I think my WH takes the cake. I have found out so much more than just the A. Basicly from day one he has been lying to me. He has been hiding this other person with lies upon lies upon lies. I found out he has people after him because he owes money in every direction. Money I never knew about. People want him dead. The police are questioning people for names. He is one of the top names. All of that has to do with steroids. He does them and he deals them. He is doing bad, bad business everywhere. I found out there were others before the A. Not too sure about that, but I wouldnt put anything past him. The entire A in it self it completely sick and twisted. It is like he was truly living a double life and wanted our baby with OW. Haveing a little family w/her. I found out he lies to her just as much. I found out that he was always known as a compulsive lier. He basicly burned every single person he knew. I guess all of this had to catch up to him one day. Its just sad that our little baby was brought into this. And my 10 year old knows hes with another woman. Its just awful they were brought into this.

So what do you guys think? Do I have one of the extreme WH's? I feel like I do . And it makes me feel like I would be an idiot if I wanted be with him. I think the best thing for the kids and I, is to move on. We dont deserve this. And I cant wait until God gives him what he deserves. Believe me I would love to be the one but I know God will take care of him. And her.

We are stuck together for now. Any advise on how to put up with him?

PI

There are definatly far more deep seated issues than just an affair going on here. Unless something happens that would bring him around to look at ALL those issues, you could Plan anything and it probably wouldn't make much of an impact except to push him to hide things differently. My opinion would be to seek out a good lawyer to protect you and your family. You don't want to part of his fallout.

Have you read this book?

THE TEN STUPID THINGS WOMEN DO TO MESS UP THEIR LIVES ... it's written by "Dr. Laura" Schlessinger, of talk-show radio fame.

Putting aside opinions about Dr. Laura herself ... this book may contain some answers for you .... especially if you realize you are married to a man who has pathological personality tendencies as well as a history of engaging in dangerous and criminal activities.

YOUR OWN pathology (one that keeps you loyally connected to such a "dangerous" person) may be revealed to you while you read this book. YOUR OWN pathology is the ONLY thing you can change about this situation. You have ZERO power to effect changes in your H. NONE. Not now, not next week, not next year .... NEVER. This is the way he will be for the rest of his life. Can you accept this?

Imagine one of your children as an adult ... and he/she remains faithful and loyal to a marriage where there had NEVER BEEN honesty or respect ... WHAT would you advise that child to do?

Pepper <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

PI;
I think you have the right idea; get away as fast and as far as you can. Sometimes there are situations that just have no solutions and when we face them, however much it may hurt, we have to cut our losses and make the best of it we can.

I am truly sorry to hear you are in such an awful situation, but honestly, there is NOTHING you can do except protect yourself and your child. Do it!

P I,

WOW! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> You have quite the pickle of a situation with the WH. As someone posted prior.." some deep-rooted issues here".

Your WH probably won't wake-up and smell the coffee till he "hits the wall" loses everything that cared about him, thrown in jail, etc.

WH is sowing some bad seeds and will reap the consequences of this. Maybe not right now, but I believe it will happen sooner or later.

It's really a shame that he is so selfish that he can't see what he is doing to his children, and to you too!

My prayers for you and your children.

-ND