My H. left last night. We agreed he needed to go to think things thru and the stress was just too much for me. He came clean on Sun after I posted and had a long talk with him. He admitted she was coming to see him-this week. I knew he was going any way but now I am angry.First I was sad, but now I just feel like if he could leave again to be with her, knowing how much he hurt me, it just did something to me. I don't know if I want him back or not. My daughter thinks I should tell him to take a hike and not come back at all, she doesn't think he'll ever really tell the truth. I know he cares about me, but not enough to tell her not to come. He just had to see her again! Why? So he could see if what he felt was real? He thinks I'm just going to keep taking him back because that is what I did before but there comes a point when enough is enough. How will I ever know if he is for real? My daughter and I and my Grandbaby-she's 3 mos. old, are going to visit my son in Wis. for 4 days. I think he thinks he is just going to waltz back in next week and then we can work on things again, but not this time. He's going to have to go by my timetable now, he's not in control anymore. I guess I am just venting right now, I've been thinking about this too much today and have to stop letting it eat me alive. It's kind of funny, but I thought I would be a basket case if he left, but I feel relieved, at least for the time being. Thanks for listening to me. L.<p>[ June 18, 2002: Message edited by: day by day ]<p>[ June 18, 2002: Message edited by: day by day ]</p>

Hi Day,<p>I am sorry things have turned this way. You are taking it better though. WhY? Could be all that MB stuff and your endurance kicking in. <p>I felt better when I thought I would not. So maybe we are stronger than we realize. Our progress here is slow but steady. AT times like this is when it shows. <p>Your H sounds very confused. Reminds me of mine and yes it sure hurt and then got real angry. Going to plan B for me is not a big scare, infact it is more of a welcomed relief since I now know what plan B really means. <p>Those older MBers know their stuff. It just takes a while to get their emotionally for each of us. No one can push you there quicker than your heart is willing to let you. Not even yourself. <p>In the interim, take care. Your children don't want you to see you hurt anymore but he may begin to see that the OW is not cinderella but one of the wicked step sisters. LOL!! [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] <p>hugz,
L. <p>ps: If you can, wait until he comes lookin' for you and brings you that 'glass slipper'. Oooo h I love the Disney classics..... can you tell? [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Another thing, change your thread line to something more appropriate. U will get more support. K?<p>[ June 18, 2002: Message edited by: Orchid ]</p>

Thanks, Orchid. Yes I would love it if he would come to me like that. I'm a diehard romantic and he is totally not!
He has already told me things about her that he is not exactly thrilled about, but they haven't been together that many times. mostly phone and internet. The funny thing is, she is not attractive, only a few years younger than me and has younger kids. And one of the things taht has bugged him the last few yrs has been him not being able to wait til our kids are older and out of the house. Fog, Fog, Fog! He'd be stuck with 3 kids 13 and younger, two with emotional and other problems. Also she is manic depressive, or he thinks she is, because of her extreme mood swings. Maybe that's what makes her so exciting! LOL. Oh, well, I am going to enjoy myself at my son's and also just doing things I want, and not have to worry about what he is thinking every min. L.

HI day... just wanted you to know I read your thread and I feel your pain. I know it hurts.. and I too heard the JUST have to know if it is right cRAP.. it is straight from the wayward spouse 101 book... why is it they all say the same damn things... i even told my h that today when i heard some dang fog talk... that all ws say that... well he sd... maybe because they are all treated wrong by us bs, and that what they say is true and that is why they cheat and leave... <p>well I am seeing they all feel mistreated, unvalidated, unloved, unmet needs... etc.. but cheating excusable... ??/ no, you talk to and resolve this stuff? right ws... ok now ws.. wake up we are adults not teenagers, right?<p>Have as much of a sense of humor as you can, realize your H has flipped his lid... and treat him kindly despite his nuttiness while in plan a... It looks as if you are a little new to this site,,- not totally... but that you should poss. try plan a for q while in my humble opinion.<p>Hugs to you through the pain... take care of and nurture yourself... no one else is right now... i just washed my hair and am doing myu nails on this late night.<p>hugs again, Honey

Thanks, Honey. I don't know if I can ever trust him or let him back in my life. He has lied and continues to lie so much. It just kills me to think of him out there somewhere in a motel with her and her two younger kids-7 and 9 yrs old. They both have no shame. He felt bad about hurting me but he just couldn't hurt her and tell her not to come. I guess that tells me where I stand! Oh, well, he wants to be responsible for himself and not have me "control" him, so he got his wish. He is on his own and can't come back unless I want him to. He has no control over my emotions anymore. I may hurt, but I have too much self respect to let him walk all over me again. It's a relief to have him gone. I never thought I would say that but it is true. And I have much more support than he does. L.