW has been honest about the A and she still keeps telling me about the contact she has maintained with the OM and on the contrary she keep lying about lot of stuff, maybe also about the A, I do not understand why she would be honest with me about the A....? any comments ?<p>you can read my thread @
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=30&t=001268<p>
Thanks!
thelion

Maybe I can help, as he WW. She kept the affair going, even though he was overseas. They kept contact and somehow he was still filling a need for her.<p>Why is she lying? Most likely the same reason I did. You get so used to it that it starts to seem like the truth.<p>Withdrawal is said to last sometimes as long as the affair. For me it was a lot less because I realized the kind of person that OM is/was.<p>Prove to her the wonderful man that you are and hopefully she will come around and she what she's missing.

Thanks LisaT:<p>That is what I have been doing but you know what the patience and love bank are drying out.... I am on the brink of the river, getting close to say good bye...<p>Too bad if she realize too late, I will be gone...<p>One thing is for sure she knows very well what kind of a man I am....<p>Thanks for the input, once again, I hope you understand what BS goes thru by now and are working towards reconciling... wish you all the best...<p>thelion

I totally understand what your going though. In the time I have had to look back, I see how good I was. How I tried to fix the problems that my wife said was the reasons for the affair begining... How I did special things - bought her flowers, got her her favorite canolis from the bakery when I was on a major diet and couldn't even touch cake.<p>How I tried to be there for her, talk to her. And when she said that I was pushing to much for sex - I gave her space and took care of myself so she didn't need to be pressured only later to learn that the porn I retreated to was also horrible of me.<p>The OM - he never even bought her coffee, never even offered . He had sex with her 3x more then I for over a year, she even said that sometimes it was because he pressured her with guilt. Plus even with her aversion to Porn - he shared with her the Tommy Lee / Pam anderson video, and even openly showed his support of a Playboy model's website in a public newsgroup.<p>It only shows how the time durring the affair is totally irrational. And honestly what annoys me most is that I was everything she wanted but didn't care to notice me... even when I lost 106 lbs.<p>Sometimes they have to be scared into seeing what they have - or you have to be ready to move on. Remember that Play Pippin - It really means somthing for me now.<p>Good Luck!

Hi LisaT:<p>Please tell me one thing while you were in the FOG what do you fantasize just about the OM or do you still think about the man you married.. OR is it just the fantasy all the time.<p>I am having a very hard time getting my wife out of fog. though the A is over, but it really isn't the OM does not want it but she keeps calling and emailing him... What should I do to break this...<p>I have no contact with my W since a week, also she moved out 2-1/2 months ago...<p>Your comments will be highly appreciated.<p>thelion

Hi PeteT:<p>Dont try to understand why they lie, why they cheat, why are they so mean, why are they so stone hearted...<p>I have been doing it for last 6 months but no answers, I guess you will never know..<p>Hang in my friend, we will survive with or without themmmm...<p>thelion