Thanks, DU. E-mail sent.

She should be home within the hour. I am about to fire up the grill and get cooking!

ST

Well, turns out she had lunch with the OM. He is mad that she has not left me yet. He is getting upset and stressed out by the situation. She thinks he may be getting ready to blow her off.

Of course, she is really upset. It really hurts to see her so brokenhearted.

Obviously, this is a critical time. He is pushing the issue. Not me. I am a bit surprised that he started losing it this quickly, but Jennifer says he is a 'sprinter' and could not keep it up for long.

I am pi$$ed off at him for breaking my wife's heart. How is that for true love for my wife??

ST

Tiger,
I have been exactly where your wife is now. And yes I got your email and responded. I work nights and so I have a hard time keeping up with the posts here.
But I have been where she is now. The OM that was in my life was pushing me for things I just wasn't ready for and I was so confused and stressed that I just didn't know where to turn for help. My H was my stronghold and I didn't even realize it. He kept telling me that he loved me so much he was willing to take the chance that I would leave him if that was what would truly make me happy. And the more the OM pushed, the more I realized if he truly loved me he would be willing to wait for me to figure things out. It was a mess!!

I hope she will write to me or maybe we can call and talk to each other. I will be home on Sunday if she wants to talk. I know how much it hurts to think of doing without the OM in your life. And many other things I wouldn't dare express here, but I would be willing to open up to her.
Debbie

Well, the OM apologized to WW Monday for 'pushing' her. Looks like he wised up over the weekend. (Dangit!)

Talked a bit to WW about it. She is not at all unhappy with me, and she is 'impressed' with the changes I have made in myself. She says that she is 'home' and trying to get over her feelings for the OM.

I told her that that was great, and that I appreciated it, but that we cannot work on our marriage until she has told OM to go away forever. She cannot be 'friends' with him.

I told her I 'feel' like confronting him. I told her that I thought he would hit me. She said he never would, and that she would not talk to anyone who would hit me. (I didn't tell her that he has in part hurt me worse than any punch to the gut. I wish she could learn to hate him for that.) She couldn't understand why I want to confront him, what good would it do. I told her that it would make me feel better to give him a piece of my mind. (Talk about his mama and stuff...) I asked her specifically if she wanted me not to confront him. She said to not confront him. I pointed out to her that she was telling me what to feel, and for me to control my feelings and not act on them. She thought about that for a second.

So, we are still in limbo here in Tigerland. No problem, really. I am getting used to Plan A. That is good for me. I can hold out for a while, and I think he will crack again. If I do have to go to Plan B, it will be after an excellent Plan A, that's for sure.

The only LBs I am doing are with 'permission,' that is, to continue to point out how he has low character, and even if her love is blinding her to that now, that it will matter to her in the long run. I only say that stuff when she asks questions. I tell her that I would rather not talk about him, but since she asked...

We are getting along great otherwise. We never argue, and she tells me her love for me is much deeper than her love for him. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> She wonders 'what if' she had met him before she married me. All I can say is that he would have already shown his true colors, and that she would not like what she sees. I am certain that he is incapable of long term committment, and is very weak and immature. She sees his weakness, and admits it. I simply point out that it is part of his lack of character.

He seems to be a clever SOB. He should write a book, 'How To Poach Vulnerable Married Women.' Maybe he could write a book, 'There Is A Big Foot Up My A$$' after I catch him!!! (Just kidding...)

Sad Tiger,

My gosh...your posts made me cry...I only wish my H had been 1/10th as loving and gentle as you have been on your WW. Instead I have been called names and lashed out against repeatedly which is killing whatever feelings I had left on the inside...on the other hand...you are being WAY TOO hard on yourself.

I am in the withdrawal phase from the OM...I have similar issue with the OM...in finding out he was in trouble with the courts, etc. and have been constantly reminding myself of the fact that I was more in love with what I thought he was...and not who he actually is...and that it is more possible for my H to actually become this 'person' than it would ever be for the OM to truly be this 'person'. That helps me resist the temptation to call. Bottom line is this...even if I did divorce and hook up with this OM...would I truly want to be with someone who helped someone else violate their marriage vows (no matter what the reason was)...and how long would it be before the OM cheated on me and then I got a big taste of what I had done to my own H. No one truly worth being with...no so called 'soul-mate' would condone the behavior that occurs in an A...nor would they condone the shattering of a family even if my spouse was a jerk.

