Well...he did it again. Sat smuggly at my youngest child's baseball game.<p>I was a little late...I had to drop my daughter off at swim team practice. When I finally got to the game...I had to park right by them. So...I got out of the car and when I reached them I said "Gee, you're back again. Guess I really will have to organize that welcoming party. She boldly said..."you should." I said I know the whole town is here and I know they are talking about Jim's w****. I know they all want to be introduced." She didn't like that...she said...I have the right to go anywhere in the world, now I know why Jim divorced you" I laughed and said "really?" She said "Well you obviously couldn't keep him happy" I said "interesting, because I thought you saw a true sense of Jim on graduation night. No one can keep him happy. Heard you went running from his apt crying." She said "Well, he had a right to behave that way that night"....Whatever!!!<p>I am having a hard time accepting the fact that they can create these feelings in me when I see them. Why am I doing this...I don't normally act like this!!! When I see them though, I lose all self control. How can this bimbo believe what he has told her? How could I have these four great kids and be this monster he has made me out to be? When I left them to sit with the team parents---you can tell I have friends all over---doesn't she see the inconsistancies? I guess I just don't understand the mind of an OW....now my H has put me through this so many times--never in public though--this is a first. <p>What amazes me is that...do they think I am just going to accept them here? It is too easy to make their lives h***---and right now it is kind of fun to make them squirm a little. <p>I am just joking....but I may write out some invitations to a coming out party for Jim's bimbo. It must be nice to not have to hide in the bathroom anymore. [img]images/icons/tongue.gif" border="0[/img] <p>I also thought about getting together a care package for her One of those welcoming packages I learned to do so well working for Jim's squadron. Get a nice basket to welcome her. Get police caution tape to wrap it with and put the following items in:<p>
-Hot pads and oven mits: To handle that temper!
-O'douls: You will be the designated driver EVERY time!
-a few dollars--use these for bus fair after he cleans you out financially!
-Wall hole filler stuff (Spackling)---We buy this by the case!!! Use it after each temper tantrum---I mean, after he has the right to be angry and punch a hole!!
-ear plugs---need I say more?
-phone card--call his other mistresses for pointers on how to keep him!
-modern maturity magazine or a copy of AARP---to help you adjust to the generation gap!
-Key, to help you get yourself out of the bathroom!
-helmet to keep you safe during the road rage!
-credit card-oh, sorry, it doesn't work!


Wrap it in "Police Line" or Caution Tape! <p>What do you think????? Pat

Now that is really funny, I needed to read that! <p>Thank you

What a nice basket - to bad it really wouldn't be worth your time or your money - because they are not worth it.. I think you handle yourself very well I would definately make them squirm - but what do you think they would do if you just ignored them and didn't care?? But I agree that she shouldn't be at your childrens stuff it is to soon and you really don't need to be put in that situation - the sad thing is that most people in these situations are very selfish - Keep your chin up.. You know you could probably go into business with that neat basket idea - especially around here :}

I love the basket idea!!!!!<p>BUT<p>I am glad you posted it here and didn't really do it. You have to be bigger and better than them now, cause you are. Unfortuneately there is nothing you can do or say to keep her from the games. It is a drag, I know. Just come here and post and try not to talk to them at all. The best revenge is for them to see you living a happy and fulfilling life without them.

I know I really shouldn't be doing these things...and I do feel bad when I get home...but I also feel a little better letting them know that they won't be just accepted here. It will be uncomfortable for them...and if I can add to that uncomfort a little bit...isn't that ok?<p>For a year and three months, they have made my life h**. They have put my children and myself through so much pain and turmoil....sometimes I think they should go back to stoning people for this offense. In our society, it is ok now....no one wants to make waves.<p>I am upset that I would never have behaved rudely or mean in my life before. But it makes me so angry that they have the gaul to sit here smuggly and like they haven't done anything--when inreality we have been through hell and back. The damage he has done to the family--my kids and myself is irreparable--. I don't know if I can let them off of the hook that easily--and besides--it is kind of fun. Does that make me sound vindictive? This must just be another phase I am going through...maybe someday, I will be back to "normal" again. Keep me in your prayers though---these emotions are so strong when I see the two of them--I get a little uncontrollable [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] I will get through this phase--I hope. In the meantime--I will let you in on our latest episodes...<p>Thanks for your support and for listening to me vent. Pat

Sorry my computer was acting up--and then I double posted.<p>[ June 19, 2002: Message edited by: miserynmissouri ]</p>

