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Two years ago today at 8:10pm the police came to my door. From that moment on my life has changed, and will never be the same. I woke up thinking about it, I can't shake it out of my mind, and I'm having a he11 of a day.
To make matters even happier, I'm off to the lawyer for a 1:30.
E
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jtw, I am sorry about your day and the anniversary of your H's accident. Maybe the lawyer won't be so bad!! Keep a strong upper lip, (I know that you ussually do)it's hard at times, but if let ourselves get down it takes that much more work to get back up. Take care, and I will say a prayer for a better day for you!! Dawn <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
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{{{{{{{{{Elizabeth}}}}}}}}}
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Eliz, I dont know if you feel like talking about it... but I'm sorry I never knew.. what kind of accident? I am sorry you are thinking about it.. maybe telling about it will help- if not, please don't tell here. I am truly sorry... I had a car accident that changed my life and led to my h's A... me getting sick, on meds and gaining weight and being in bed all the time.. YUCK! Anyway, good health can come back.... I am much better now! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> Improving! Hugs, HONEY
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Thanks for the support folks. For Honey and the folks that don't know the saga of [censored] accident, I'll run it again. It will be good for me to tell it and get it out again. Sadly Honey, his health will never return. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> I am glad that you are better though. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> Scott was in a suburb of Utah on business doing a final inspection of a Sysco building. We were at home in Milwaukee, WI. On July 12, 2000 Scott was in a scissor lift on a construction site 4 1/2 stories above a parking lot. The hydrolic outriggers that held the lift in place failed and retracted into the lift base on the side away from the building. The lift went down. He was flown by the Flight for Life to University of Utah Hospital and Trauma Center. He used 26 units of blood in the first day. He was placed on life support right away. I was busy with the kids that day, looking for the perfect poster to frame for our bathroom and at Pier One getting some cute towel racks there. We just finished remodeling our downstairs bath, and I wanted it to be perfect when Scott came home the next day. The police rang the doorbell at 8:10pm and asked if I was Louis Scott Wilkie's wife. They said that there had been an accident, but that they would find out the detials for me as soon as we called some friends or family members to come here for support. They don't do it like the movies. The young male police officer played with the kids, and the young female started calling from my address book. When our neighbors and good friends who recently moved cross town, but came within minutes were there the woman called the station and got the information. Scott had been injured at work and was at the University Hospital, the work secretary would make flight plans for me and she wrote down the number, little information was avalable regarding his condition. While the officer was on the phone to the station my neighbor was calling my SDad on the cell, SDad sent my sis and her fiancee up - hour and 10 min drive in 42 mins. They took the children and made flight plans with secretary. First flight to Salt Lake City was very early next morning from O'Hare. Mom and SDad live in Chicago, they would take Chris, Sis would go with me and bring baby Amanda who was still nursing. I would get some clothes together and take an hour to get my thoughts calm and drive to Chicago on my own. I called my cousin the Doctor in New York City and woke her up. She called the Trauma Surgeon and got more information, it didn't look good. 25% chance of survival. Fast forward to list of injuries: Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI), shattered scapula, shattered all ribs on left, shattered left elbow, shattered small area of pelvis, broken/fractured pelvis, twisted and shifted tailbone, L1 - L5 broken spinal and transverse processes, spinal cord damage between C3 - C4, right ribs some broken or shattered, both lungs punctured and (forgot the word - deflated), lacerated spleen, internal bleeding, internal organ bruising, and there are a bunch more but I'm starting to depress myself here.... They encouraged me to sign a DNR and discontinue life support, but with a 6 & 2 year old I just couldn't. None of his family will care for him. That leaves me. I take care of the man who betrayed me over and over. The one who called me a cun... The one who told me I was fat. The one who told me that I was a terrible Mother. The man who decided I was not good enough to be his wife must now depend on me for his very life. I control his medications for seizures, for pain, for everything. I drive him to his Doctor appointments and keep track of them. I clean his house when there is no home health. I get on the social workers back. I deal with work comp. I deal with the lawyers. I deal with the court and the judge because of his mental illness committment. I am the one who laid next to him in bed night after night after the accident and said "It doesn't matter honey, I love you" when he would lose control of his bladder and pee on me. OK, I think I am done now. Expect more later. E
