Well, many of you know my story...<p>It's been nearly 10 months post d-day, nearly 1 month of Plan B.<p>Recently, a thought occurred to me... I have some options here. Rather than assume I just need to sit here in Plan B for a long time, I can DO something!<p>What I'm talking about is this... WW and I moved to California from Canada in January 2000. The intention wasn't to stay permanently... we love our "home and native land" and would have likely returned within 2-3 years. Our families are back there, and although I certainly admit I LOVE the weather... it's not home. We're not citizens, and I doubt would find getting a green card all that easy. I do have some good friends here now, but I do back home, and could make new ones wherever I go.<p>And then thinking back to SAA (sadly, it's packed in a box somewhere)... Dr.Harley RECOMMENDS to the BS who's in Plan B to MOVE AWAY, if possible. Yes, kids can be a complication, but we don't have that problem.<p>This idea was planted in my head by SAA, but has recently sprouted and grown considerably! The idea is compelling: getting away from the entire A environment.<p>Now, some of you might be thinking "he's just trying to manipulate her"... but why does Dr.Harley recommend it? I suspect for 2 reasons: 1. as is the goal of Plan B, to remove the BS from further pain, and putting distance between them and WS is a way to help, and 2. it removes yet another EN from the WS - a sense of security (i.e., "I know BS is sitting 2 miles from here, available if I change my mind").<p>I know for a fact that WW has had thoughts along the lines that this is as simple as her "choosing" either me or OM. I.e., she is still on the fence, despite my Plan B stance. It's frustrating, and although yes, I should "let it go," I think it would be easiest for me to do that if I'm DOING something, namely making the effort to move home. Again, it's about a PLAN, being proactive, making me feel like I'm doing something to move my life in some direction - any direction.<p>This has an interesting byproduct, namely that if WW starts coming out of the fog, the choice becomes seemingly obvious - return home, away from OM. Or provide enough of a reason for me to lug all my stuff 2,000 miles back to CA.<p>I'm just starting to toy with this idea... I will be discussing with my counselling "team"! If it happens, it won't be for another 2-3 months, and I will have to check with a lawyer about issues I might face.<p>I see others facing similiar quandries too. It's a tough decision - but it is looking more and more appealing by the minute! Anyone else out there have experience with this issue (i.e. moving away while in Plan B)?