I hope your wife can manage to see the truth...it is not the OM that is the 'pull'...it's the dream of the ideal...one which you have a much better chance of meeting than he ever will. I know some of what she is going through...so I have empathy for her also...but my heart is really breaking for both you and my H right now.

Will she come to this MB? Tell her there are WW's and WH's here also. I don't currently have an email address other than my work one. If you want to email me..or want her to be able to..post your email addy and I will send you my information directly.

Warmest Wishes for you both

{{{{YellowRose}}}}

Thank you for your kind words. How long since your D-Day? It took me a while to get control of myself after discovery. Your H may just need a little more time.

I was not very understanding with WW at first. For the 1st 6 weeks I was very upset, though I never really called her names, just tried to reason and plead with her. By the 25th of May, after going to a wedding, I really let her have it. I didn't call her names, but I ranted on and on for an hour or more. "You don't know what love is..." "You don't know what commitment is..." "Thank OM for me for showing me what kind of person you are..." That stuff was not very nice at all. She moved back with her parents for a month two days later.

The Anti-Depressants kicked in a little more, and I kept reading this site and lots of books, and have not had any other outbursts like that since, nor will I.

She moved back in after a month apart (though we dated alot!), and except for the continued feelings she has for him, our life has never been better. I do not consider ourselves in recovery, since she still has not made a firm commitment to our M, but hey, she is here and trying and I will take that!

I hope that my WW will have the same understanding of the OM that you do some day. I believe she will. Your husband is a lucky man that you are this far along. My WW has said that she wishes she could have 2 husbands. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> I really had no reply to that.

This statement:
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">No one truly worth being with...no so called 'soul-mate' would condone the behavior that occurs in an A...nor would they condone the shattering of a family even if my spouse was a jerk. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">is quite true. It is the point I have been trying to make to her all along. I wish she could 'get it' like you have. It would help her get over him. She calls her old b-friend "[censored]." I want to hear her call this guy "[censored] 2" one of these days! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

She is aware of this board, but I don't think she would care to post. She has referred to Jennifer and MB in general as brainwashing. (She talked to Jennifer one time...) We have discussed this, and she probably would be willing to talk to other WWs. Here is an e-mail address you can send your info to. I will get back to you with our 'real' address.

mister_freeze2112@hotmail.com

Sad Tiger

Bottom line is this...even if I did divorce and hook up with this OM...would I truly want to be with someone who helped someone else violate their marriage vows (no matter what the reason was)...and how long would it be before the OM cheated on me and then I got a big taste of what I had done to my own H. No one truly worth being with...no so called 'soul-mate' would condone the behavior that occurs in an A...nor would they condone the shattering of a family

Well said, YellowRose - those are the kind of words I need to read again and again and again...

Sad Tiger - My thoughts are with you - I think you are handling this exceptionally well and your W is a fool! (Sorry, just MHO!)

My WW is not a fool. (I know you didn't mean anything bad...) She was vulnerable (thanks partly to my actions) and a smooth talking devil came along. She will come around. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

<small>[ July 24, 2002, 07:56 PM: Message edited by: Sad Tiger ]</small>

YellowRose, what did it take for you to 'wake up' to the true nature of your OM?

I know there is nothing I can really do to 'help' my WW along, but I am always looking for ideas!

Sad Tiger

I am very sad and discouraged this morning.

WW is going to a different psychologist today. It is someone recommended to her by a work friend who has been suicidal. (Not the OM.) She had told me that she was seeing a psychiatrist, and I was hoping he might get her onto some medicine. (I am no doctor, but since this WW is not the person I married, I am grasping for straws... hoping against hope that something will snap her out of the OM's spell)

Well, turns out he is a psychologist. I called WW and let her know, and she asked what the difference was. I told her that a psychiatrist is an MD and can prescribe medicine. She said she doesn't need medicine and wouldn't take it.

Also, this morning she said that she would want to seperate soon if her feelings don't change. That she cannot take it much longer. She asked if that was what I wanted. I told her that I don't ever want to seperate. I asked her to try to think about only the bad stuff of OM. She replied that I don't know him. I started to say something, but bit my tongue. (Our agreement is not to start R talk before she goes to work, as she has lots of trouble working after a heavy discussion.) She remarked that I had clammed up, and must be mad. I just told her that I was not mad, just holding my tongue so as not to upset her. I wanted to lay into the OM some more, to tell her what YellowRose said about OMs.

