Just remembered youre an aussie and want to c how youre doing - youre still in Queensland right???

Dancer

<small>[ July 19, 2002, 07:01 PM: Message edited by: Dancer ]</small>

bump

Bumping again

Hi Dancer,

Sorry I didn't see your posts, they must've slipped past my eyes before.

I'm still in QLD, and still in Plan B. It's been over a year since WH started his 'friendship' with Sluttilla. She has since moved back to her home country, but they are still in frequent phone contact. WH and I have not spoken for almost a year, and it's been months since his last email. Mind you, his emails are one liners about financial stuff, and totally impersonal.

Right now I'm feeling pretty blah, as I've been speaking with a lawyer about settlement. Divorce has not been mentioned by WH, but that's regarded as a seperate matter from settlement.

Someone informed me that WH is hoping to sell our house (in his name only) from under me, and use the money to move to the country Sluttilla lives. WH has not been supporting me financially, I suspect he's quite capable of making me homeless. To protect my share of the house and finances, I am forced to use the law to get a settlement. This does not sit well with me, I feel very conflicted and depressed about it.

Generally I'm going along with life the best I can. I think it helps a lot to not have to deal with WH, alas I do that in my dreams. I'm not interested in taking WH back, I don't have the energy to cope with years of recovery. My family is very supportive and kind to me, which helps a lot.

How are you doing?

Evensong

Hope you don't mind my butting in,

You have to do what you have to to do protect your interests legally.

Here in the US, the state I live in, it does not matter who's name the house is in. Once you get married, it belongs to both, regardless of what the title says. I found that out when my sisters and brother and I inherited the family house. Those of us who are M, our portion also belonged to the spouse. I take it, that it does not work that way where you are?

Great to hear from you - you dear thing, youre under alot of stress. What do you do to release it all? I thought maybe you didnt come to MB anymore.

Ive posted a couple of things on here the past few days that reflect where Im at, but of course next week could be another story.

Im feeling really down and lonely. H came to get our little one this morning and I wasnt my usual chirpy self, which he noticed and asked about. He thinks Im angry that hes done something wrong and wanted to discuss it. Fact is, I just feel too sad at the moment, whats there to discuss? Why bother? Hes probably after a fight or wants to try and prove himself to me. I guess you could say Im in Plan A of a sort, but right now I care less.

How can your H get the money from the house in his name? He may not be filing for D as its so expensive. Youre doing really well despite everything, you seem ok. Are you?

Dancer

Hi Sue,

The house does legally belong to us both, it's regarded as a marital asset. Since it's only his name on the deed though, he could sneakily try to sell it without my prior knowledge. Sure I could then take him to court to attempt to get the sale reversed, but if he's gone overseas with the money (to the Czech Republic) it would be very difficult and costly.

G'day again Dancer,

Thanks for your concern and posts, I do read here twice a day but my mind is a sieve and my memory shot. Due to the Chronic Fatigue Syndrome I can't exercise to release stress, it's no fun - I wish I was able to go swimming or something. I've been listening to music a lot as a distraction, my latest favourite is the Rocky Horror Picture Show CD. Before all this mess I used to listen to classical music mainly, but that's too much of a trigger now. It helps too to fill the house with the sound of human voices, even if it's only from a CD.

I'm so sorry to hear you're down and lonely, I'll join you in the being down bit. It's a struggle to not slip into deep depression at times. My animals and family stop me from feeling lonely too often, but I do miss having a mate to share life with. I know what you mean about not feeling like discussing something with your husband. Sometimes I wonder what I would do if my WH wanted to talk to me, and I feel the same way. My attitude is that there's no point in it unless it contributes positively to my life and wellbeing. Of course there are no children involved, it's not so easy for you.

Evensong

ps Dancer, I just read some of your other posts. I feel the way you do at times, it's horrible and I really struggle. The feelings do pass for me, and it's a great relief when I'm on a more even keel. Still, it's a rolercoaster ride and I just have to wait until it all evens out.

<small>[ July 19, 2002, 08:47 PM: Message edited by: Evensong ]</small>

Evensong

H dropped off our little one and I tried to explain why I was sad and he basically walked out without hearing what I had to say. It hurt and I knew he would take it the wrong way. I just wish he would give me space and not get offended at every little thing. And that when I do want to discuss things that he would not be rude about my feelings. I guess Im foolish to try, hes not really interested in my feelings is he? All I want is to clear the air and go to bed not cranky that hes cranky.

So you guys have no kids, that would make things easier? Im glad about the house thing - it'll work out. If you end up homeless you can come and live with me and my little one - he'll bring plenty of laughs out of you! Good therapy too, but I promise he wont give you too much laughing exercise!

Dancer <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />