Hi to you all, well today I feel very down....
Went to the bar last nite & H was there I didn't go over & talk to him right away but after a while i did, I just said hi how are you he said good, never asked how i was doing which hurt me a bit. I was acting happy & didn't let on that I felt a nervous wreck I stood & laughed & joked with him for a couple of mins then went & sat back down with my friend. When I talked to him I looked right into his eyes I guess I was looking for something I don't know what, when I left i went round & said goodbye to everyone & h had his back 2 me so i poked him gently in the ribs & said bye he just smiled. When in the bar my friend went up to h & said boy you look smart H gave her some reply that i couldn't hear but i heard my friend say I don't want to hear that they were jokin about something he said of course my mind went into top gear thinking all sorts of things as you do.
While i was there my friend was talking about her new grandaughter & how her son was very good helping & I said well when our kids were tiny H used to change their nappies etc & took them out with him which was a great help, I hope he heard what i saidhopefully some praise coming from my mouth had some effect.
Anyway the time was not right to tell H how i miss him so will leave that for another opportunity if i get one.
Was having my lunch break at a cafe today & who should drive past but H & 2 other people in the truck with him I know one was OW but not sure who the other one was that made me feel very sad. Hope I feel better tommorow I am just so lonely here I work all day then come home at night to a cold house have my dinner 7 go 2 bed there is no time for anything else am working 6 days a week to keep myself busy & try & get thru this. H has this "friend" who I now call OW to talk to & I have no one so I get on here which is the best thing to do. OK must get some sleep catchya all later...... <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />
