First of all, thank you to everyone who posted a response to Contacting the OW. It helped me more than you can know. My husband told me for months during my pregnancy that he was in love with a subordinate of his at work and that he wanted to leave me for her (OUCH!)On top of all the lies he told me to cover up the relationship, he said he did it all to protect her [job], fearing that I would make a stink and get her fired. I still feel an unbelievable amount of resentment about being made the third party in my own marriage and about the fact that nothing was done during this 9 month relationship to protect ME. The nerve of him... I'M his wife, not her, and his first obligation should have been to protect what he and I had together. Anyway, I don't think anything hurt worse than being told that he had pretty much replaced what he and I had spent 9 years building with something he'd been involved in for 9 months... and that he was IN LOVE WITH HER (YUCK!) Even now that he's home and working on our marriage I cant help but wonder if he realizes that this could not possibly have been LOVE, but a misdirected feeling brought about by the fact that I (the woman he really loves) wasn't meeting an emotional need. Are WHs ever able to say this to their wives? And how do they really feel about all the pain and humiliation that their betrayal and lies have caused their Ws?