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{{{{{{{{{Elizabeth}}}}}}}}} {{{{{{{{{Elizabeth}}}}}}}}} {{{{{{{{{Elizabeth}}}}}}}}} {{{{{{{{{Elizabeth}}}}}}}}} {{{{{{{{{Elizabeth}}}}}}}}} {{{{{{{{{Elizabeth}}}}}}}}} <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />
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Honey, I am new to the MB site and just read about your H and his accident. I just wanted to say that you are an incredibly strong woman and Scott is lucky that he has you. Although my story is different, I too have referred to my H as [censored] on more than one occasion. I have even logged his ATM withdrawals as Cash-[censored]. I suspect my H is having an A and am probably getting ready for the big D. I have two kids a boy and a girl 8 and 3 and I worry how they are going to be affected by this the most. They already know that I am unhappy, it's hard not to cry on occasion, but enough about me. The world needs more people like you, caring, responsible, loyal, and forgiving. If you have made it though all of this, you can handle anything. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
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Dear E,
Love in action is stronger than any ill-fated fantasy. U show your love by action. Your H did do one thing right in his life, he chose you. Maybe later he made some very bad choices but give him credit for choosing you. Then you have your beautful children.
E, you are a beautiful woman inside and out.
We saw Lilo and Stitch and was reminded of the hawaiian word for family: O'hana. U never leave the ones you love.
hugz,
L.
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Thank you so much Knewjie.
Nice to meet you FM.
My Dear O, thank you.
Off for the weekend.
E
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Hi E... just cking in... I am so sorry... I am thinking the As were before.. the accident.. and after too? sounds like he is too ill?
I am so sorry. It sounds like a living nightmare.
You still help him?
Honey
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WOW................................... Just gotta pick my jaw up off the floor..................................................................................... Ok, wow! I had no idea. Gee, this is what you only read about. Youre incredible!!! What an awesome person you are! ((((((((((((LIZ)))))))))))))))) Sleep well!!! Dancer <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />
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E,
I just wanted to check in and see how you are doing.
Anything we can do for you?
Hugs and prayers,
K
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May I just say that I have the most fabulous group of friends in the world? And they are right here in front of me. Honey, his family has abandoned him, I am all he has. If I didn't care for him he would be left to the state. I couldn't do that to the kids. There are times when he is relatively lucid. He functions like a mildly retarded person. You almost wouldn't notice if you didn't talk to him much. He has gone to bars since the accident and picked up women. He tells them of his big lawsuit (nonexistent) and how he will soon be a millionaire. He's actually gotten some action that way. Nice. Now because his sexual behavior became extreme and dangerous, he is on medication that inhibits his sexuality. All part of the brain injury. Dancer, Deep breaths sweetheart, you look like you are in shock. I'm not awesome, I bet all of you would act the same if you were in my spot. It just is the pits to be in my spot sometimes. Thanks Knewjie, I'm doing great. I got past that day, and am much better. That one day was so horrible. I can remember what I was doing every second, and even though the next months were a blur that first day sticks in my head for some stupid reason. Like one of those reoccuring nightmares. Screaming and can't wake up... My weekend was full of family, love, and fun. My family reunion picnic, a birthday party, and today we had Sunday brunch to celebrate my Sisters one year wedding anniversary. I'm purrrrfectly fine. But, there's always a but... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> [censored] has 2 surgeries coming up, one to fuse L4 & L5 and one to remove his tailbone. And I'll bet you a buck I'll be back in a year with a 3 year from the accident thread. Love you guys with all my heart, E <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
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E, I just love updates like that! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> When the time comes next year, we'll still be here with hugs, love, prayers and whatever else you need. Maybe next year, we could be fishing! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Love ya, K
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Hi E, Oh my ... G! I am so sorry... he really does have a brain injury.. .you dont live with bhead do you? I have to chuckle it reminds me of that stupid little texas cartoon tv show.. or maybe it is beevis and bthead... great name E! I am so sorry for your loss... he is truly ill and you can blame that so much for his loss..