I think that my Plan A is no longer making much headway, but I still think it is too early for Plan B.

I really want to send OM something from get-a-hint.com, but that could start trouble with WW.

Please WWs, tell me anything that helped you snap out of your OM's spell. Anything... I am getting a bit desperate here... <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Sad Tiger,

Don't know if this will make sense or not...the OM's own nature continued to wake me up to his true nature along with time and distance (getting away from his hold on me was key). Even though we will sometimes viciously defend the OP to the BS, please know that we are aware...in the deepest darkest part of ourselves of the fact that the OP's behavior isn't adding up (and we know this during the A usually..not just after it). It is easier to hide this fact..even from ourselves..than admit what a catastrophic mistake we have made..especially when the relationship with the OP still gives us some rewards we enjoy...attention, compliments, feelings of love, etc.

One of the key things..which you are already doing..is giving her every incentive to choose you instead of him. You are not being hateful and retaliatory...believe me...this would have caused great conflict in my heart if my H had treated me as lovingly as you have your wife!! A pattern I have seen in many WS's is that when we are feeling really bad about what we are doing..we lash out at the BS. We dig our heels in and seem to lean towards the OP. This doesn't mean we have reached the decision that they are the best choice.

I know this is completely unfair..but many of us WS's want to have our cake and eat it too...not because we are evil people..but in some part because we are afraid. We are afraid of giving up the OP and going back to the marriage only to find out that is really won't get any better (this is a fear not an actuality) and then we end up divorced with no H and have lost the OP because they probably have 'moved on' by then. The easiest thing would be if the OP moved on to someone else and forced her hand..but that is not likely to happen in your case from what I've read.

The best thing for us WS's is that you stick to your guns about not tolerating the OP being in our lives..and being a 'triangle'. I felt feelings of hatred for my H because he didn't want me even to be friends with the OP. I felt like I was losing everything in order to return to the marriage..why? Because I had no faith it would truly ever change...or get better. Honestly, because of my H's abuse...I really don't have any faith..but I am trying. My newfound faith has been a great motivator for me. I became a christian towards the end of the 'A'. The Holy Spirit is doing his own number inside of me. Do you or your wife have any spiritual/religious beliefs to help you through this?

I also play this game in my head called "Following it through to the end". I take a thought like..."I sure want to fly up and see the OP"..and I follow it to its worst possible outcome...I see myself getting on the plane, flying up there...seeing him..having the momentary thrill of happiness...followed quickly by 'discovery' once again by my H...the anger/hurt...the turmoil...I see myself in divorce court potentially losing custody of my kids...and the hurt in my children's eyes as they find out what I have done...that deters me every time. This is just something I do to keep myself in line...I sure hope it holds...I have no other incentive at this point. My H is nice for a few days..and then talks to me as if he hates my guts. I am numb most days...(it has been 5 or 6 weeks since the final d-day..to answer an earlier question you had)

Also...not sure this is true for your wife..I can only speak for myself..when I use terms like 'brainwashing'..and I resist something greatly..it is usually because it has hit a sore point..and I'm not ready to get real with others or myself. I am sometimes most resistant when others are trying to make me accountable for my own behavior (shame on y'all...hehe)...and I am not wanting to deal with it. It is much easier to pretend I am the victim of everyone else. Victims don't have to take responsibility.

Sad Tiger, if she felt completely ok with her behavior...and what she has done...she would not resist the way she does..and make the comments she has made. She would even go along with stuff like talking to Jennifer just as a lark to prove you wrong. Has she had any depression or other issues that may be clouding everything else? If this info is in your thread..I apologize..I have a sick little girl home and haven't slept well in days so am forgetting things.

Well, this post is becoming a tome so I will leave you with this thought. If the OP was such a great catch..and that is where she knew 100 percent her true happiness and future life would reside..why hasn't she left for good? Just don't let her straddle too long...too much straddling will confuse her even more and is not fair to you.

I will try and email to that addy you gave me later tonight.

Best Wishes to You!

YellowRose

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Even though we will sometimes viciously defend the OP to the BS, please know that we are aware... </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I sure hope so. I said something to this effect to WW, and she didn't reply, so maybe...

