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#1014926 07/15/02 01:18 PM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 2
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Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 2
Hi everyone,
I am new to board and tried to post this earlier, so I hope this does not post twice. Please bear with me while I share my story. I have been married for 18 years, and have three children. About a year ago my H had an affair with a co-worker that began with him moving out of the house, then moved back in a month later. If Feb, I kicked him out because the affair was continuing. We went to counseling, and at the end of June he moved back home. He had told me in Feb that he had been with two other women when he was traveling with this job, but had been impotent during the encounter, due to guilty feelings on his part. Recently he confessed that he had not been impotent with these women, so he lied to me. Ten years into our marriage I had a brief affair. For years my H threw my moral inferiority in my face, and told me repeatedly that he had never had sex with another woman during our marriage. I am so angry because he rubbed my nose it it for years. I need some insight and feedback on this situation. I am really angry and resentful, and don't know what to do with this problem. Thanks for reading my post.

gf

#1014927 07/15/02 01:33 PM
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 635
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Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 635
Hello. I am so sorry you are going through this. I'm sure you will find the people here are great and will offer much support and feedback.

Now, my thoughts - Sounds to me like he used this to throw you off his trail and to justify his own shortcomings in the marriage. Your feelings, pain, anger, etc. are real and justified.

That said, I want to assure you that it doesn't appear all is lost. Apparently there was something wrong in the R that allowed both of you to stray. The key is that it is all out in the open now and, if you both choose to, that is a good starting point for recovery.

I recommend that you go into counseling individually and/or together. Read the information here and post all you need to. There are many success stories as well as others in your shoes (sad to say). There is a lot to be learned about affairs and why and how they happen.

What you need to do is ask yourself if you love your husband and still want to be married to him. If you answer yes to both, then you are at the start of a long hard road, but one that is well worth it.

I hope this helps some. My best to you. Take care.


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