Hi

I haven't been posting for a while.
Things started going better from the end of Jan. I felt stronger after plan B. In May H was talking about buying a house together.

The last three weeks have been difficult. H started distancing again. I get suspicous immediately, it has so often been an indication something else is going on.
Either he's back with the OW (less likely) or there's a strong possibility he's got a new OW. I found out about H's date while he was staying with us for a week.Confronted him about it. H said it wasn't OW. So there is/was? OW#2.
I am not sure and it drives me crazy, not knowing...

I feel very hurt and used by him once again. H needed to move out from his house and I helped him with packing and cleaning, just to find myself walked out on again in the end. I told him I am not into this non committment, while he's sleeping with me, he's same time dating others.
I kept my boundaries, and looks like I lost him again. I don't think he was ready, he's still looking all over the fences.

I was just thinking, I haven't really told H I still love him for a long time now. I think the last time I wrote it in my plan B letter. He knows I don't want a D and want the marriage and family back. I feel I am on the edge to fall back into plan B. Every time I see him I face an another rejection.I stay calm but it's killing me inside. Should I send him a message? Will it make him run even harder? Will he take me for granted and see it as pursueing? I am struggling not to blow up about the possible new OW. H is still very polite when he sees me. Asks how I am and just this morning when he rang about the kids wished me a good day etc. None of that nastiness when it all started with OW#1. I am confused...

What should I do??!!!
Any suggestions?

All I can say is go with your heart. If he runs, then he wasn't worth trying to keep.

Thanks HS,

I decided to send a message, and did it on Friday. H came for a quick visit and left me feeling rejected once again. Too much for me, I sent him a text message telling, I want to go back to plan B.This is too painful for me. I still love him and want him back. But I let him go now.
Up to him now. No word yet, I am not disappointed, never expected anything.

It was hard to do, but I am already feeling relieved, he's not coming and going, and messing mine and the kids life. I miss him and know this could be the end of the M. I could D him in the end of September. I am not ready for it yet, not when I still love him. I'll see how I feel in two months.