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> It is easier to hide this fact..even from ourselves..than admit what a catastrophic mistake we have made.. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Yeah, she gets real defensive and says that it is not my problem if she makes this mistake. Au contraire, actually, since it *does* affect me, it is my problem too.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> You are not being hateful and retaliatory...believe me...this would have caused great conflict in my heart if my H had treated me as lovingly as you have your wife!!
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Oh, she is definately in conflict. I printed out and showed her your last post, actually, and she showed her new counselor today. WW said he said that it would not sink in. I knew that, but I am hoping my wife somewhere inside that fog heard the message.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> The easiest thing would be if the OP moved on to someone else and forced her hand..but that is not likely to happen in your case from what I've read. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Yeah, not likely. The guy supposedly hasn't had but one girlfriend in the last 5 years. WW says it is because he is picky. I say it is because the women are picky. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> The best thing for us WS's is that you stick to your guns about not tolerating the OP being in our lives..and being a 'triangle'. I felt feelings of hatred for my H because he didn't want me even to be friends with the OP.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Yep, I got the dirtiest look from her today when I said that to keep me, she would have to have no contact with him for life. She is mad about that. She cannot be his friend ever. The line was crossed. I will not accept this 'man' being anywhere around.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I became a christian towards the end of the 'A'. The Holy Spirit is doing his own number inside of me. Do you or your wife have any spiritual/religious beliefs to help you through this? </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Congrats, baby Christian! We are nominally Christian, but we are a bit backslidden. WW will certainly not discuss this issue with clergy. I am encouraging her to attend church with me, but I may have to go alone.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I also play this game in my head called "Following it through to the end". I take a thought like..."I sure want to fly up and see the OP"..and I follow it to its worst possible outcome...I see myself getting on the plane, flying up there...seeing him..having the momentary thrill of happiness...followed quickly by 'discovery' once again by my H...the anger/hurt...the turmoil... </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Good idea. I am full of good ideas to help her get over him, but she does not 'want' to get over him right now. I have to quit bashing him too. That is my biggest LB.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I have no other incentive at this point. My H is nice for a few days..and then talks to me as if he hates my guts. I am numb most days...(it has been 5 or 6 weeks since the final d-day..to answer an earlier question you had) </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">It was 6 weeks after D-Day when I had my big blowup, and have been 'good' ever since. The EA had not (and has not) ended, however. I would be tickled pink if my WW were as far along in recovery as you are. Have your BS read SAA, HNHN, and the Mars / Venus books. Have him look into Anti-Depressants as well - they saved my life, and have kept me from LBing my WW.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Also...not sure this is true for your wife..I can only speak for myself..when I use terms like 'brainwashing'..and I resist something greatly..it is usually because it has hit a sore point..and I'm not ready to get real with others or myself. I am sometimes most resistant when others are trying to make me accountable for my own behavior (shame on y'all...hehe)...and I am not wanting to deal with it. It is much easier to pretend I am the victim of everyone else. Victims don't have to take responsibility. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">That is exactly what is going on, I am sure.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Has she had any depression or other issues that may be clouding everything else? </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I think she was depressed before the A, and now is 'artificially' not depressed. My opinion. The Dr. today did not think she is depressed now, just distressed.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I have a sick little girl home and haven't slept well in days so am forgetting things. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I am sorry. I hope she feels better. Thanks for spending all this time replying to my posts!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> If the OP was such a great catch..and that is where she knew 100 percent her true happiness and future life would reside..why hasn't she left for good? </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Exactly. That is what keeps me going on the rough days. Hey, she even moved back in with me.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Just don't let her straddle too long...too much straddling will confuse her even more and is not fair to you.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">That is the tricky part; when to go to Plan B.
She does know that the longer this goes on, the more love I lose, and sooner or later, I will be gone.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I will try and email to that addy you gave me later tonight.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Please do!

Thanks, YellowRose!

Sad Tiger

Mini Update:

I am going to see a psychiatrist about A.D.D. issues. I have long suspected that I have the disorder, but have simply dealt with it.

I got ahold of a book, A.D.D. & Romance - Finding Fulfillment in Love, Sex, & Relationships by Jonathan Scott Halverstadt, M.S. and many things in there really hit home with me.

Everything is status quo with WW. She comes home every night. We cook dinner together and generally have fun. We snuggle and play, but no SF. (No SF since D-Day) She has been a bit more playful and suggestive regarding SF lately, so maybe (hopefully) that will change.

