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Giiving counseling a chance
#1014116 07/10/02 10:08 AM
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 235
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asgoodasitgets
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Neither by hook nor by crook, coercion or manipulation, I finally had the strength to mean it when I told WH I could really D him if I had to. And the end result was that he agreed to counseling.

So now I have found a counselor who specializes in marriage and our particular issues. My question is this: What do I expect? What do I bring to the table? I know a C doesn't want to take sides or become "triangulated" in the therapy process. I know this isn't about bashing WH or me in terms of the things we have "done wrong" in our marriage. So how can I be prepared for the first session?

Any guidance here would be greatly appreciated.
Re: Giiving counseling a chance
#1014117 07/10/02 11:57 AM
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asgoodasitgets
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Is it my perfume, or what? Aw come on, folks, surely some good MBer has advice on this one?
Re: Giiving counseling a chance
#1014118 07/11/02 12:03 AM
Joined: Dec 1969
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asgoodasitgets,

You've already selected your counselor, so I'd suggest that you ask these questions of him or her. I can certainly share the process of counseling with the Harley's using the MB Phone Counseling---but that's not going to answer these questions for this specific counselor.

Call them...

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
Re: Giiving counseling a chance
#1014119 07/11/02 12:06 AM
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layli Offline
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The best thing to remember is be open minded. When I had my first session with Steve, he brought up some things I had to change and I normally would have been defensive. I might have taken the attitude that, hey, my husbands the one having the affair he has to change. But instead I looked at what I could change and asked my husband to talk to Steve and he agreed.
Good luck,
Keep us posted,
Layli
Re: Giiving counseling a chance
#1014120 07/11/02 12:13 AM
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asgoodasitgets
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Thanks K and Layli. Good advice. I'm prepared to hear that I need to change and I'm prepared to make the effort. I guess that's all I can ask of myself at this point.

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