Hi Siren, and Welcome. I am so glad that your husband has agreed to eliminate all contact and begin to rebuild. This is a huge step in the right direction.
Communication is a key. Let him know that you want to meet his needs and that you will work to do that, but that if he can let you know some things that make him tick it would be helpful.
I think too often we assume that men won't share with us. I don't think they offer too often, but maybe that's because they just think we know. I thought it's was my fault I didn't know what my husband likes to do, etc. Finally I broke down in tears a few weeks ago and told him I just don't and that I need him to help me. He hugged me and said it was ok I didn't know and that he will help me. I mentioned it to him this weekend that he has yet to share that with me and he said it's because he's afraid to feel important to me (I'm the WW). However, he did share some and I'm sure he'll share more as we continue to progress.
Talk to him you might just be surprised. In the interim, for my DH appreciation is a big thing for him. Thanks for doing this, thanks for doing that, etc. Also, he likes to be touched. Not always sexually, but he likes to have me touch his skin when we cuddle or lie on the couch to watch TV. Try some little things like dinner with candles. Or plan a fun night out.
I hope this helps. My best to you, and stick around. The people here are great and have been a tremendous help to me. Take care.