"He has a right to behave that way"<p>Oh good, she's validating his bad behavior, that really is the best way to encourage it, for her see more of it [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] . As if the 5% success statistics for that relationship enduring weren't bad enough.<p>I'd have a difficult time in your place, I can imagine that being me all too easily, the second summer we were separated I kept expecting the OW to show up at the kids' ballfields. You handled it pretty good.<p>I'm glad you have friends to sit with. And if you can keep your dignity, your sense of humor, and your chin up, you can deal with this crummy situation.<p>As he is right now, I doubt you would want him. <p>{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{MIM}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Hi Pat,<p>"How can this bimbo believe what he has told her?"
Because she wants to. She thinks she has finally gotten her fantasy man. Time will tell. Your xH will not instantly change and become a new personality. Her bubble will burst.<p>If you have the opportunity to introduce her, identify her as Jim's mistress, not Jim's w*%$# or bimbo. LOL [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Love you list! Glad you posted it. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>What about next time giving them a little wave and a big "knowing" smile? Let them wonder. Play a polite little mind game. Bet they'll wonder why you are not upset.<p>Take care. I know this is so hard. My BIL introduced my sister to his GF and encouraged them to be friends and hang out together. People can be such scumbags.<p>Estes

I agree, she is a ho.... ! Anyhow... do be careful and dont do anything you will regret... hugs, it is so wrong for him to bring her to the games... [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Hugs, Honey

Thanks Lor, Estes, and Honey,<p>This is a difficult time. I hope I can get this under control. I do great during the week, when I don't have to deal with them.<p>Just seeing them at those games tho--sets me off. The bad part is that it takes me a couple of days to get myself back together after these episodes. <p>It makes me mad to waste so much time on him. I guess it is a way for me to work out these feelings tho. Eventually, I hope to be over these feelings--I definitely wouldn't want him back home this time. That is a BIG accomplishment for me to get over. In the past, he always knew I would take him back--not this time. I just couldn't see it. Too much water under the bridge. When I look at him, I just feel disgust....I guess I am still in the revenge mode towards both of them.<p>I wouldn't even do that tho if they didn't keep showing up in my face. Lots for me to think about today. Glad you liked the idea about the basket--That might be a good home business....People tell me what they want...and I'll put it together. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]

MinM,<p>There are still a few people out there who don't just accept this kind of behavior, thank goodness. I am BS in my M, but last year before my D-day, during baseball season, one of the dads on my sons team turned out to be having A with wife's good friend. Yes, their M was not very good, but he hid this for 2 YEARS! We were all very uncomfortable w/ him and quite a few did not talk to him at all except hello. Eventually he divorced his W and 3 weeks ago M the OW. <p>Most parents on our team will not be friendly w/ him now and especially her. All of a sudden, now that the whole thing is legal, she wants to become part of our team family. OVER MY DEAD BODY!! Since I have since had my own revelations, I guess I am very biased against them. But there are other couples who to my knowledge have not had infidelity in their M who are very uncomfortable with those two and refuse to have anything to do with them on moral grounds. <p>The worst thing is when she came over to join out prayer circle before our last tournament! Gag me! She was all the way across me, not next to me or I would have had to just walk away and not pray with them. I would not be able to handle the hypocrisy of that ho.<p>To us she will never be a part of our team, and we have taken the ex-wife who is our friend under our wing. I know it is just so hard for her to see them there flaunting the whole honeymoon stuff! She gets really sad. And they have no tact or compassion for her. It just makes me sick. <p>She is handling it really well in public, it sounds like you are to. It will just take a bit of patience on all our parts til the honeymoon stage is over and both these OW clearly see what they have gotten. <p>OK, thats my vent for the day, even tho she is not my OW, she represents all those OW out there who have hurt so many people. <img src="graemlins/teary.gif" border="0" alt="[Teary]" /> [img]images/icons/mad.gif" border="0[/img] C

Oh Pat, <p>I love your sense of humor, the basket is wonderful, can I be the first customer??<p>You know it's almost too bad that he is not still in the AF as I am sure an OWC function or squadron function would do her in (to the bathroom)!!! <p>Keep your chin up, you are doing awesome and the recovery time from each episode will get better!!<p>C ya, Dawn [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by miserynmissouri:
<strong>
I also thought about getting together a care package for her One of those welcoming packages I...... Get a nice basket to welcome her. Get police caution tape to wrap it with and put the following items in:<p>
-Hot pads and oven mits: To handle that temper!
-O'douls: You will be the designated driver EVERY time!
-a few dollars--use these for bus fair after he cleans you out financially!
-Wall hole filler stuff (Spackling)---We buy this by the case!!! Use it after each temper tantrum---I mean, after he has the right to be angry and punch a hole!!
-ear plugs---need I say more?
-phone card--call his other mistresses for pointers on how to keep him!
-modern maturity magazine or a copy of AARP---to help you adjust to the generation gap!
-Key, to help you get yourself out of the bathroom!
-helmet to keep you safe during the road rage!
-credit card-oh, sorry, it doesn't work!