Over the weekend, she was fairly upbeat most of the time. (SF hints too...) After work Monday, she was down somewhat. Thoughtful. Distant. (No SF hints...) Going to sleep she cried a little bit. All I can do is hug her and tell her she is the world to me. It seems to me that seeing the OM at work just sets her back. I wish he would just go away. I could make him go away, but it wouldn't be her choice, so I don't.
This morning, she seemed happier, and snuggled some with me. (Plus a partial SF hint...)

I am using the SF hints as a measure of her feelings towards me at any given time. I know that I should not dwell on any one moment, good or bad, but look at it more like points in a long term graph. The feelings go up and down, but hopefully trend upwards over time...

She has mentioned that a 'real' separation (not to her parents but to her own place) may be what she needs to see if she can/cannot live without me. I don't think this will necessarily mean a Plan B, but I don't like it much. I sure don't want OM to have better access to her. Oh well, whatever it takes to help her get happy inside her own skin.

I sure miss my wife <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

ST

WW just asked me what was 'SF?' She asked if I was trying to figure out how to 'get some p@$$y' from her.

Great. She had snooped and read my last post.

I had her re-read it, and tell me what she thought I meant, and I explained to her what I actually meant.

*Of course* I want to make love to my beautiful wife. The references to SF hints were about me trying to judge how she felt about me at any given time.

I went ahead and let her read some more of my posts. She took it pretty well, and says she is not mad anymore about the post she snooped. She agrees that I have a right to come *somewhere* and vent.

'What is Plan A?' - that is where I do the right things, unlike what I did for the 1st 6 weeks.

Maybe I should switch to DivorceBusters discussion board now... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Oh well... She is being very understanding about this for having so much info dumped on her at once. She continues to surprise me with how well she is dealing with all this.

If only OM would tip his hand soon........

Update:

It has been a pretty good 2 weeks since I posted. Psychiatrist put me on Wellbutrin, so now I am on that as well as Celexa. Whee! My mood is really good these days.

Unfortunately, WW just called from work and sounded very down. She said she had been crying all day. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> I suspect OM has said or done something to push her, but who knows. She said we will talk tonight.

I am of course, apprehensive about whatever it is, but I am in a generally good mindset about all this mess, thanks to the pharmaceuticals, and can handle whatever she says. I keep reminding myself what Pepperband said to Space, "I will not predict the future." Unfortunately, I have a tendency to do just that, and I am imagining the worst. "I'm leaving." "I choose OM." I am afraid that I would want to go to plan Dv if she did that. I don't know if I have the strength to carry on.

Oh well, best suck it up and keep doing the best I can...

ST

I sure miss my wife. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

At this point, the contact with OM outside of work has stopped entirely. I know this for a fact. She is at least trying to work on M. Unfortunately, she is still resisting NC as she "can't bear" not ever seeing him again.

About last night... WW came home early. 1.5 hours early. She was upset because she saw some other women flirting with OM at work. She cannot stand the thought of him finding someone else. She cried and cried as I hugged her.

She did say "thanks for being here for me."

So, the A has mostly stopped, but her feelings remain strong. I suppose I can deal with this as long as it takes. Since I discovered the A before reality set in, it is going to make withdrawl that much harder for her. She is so sure he loves her, and now he has given up. It *almost* would have been better if I had not caught the A so early.

My brother said, "A good player can fake love better than a good guy can do love." She has fallen for his lies, hook line and sinker. He may very well love her, but he is such a loser.

I know this thread is not as interesting as Spacecase's <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> but I will keep updating it anyway, since this is a good place to vent.

ST

"Don't give up what you want the most for what you want at the moment."

<small>[ August 16, 2002, 09:07 AM: Message edited by: Sad Tiger ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Sad Tiger:
<strong>She is at least trying to work on M.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Good Sad Tiger, this is good.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong>Unfortunately, she is still resisting NC as she "can't bear" not ever seeing him again.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">And so early withdrawal begins. This is a stage she will go thru so do exactly what you are doin' - i.e. a good job <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong>She was upset because she saw some other women flirting with OM at work. She cannot stand the thought of him finding someone else.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Such a shame <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Fog and withdrawal again.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong>She cried and cried as I hugged her. She did say "thanks for being here for me."</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Great, very positive. Keep going, it's early days yet.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong>She is so sure he loves her, and now he has given up. It *almost* would have been better if I had not caught the A so early.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I bet he moves on regardless of what she thinks. And no it is always better shorter in my view.

You are doing well, keep it up and importantly take time to look after yourself as this is key. Ben.