All the signs are there. I don't know how to handle this. She's been married to my father for 33 years (in August). She has this friend from work who I think she is having an affair with. At least an EA, maybe PA. This is what I have seen:

My sister checked my mom's cell phone bill and there were several hours of talk to him. There are calls at 3 and 4 in the morning from the beach. My sis, mom & my BIL went to the beach. She talked to him all the way to the beach. Then told my sister she was talking to my dad. Then my sis finds the cell phone bill with the truth.

Also... my mom had my BIL record a new msg on her cell phone voice mail. I asked her why, she told me she got a few weird calls.

My mom told my sister that "John" has not slept with his wife in at least a year.

She usually wears granny panties but just bought an entire new wardrobe of sexier, prettier panties.

She went out last Saturday night to a race and told everyone not to tell his wife.

She has started tanning, getting her nails & toes done, started dressing sexier...

She goes to lunch with him a lot.

She emails him a lot.

My dad doesn't like it. She gets PO-ed at my dad because he doesn't like it. Seems my dad can't do anything right in her eyes.

Today I had a voice mail at work. Apparently she didn't know but she accidently called my work number and didn't know the phone was on. I heard him in the car. Then I heard her talk to. Then it cut off. I asked her if she had a good lunch. She said yes.

Last week no one could find her at work. I told the lady that answered the phone it's her daughter and I need to speak with her. She said "Well she was supposed to be back by now. Try her on her cell". Well... later the next day my mom casually mentioned that "I don't know why work told everyone they didn't know where I was. They knew that". I didn't ask anything about it. She offered an explanation.

Am I overreacting? And if not what can I do to help diffuse the situation? I believe she has her rose-colored glasses on. And I would hate to see her screw up her marriage.

This man "John" makes me sick! I don't EVER want to see him. It's so disgusting.

Oh yeah... one more thing. When we all went out for my dad's birthday dinner, he & his wife came. This entire situation sickens me.

If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck....

So what are you thinking about doing about it? You and your mom have had troubles in the past...do you want to rock that boat again?

My best advice is to calm down and think very hard about what to do, if anything. You don't want to approach the subject while you're so emotional.

Oh Clearview, I am so sorry. I have to agree with Hope, you have to calm down and think clearly on how to handle this.

Yes, I have to agree, it sure seems like ALL the signs are there. Has your dad shown any concern of this? Maybe you and your dad could talk about it and what he might do to work on him and try to show your mom what she is missing there. Also, is it possible to talk to your sister about it? Obviously she has a concern in it, since she checked the phone bill. Could she possibly talk to your mom more productively?

Oh, I am so sorry your family is going through this. Makes you just want to call "John" and tell him to back off. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

I hope this helps in some way. Try to relax. Take care, and keep us posted on you and your family. My best to you.

Hope, My mother and I have actually worked everything out. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Our relationship is going great!!!

You know I have some very serious issues with mu father BUT I still do not think this is a good situation.

I want to tell my mom in a non-accusing and non-judgemental way that she is playing with fire. I feel like that as her daughter I have a responsibility to try to do what's best for her. I think she is making a HUGE mistake and as much as I can't stand the thought of my father at times, he isn't the only one that's in line to get hurt. The OM has a wife... they have children. My mom has ALWAYS cherished her family. I have NEVER EVER seen/heard her lie until now. What a mess!

All in all, I'm doing well these days. Hope, see my other post... (different situation).

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=8;t=011059

[QUOTE]Originally posted by tutter13:
<strong>Has your dad shown any concern of this? </strong>

Yes he has.
<strong>Maybe you and your dad could talk about it and what he might do to work on him and try to show your mom what she is missing there.</strong>

Not possible. I don't like talking to him.

<strong>Also, is it possible to talk to your sister about it? Obviously she has a concern in it, since she checked the phone bill. Could she possibly talk to your mom more productively? </strong>

Oh I really don't know. My mom is the kind of person that sees things HER way and no other way.

<strong>Makes you just want to call "John" and tell him to back off.</strong>

YES I WANT TO VERY BADLY.

Thank you Tutter. I am doing OK. I appreciate your concern.

Yuck ... this is a very tough spot for you ... I am so sorry.

Unfortunately, it looks as though some sort of hankey-pankey is going on. Secrets secrets secrets .... not good.

What do you think you're going to do? Want to buy your mother a book about affairs?

(((( CLEAR ))))

Pepper <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

Pepper, what an excellent idea. I may do that. Maybe I could somehow send her to this site.

Ooh... I'll just send her a link. She was complaining about my dad. I asked her if she had tried to talk to him. She said no. Maybe the next time she complains then I will have the opportunity to mention MB.