I have thought about sending an email to the OW telling her that I still love my husband very much and am praying for his return. I want to send her bible verses showing her sin for what it is and telling her that God will never bless this A. Is this a bad idea?<p>I am starting Plan B for the 2nd time on Sunday. Please lend me your thoughts. ... Kim...

Hi MF,<p>I don't think that sending the OW Bible verses to "show her her sin" is a good idea... especially if your H is living with her. The OW will surely show your e-mail to your H and it will be seen by both of them as manipulative.<p>I never had to go to plan b, but from what I've read here on MB, one of the main things is to limit ALL contact and to work on yourself. <p>Stay strong and realize that most A's will eventually die once the reality of everyday life sets in.<p>Take care,
RIF90

What exactly do you hope to get out of emailing her?<p>You cannot teach someone who is not willing to be taught.<p>The OW knows her part in this. She knows right from wrong.<p>IMHO....this would be seen as being manipulitive on your part.<p>If in fact you are starting Plan B again....then you have to be even more firm this time.....given that you have not stuck to the terms of Plan B the first time. No contact unless absolutley necessary....this includes the OW.

I agree with the others. Don't contact her.<p>You can send OW a copy of the PLan B letter when you send it to your H. That will communicate your love and commitment to your H.<p>Can we help you review your letter and your Plan B goals and boundaries?

Thanks for the advice. I think I knew it in my heart not to contact the OW. My H told me that she thought she is doing nothing wrong by being with him because he told her that he stopped loving me long before he met her. She is Catholic and I know they believe this is wrong. My H is not living with her because he can't stand her 3 children. I don't think this A will end soon because he doesnt live with her so it is still in honeymoon phase. He says he will never marry her. We can't divorce for one more year because we are waiting immigration here in the U.S., that might be a blessing. The OW is from his country.<p>I have a letter in the working (feeling I should just tell him,not give a letter)for Plan B when my H returns tomorrow from visiting his dying father. He took the OW with him which shocked his family. If I sent the letter to the OW, then she would know that my H has been in my life to some degree during their A. That would make her angry as I heard she already hates me. I know she feels threatened by me. She has no idea that I was having sex with my H for a while when he was with her. I cut that over a year ago. I also cut having family time together but I havent yet cut him entirely but I will. I notice he is very cold and rude on the phone when his girlfriend is with him, but when he is alone, he will talk for hours. I am ready to cut all this.<p>I guess part of the reason for wanting to send the OW a letter is to try to break this A, but it could also backfire on me. I am thinking the A should die a natural death, not from me. The A has been going on now for almost 2 years and I am feeling very little hope for our marriage. Let's see how a full Plan B will work, that is the only hope I have, plus prayer. I have done an amazing Plan A.<p>Thanks for the advice, it is an extra confirmation. Kim......

Wait...who's manipulating who here? The WH has moved in with the OW a year and a half ago and continues to keep you on a string so that he can jerk your emotional chain any time he likes. His supposed misery is surely not produced by the OW or he would leave her too. That doesn't necessarily mean that he would come back to you though.
Your issues aren't with the OW. Emailing her will do no good. Your issues are with your WH. All you are doing by waiting in the wings for him is enabling the A. Cut the string and get on with your life. i.e (plan B) Then you are in control. Right now he thinks he can continue the A because you have so much as promised him that you will be waiting for him with open arms when he has had his fill of this OW. What a deal!