Wrap it in "Police Line" or Caution Tape! <p>What do you think????? Pat</strong><hr></blockquote><p>Awhhh Pat, can I order one with a special request?<p>1. Please add a card. I choose the 'restraining order due to OW is a weenie bathroom baby' variety. Complete with a judges stamp for the OW to stay away from all future visitations with the children or any related functions where the children are to be present. re: She is to be considered bad association. <p>2. For a special touch I would like to add 1 bag of laundry. The variet should include 1 set of WS underwear and working clothes. Oh yes,to add a special touch of the classic 'dog poop' made special by PBR. hard or soft variety. PBR carries both the human and animal styles!!! You can order it from her website at Ow loves Poop.com <p> [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/tongue.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/tongue.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>L.<p>[ June 19, 2002: Message edited by: Orchid ]</p>

Oh Thanks for the Posts,<p>I just got home from picking up my 2nd oldest from a Rotarty Leadership camp--really well done camp.<p>I came home to read these posts...and you all made my day. I was feeling kind of down about the whole situation.<p>Firefly,
Thank you for letting me know there are still people out there that believe this is so wrong. I appreciate your words.<p>Dawn: It is always great hearing from you....I wish I could get her to an OSC function...it could be fun with that too.<p>Orchid, <p>You are too funny. Great addition for the basket. Want to go in business with me...we could do it over the internet....could be fun. Take Care Pat

I don't knooooww, mnm,
I think you should avoid this unscrupulous OW before you guys end up in a fist fight or you end up just hauling off and slapping her down--right in front of your kids and all your friends! That would not be a pretty sight! And you would look like the bad guy...<p>Perhaps you should just stay away from both of them and preserve your dignity and sanity. She doesn't deserve to have a conversation with you, let alone an opportunity to hurl insults at you--which is exactly what she did. She's not worth one second more of your time nor attention. Yuck! [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Protect yourself from both of them as much as you can! She's trying to add fuel to your fire. Don't let her! Just pretend they are invisible.<p>[ June 20, 2002: Message edited by: BINthereDUNthat ]</p>

Dear BTDT,<p>I know I should follow your advice. It is so hard letting it go tho.<p>But, I think you are right...if I don't watch it, I could really hurt my reputation---and lower myself to her level. They do scramble and get out of there in a hurry at the end of the games.<p>Darn...I wish I would have had them testify in court. Then there is no way either one of them could deny their part in this horrible mess. I can't believe how "cool" she is. She really is a b****. I don't think I could be that way in her situtation. Guess she is the type that know what she wants and gets it no matter what. Amazing.<p>Thanks for the advice...I do need to figure out a game plan for the next time. Pat

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by miserynmissouri:
<strong>Guess she is the type that know what she wants and gets it no matter what. Amazing.
</strong><hr></blockquote><p>No, sounds to me like she is the type who KNOWS her very existence in your lives is wrong, but tries to justify it at any cost!!! Her comment didn't make you look bad, just made her look worse, to me anyways...<p>Just wondering? What is your ex's demeaner while you two are having your conversations? Does he just sit there and ignore it or is he uncomfortable or does he say anything??? He CAN'T possibly be okay with his OW's behavior??? Could he????<p>Next time, just play a trick on your mind like your son is the only one who is going to get any of your time and attention, esp. since he is the star of the game. Cheer for him, dote over him, take pictures of him, focus on the game. Dial them out. Gosh, I wish I could go with you... I would surely go and sit with you and support you. {{{{HUGS}}}}

And another thing, which I'm quite sure has been mentioned on these boards before... Here she is with a man who walked away from his wife and FOUR children... through CHEATING?!?! What makes her think he is all that because he chose her over you? What makes her think he will treat her any better than he treated you when the sparks settle and he gets bored with his life with HER???!! You tell me--WHAT!? [img]images/icons/confused.gif" border="0[/img] <p>mnm, go over--to the Divorcing/Divorced board and read. READ about all the stories of OW and WS breaking up and WS is miserable and how BS feels sorry for them even tho we all knew it would eventually happen... She's going to be gone before you know it so don't let her take up space in your head! [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]<p>[ June 21, 2002: Message edited by: BINthereDUNthat ]</p>

Dear BTDT<p>Thanks...I don't know what she thinks. I think he has filled her with so many lies...and she believes them. You would think at 28--she would be smarter than that.<p>I get amazed because the kids don't accept her--she has had to hide in the bathroom when the older girls visit because they hate her so bad.<p>The younger two don't want anything to do with her either---but she rationalizes all this away too.<p>I have spoken with her on 2 occasions now at the baseball games. The only other time I saw her was when I ran into her and H at a hotel--I went to talk about our relationship before hiring an attorney--and he had brought her here. <p>I think that is why I have stopped to talk at the games. She needs to realize that I am a real person--not this made up version my H has presented to her.<p>I know I need to just let this go...but that is hard to do when your entire life has been rocked. <p>But I think I have made my stand...now she just needs to learn on her own. She thinks she has made this wonderful catch...he is a great looking man. Too bad she doesn't understand that not everything that has a good looking package is good for you.<p>I miss the family...I realize now, I was trying to make. It could have been great....it should have been great. But it takes two people to want it...and Jim wasn't able to.<p>I still don't know how he looks at himself in the mirror. He has to know what he had--but he never committed to this relationship. I don't think he ever will to any relationship unless it serves his needs. He wants someone to commit to him and revolve their life just around him and his needs. How selfish is that?<p>What a journey this is...there are days I feel so much better and then days like yesterday when the bottom falls out. I am glad I can vent here--helps me to keep going. THanks Pat