If you haven't read my story. I originally posted under JFO and have also posted under Plan A/Plan B.

I'm probably just letting my mind think too much today.

I've been thinking about some of the things that WW has told me. The day that I told her that I was moving back in the house, her immediate reaction was negative although she said that she would think about it. She then said that she is happy now. What? Because, I'm not there? She tells me that she has felt like divorcing me for years and the only thing that has held her back is fear of the backlash on our children.

Well there has been no obvious signs of backlash, so she is getting what she wants. Which tells me that in her mind everything is going just as she would like it to be. She told the boys that I was moving out to live with my parents because mommy and daddy weren't getting along like married people should. I was there for that talk and I let her handle it because I felt like it was lying to the children. Daddy was moving out because mommy decided that it was better to have a boyfriend than to face our problems head on and deal with them like two responsible adults. She refuses to go to counseling.

I guess I'm blowing off some steam here.

I won't move back in at this time because the reaction that she had to me telling her that I was put us all the way back at square one.

Has anyone had any luck implementing Plan A from outside your own home. We currently share custody of our children and I have thought of taking them to visit her on the 2,3,& 4 day stretches that they are with me. She works in a resturant and we can go and have dinner with her. I don't know if that is giving her some of her EN or just keeping her "happy" because she is still able to see the boys quite often. She has told me that the boys are one of the only things that I have going for me. I'm afraid if I cater to her through this too much that she will think that this is coming together just as she had wished. She feels like her divorced parents (happened when she was the same age as our boys) get along just great now as friends and that is how she would like us to be.
Neither one of them ever remarried. Her father used to openly carry on with women other than his wife while still married. His wife (when I talked to her about it) said that she really didn't care, because at that point she had carved out her own life and didn't care what he did. WW really didn't have a good marriage role model to follow. Mine have been married for 40yrs now.

Is all of this to be expected talk from her while she is in this fog??

Thanks and God Bless.

Yep... you have to learn to not get caught up in what is said... but rather... watch what is done...

There is a lot of confusion, guilt, emotion etc. swirling around...

The best thing you can do is NOT bring it up... any of it... NO relationship talks and NO A talks until in recovery and you have a recovery plan.

Focus on you. Make a plan for you and follow it. I would check out lotsva's stories. She plan A'd her H while separated... though he left the home and not her... and they had NO contact for most of that year...

Cali

Thanks for hanging in there with me Cali,

I'd like to check out lotsva's stories and did a search for that name and only came up with a few posts. Any ideas on where to find her stuff.

Anyone know of how to find out if a marriage counselor in my area is trained the the MB techniques??

Tahnks and God Bless

Biscayne:

try "lostva"