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Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 921
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Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 921 |
After reading a poll here and having several converstaions this weekend I have noticed what I think might be a pattern. EMA's at the 10-year mark.
Is it just me or have other's notived that too. What happens at 10 years?
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Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 2,909
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Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 2,909 |
apathy instead of empathy.
over-worked and undervalued.
the kids are little... money's a stress... work's a stress... everything's a stress.
you wonder what happened to 'happily ever after?'
most people don't know what to 'really' expect in marriage or a relationship... and start 'expecting' too much and taking to much for-granted... and taking... and taking... and taking...
The SELFISH bug hatches.
Cali
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 3,454
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 3,454 |
Well I know for us it was about the fact that neither of us knew how to be married.
So 10 years was about the limit of our endurance for unmet needs and lovebusters galore.
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Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 172
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Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 172 |
d-day was 2 days before the birth of third child and 11 days before 9 year anniversary. Basically we married very young and were not prepared for the marriage to become an adult relationship after "playing house" for so long.
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Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 3,661
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Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 3,661 |
I noticed that too. And even though we were MARRIED 7 years at D-day, we had been together for 10.
I agree with Cali's ideas.
Another thought is perhaps entering the 30's (age).
And the next highest category is marriages at the 20 yr-mark... so that's the 20 year itch. Maybe the same reason... entering the 40's.
Facing a new "decade" of life - people questionning their life - it's meaning - their fulfillment.
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 1,145
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 1,145 |
My FWH's first affair started the year of our 5th anniversary; H's 2nd A and my affair started the year of our 10th anniversary; H's "inappropriate friendship (which could have ended up being PA #3)began a few months after our 15th anniversary... geez, a pattern. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />
I'm guess I'm no longer concerned about an affair happening in year 20, etc...hopefully we've completely addressed and fixed the problems that led to the affairs - finally. If H has another affair after all we've gone thru, after all the wonderful conversations we've had lately, and all the great changes we've made over the last year, then he's a total jerk and doesn't deserve me anyway. I just don't see it happening ... UNLESS we forget to keep our relationship our #1 priority (right after our relationships with God).
I have noticed the same pattern with people I know of. I agree with what Cali said, too.
Lori
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