Hello Everyone: I really didn't want to post this because I've just been trying to move on w/ my life regardless of how I feel. But I can't take what I feel are my XH's mindgames anymore. I feel like I am going crazy.<p>He has been with his OW for 2 yrs now but currently lives w/ his brother. I've really never been out of the picture completely because of our 2 daughters. I had tried to Plan A but it just didn't work. Anyway, I know for the longest time my husband just wanted to have his cake & eat it too which I allowed up until about 3 weeks ago. Then I chose to finally step away from having a lot of connection w/ him because I was the one that continued getting hurt regardless of how nice I was to him. I know his OW pressured him into asking me for the divorce because she called to schedule him for a class we had to take to finalize the divorce as well as giving him the money to take it. Oh, well, that's neither here nor there. He had been coming over and just making himself at home whenever he brought our daughters home and one night he even told me that he really never wanted the divorce either but had asked me for it because he thought later on we could make a new beginning (start over) for ourselves. I didn't respond to it. <p>He would still come over looking for sex from me but I hadn't fallen for it for quite awhile now. He sent me e-mails w/in the past couple months telling me he loved me and even on the phone he told me that he never fell out of love w/ me. Now what were comments like this supposed to mean to me??? I felt like I was the crazy one because needless to say, it made me feel good. Keep in mind, he's never done anything w/ just OW & my kids unless her kids are w/ her and vice versa. The day after he says all this & wants to have sex w/ me he tells me that he & just OW are going to take our daughters to the movie & the beach. All I did was just think to myself "you are so weird." <p>I then told him to please leave my house and he tried hugging me to tell me that he never meant to hurt me but I was the one that told him to give OW a chance. For the first time he cried as he was telling me all of this. I had never seen him cry before. I just told me to please quit playing games with me and to please stay the hell out of my life because I deserve so much better. With that reply, he informed me that I need to start dating so I can know how he feels. (that reply kind of stung). He then left my house angry and took our daughters with him and took them to the movie w/ OW. He brings them home to me afterwards, walks in & acts like nothing ever happened. I, at that point, frustrated, confused, angry, etc. sat him down and asked him "why he didn't move in w/ OW?" he just replied "because I don't want to". I told him that I wish he would because this way I knew that his games were going to stop. There is no way he could call or come over w/out OW monitoring time, etc. He just looked at me and said "it isn't going to happen." I told him never speak to me again unless it regards the girls. <p>As difficult as it's been for me we hardly spoke. Then this past Saturday night 11:30pm, I get woke up by a phone call & guess who it is. It's the OW. She called to inform me that she had just gotten a call from an anonymous caller telling her to tell her boyfriend (my XH) to grow some balls and tell her the truth about who he really wanted to be with because he constantly was coming over to my house to ask for sex. I don't know who the caller was but the OW was not very happy due to her not knowing who it was. Anyway, I told her that it was none of her business what went on inside my home. And that it didn't matter anyway because she and my XH got what they wanted anyway. Cruel as this woman is then replies, "I know we did and besides that you're right it doesn't matter because he and I have an awesome sex life." Major burning in my heart but I didn't let her know that. That wasn't all that was said but that was the major jist of the conversation. She then told me that she loved my husband more than she's ever loved anyone before & wants to be with him for the rest of her life. I wanted to be rude and say "oh, you mean more than the 5 previous husbands you've had." But I didn't, I just told her that from now on if she had a problem that she needed to go thru XH and never to call my house again. <p>I can tell she is one pushy witch. I couldn't sleep after that but I got thru it okay. My XH has never said a word about it which I'm sure she told him about the phone call & I never bothered to bring it up to him either. <p>Today, my husband calls me early and sounds cheery as can be and wants to carry on a conversation about our daughters. I let him talk but cut it short. I can't lie & say that I don't miss talking to him but I don't want to let myself hurt anymore. I have to move on w/ my life but you know I do know one thing for sure and that is that my husband is very, very sure of my love for him. That is definitely one thing he always flaunted during our marriage and even a couple times after separation was his certainty about the extent of my love for him. <p>Unfortunately, I do still love him but I am growing stronger by myself & kids and have accepted the fact that he will never leave the OW. I know he's a co-dependent & spineless. We are divorced and that's the way it's going to be no matter the friendship he wants to keep with me. <p>Am I wrong for wishing that at some point & time I wished he had shown some remorse?? Should I try to remain casual friends w/ him or not? Do you think he's ever sincere in what he tells me??
I guess I'm tired of feeling like his safety nest so he feels comfort whenever he comes to the house. Should I no longer let him do this? Maybe, deep inside, the only reason I've really let him do any of this is because I heard that the OW can't stand the thought that he and I still even speak to one another even if it regards our daughters. She still interacts w/ her XH's. Please, anybody give me some insight. Anything will help. I just want to be able to block him out and move on no matter what games he wants to play. [img]images/icons/confused.gif" border="0[/img]