What wonderful parents he must have.. hehe@ just kidding... but that is pathetic.
I am sorry he is so terribly gone, and that you are there to deal with it.. good for you for divorcing him , the cheater@ I am so sick over mean who cheat.
Honey
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Elizabeth. I think you kick [censored]. For many reasons. But, near the top of the list,for me,is this. </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Imagine me dragging Patrick the Starfish from SpongeBob SquarePants in a wagon behind me for the rest of my life. Now you have met [censored].</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I want my next wife to be like you. Um, why not sue? <small>[ July 14, 2002, 09:12 PM: Message edited by: Family Man ]</small>
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Family Man, Thanks! Better to kick it than to kiss it! I wish we could sue. With a family full of ambulance chasers, Daddy included, it would be a pretty sweet deal without having to pay out the 1/3 - but... unfortunately the company that manufactured the lift went bankrupt. There is no legal recourse. None. We will eventually have a settlement from Workmans Comp, but it won't be anything near what the product liability suit might have brought. Talk about a bummer. </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I want my next wife to be like you. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I'm booked for August, but I do still have some openings in September. I enjoy long walks, expensive dinners, and fine jewelry. Christopher has been eyeing the PS2, and Amanda likes Barbie Dolls. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> Knewjie, As long as you put on the worm and take the fish off, I'm there. Even better, why don't we just sit by the water and drink beer? Honey, [censored] lives in a place with old people and people like him. And, a few assorted strange people. E
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Dear E, Howz it girl??? U are one strong woman! Did I just hear a proposal from FM? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> It takes a certain character with tremendous strength to endure visitng and living at those centers. My grandmother had to spend her last few months in a care home because the doctor would not allow us to care for her towards the end. It was understandable but still very hard place for her to be. Yet my grandma who had full control of her facilities up til the end, went without a single gripe. I loved her dearly and miss her sooo much. Those places taught me to appreciate what we have now and if someone from those places need our help, to be caring enough to help them out where we can. We have a family friend who was paralyzed by surgeons on a routine appendectomy, she lives in those care homes and types with a pencil in her mouth (her only means of communication). She has been this way for almost 20 years. Yet her outlook on life is just awesome. E, I know you are doing more than you have let us know. Please know that your great efforts have not gone unnoticed. Hugz, L.
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong>Originally posted by justthewife: Knewjie, As long as you put on the worm and take the fish off, I'm there. Even better, why don't we just sit by the water and drink beer?</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">E, Hey, that does sound even better! We can take your dogs and our beagles. Oops! Now I'm day dreaming about it. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Back to work with me! K
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Sweet L, Yes, a proposal, one of many these days. I can't walk down the street without men just dropping at the sight of my great and awesome beauty and proposing on the spot. They offer their yachts, their mansions, their millions. Sadly I turn them all down because.... (I'm lying). One of these days I'm hoping that a fellow takes pity on me and takes me out on a pseudo date to McDonalds. The story about your paralyzed friend is amazing. It is true though that one can have a positive outlook even though things look so bleak. Sad to say even though [censored] has so much to be thankful for he spends much of his time throwing himself a pity party. It's put him in the rubber walled room more than once. Every time I'm in too deep I holler for help. Every single time. I have no pride issues, no problems calling in a team of therapists, and a wonderful family that smothers me with support. I also have a great support team that is on call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. I can always count on someone to pat me on the head and tell me it will all be ok. I just go to www.MarriageBuilders.com <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> Knewjie, We're all set. Furry friends, cold beer, seats by the water. I have the sunscreen, you bring the deep woods off. Love you all, E
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