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Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 1,649
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Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 1,649
Actually it's been a year and a half. And the hits keep a-comin'!<p>
Making the long-story short:
H and I separted Dec 2000, he said he was unhappy==found out he was leaving to pursue someone else whom he felt 'understood' him. <p>He came back 3 wks later after much talking and negotiation.<p>August-Dec of 2001 I had an affair with the h of a close friend.<p>We have worked our problems out for the most part and we are both committed to the marriage.<p>Friday, h had a really good buzz going after drinking a considerable amount of Crown Royal and turned to me and said "So, it's okay if I had sex with someone else while we were separated." I must have looked strangely at him because he suddenly got the "Ohmigod, what did I say?" look on HIS face. Come to find out he had sex twice with a stripper at the club where the gf of his friend worked. <p>I don't know how I feel. I would be such a hypocrite to be angry with him since I, too, had an a--after we had reconciled. He claims it doesn't count because we were separated and at the time, he had no plans to ever reconcile. I guess I feel kind of hurt and disgusted. He did tell me that it was only sex (even tho she came around to his friend's place a couple of weeks after we were back together looking for him) and that he has never 'made love' to anyone but me and that loving makes all the difference in SF. With which I agree---otherwise, it's just sex. I'm also shocked that the man I married could actually have sex in a public place....that's just weird to me. <p>He has had no contact with either of the women since we've been back together--I'm sure of it. <p>I just don't know what to think...it threw me for a loop because I thought he was the only one in the EA with the one---I had convinced myself that he had done nothing physical with anyone else. <p>I also guess I feel less guilty about the a I had now--to be quite honest...kind of like his guilt (I consider separated still married, thank you)makes mine not so bad.<p>Any feedback?

Joined: May 2001
Posts: 156
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Joined: May 2001
Posts: 156
Weeellll, sorry I took your subject line, help me to see the similarities!!! I also have a thread going on JFO, which is where I was more comfortable last May. This forum seems to have alot more traffic, I need all the help I can get. <p>I am sort of treading water right now, looking for any help I can. Everyone here is so great, and I appreciate the humor more than you can know.<p>I am glad for you that the truth is finally out there, and boy do I know how you feel. I haven't ever been seperated from my husband, and haven't considered an affair of my own, but I do understand the inclination. The pain is unbearable.


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