The cat is completely out of the bag. My WW has lost her job due to the A. Her place of employment also contacted the OM's W and talked to her, so I guess that she now knows what is going on.

I came back to my place the night of my WW's firing. I spent the afternoon, evening with her. Difficult for me, because it's obvious that she is more concerned with the welfare of OM than with me. OM did not get fired. But WW said that he would quit his job anyway.

When I came back to my place, OM's telephone number was listed on my caller ID. I don't know if it was him or his wife trying to contact me, or my wife. I really don't believe that he would try to contact me. Our phone number is unpublished so maybe he was trying to call my W. But I would think that my W has already given him the number to our house by now. I would think that it must be OM's wife. Why would she be trying to call. And would she be trying to call me or my W?

At any rate, should I try contacting OM's W now that this is all in the open? If I did, I think that I would suggest that if she wanted her M to work that she may want to read SAA. It may bring her WH and her back together and lessen the relationship that OM and my WW have with each other.

Should I just leave this whole phone contact alone and leave all of this up to God and quit trying to interfere with things myself? I did promise myself before not to contact OM or his wife and let God take care of that, and He certainly has.

I so desperately want to do something constructive, I'm just not sure if this would be or not.

Forgive my rambling. It's 4 am and I couldn't go back to sleep.

Thank you and God Bless.

<small>[ July 18, 2002, 04:38 PM: Message edited by: Biscayne ]</small>

Biscyne,
I'm up too. Why bother? OMs wife already knows, right? Besides, you have the opp to look like the bigger, deeper person here. If you contact OMs W that will just give him a reason to contact your WW. Take advantage of the fact that he's probabaly talking til he's blue in the face to his own W and not yours. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> I pray that God gives you the wisdom to do what's right. If it were me, I would have a hard time finding a genuine motivation. I think I'd be doing it to control the situation (which you say you've already given to God) and not to better my marriage or improve myself.

Besides, if you don't, your W will wonder why! Let her wonder what you're up to for a change!

I agree, I would just let God handle it. Let her/him call on your phone again, and if you are there answer it. Otherwise, let it be, the betrayed wife now knows the situation, and therefore let them work it out. Also, if either one of them were to call again and want to talk to you, you need to have a plan of words of what you would say. Let them ask the questions, and if you want to answer do, and if not say so.

Why in the H**L did I get my hopes up?!?

WW got fired over this EA (at least she keeps calling OM her friend, although she won't lose him over us) and that still didn't get it through her head that this is wrong.

Picked up the boys from camp today and they told me what a good time they had going to watch the OM play frisbee yesterday.

No wonder there was no one home when I called to tell them good night.

D****it, D****it, D****it! Why did I let myself think that this whole getting fired and putting our house in jeaporady would have been a wake up call for her. D**n, emotional rollercoaster.

Had tears in her eyes this morning telling me that she had to call and talk to her father today, because he is upset and worried over the fact that she lost her job. I'm so tempted to call him and tell him to let her struggle this one out rather than have him swing in like her white knight. He lives during the summer months about 1800 miles away. I know that it wouldn't do any good to talk to him. I remember reading that you shouldn't try to get the WS's family on your side.

I'd like to tell her father that his little angel lost her job because she thought it was ok to have this "Friend". I'm sure she will give some excuse to him to make herself seem like the victim.

I am so tempted to contact OM's W, like I wanted to earlier to find out what is going on in her mind.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!

Needed to vent. God never gives us more than we can handle. Well, I'm certainly at the brink right now.

Someone please tell me how to or not to approach this with the WW. She has already made it clear from deep in the fog that she won't lose him over us. Do I just keep my mouth shut, or what?

Thank you and God Bless.

<small>[ July 18, 2002, 04:40 PM: Message edited by: Biscayne ]</small>

Biscayne,
I don't see any reason to NOT call her. At the very worst she would reject your contact, at the very best, you could aide each other in working on your respective marriages. She probably doesn't have the resources you do and would appreciate the lead to Marriage Builders. You could also compare notes to see if she knows what you do and vice versa. It would be a potential additional aide in protecting both your interests.

MelodyLane,

This was kind of my thought also. I'm not sure how to contact her unless I call their house and I don't want my # to be on their caller ID. I had the same feeling that you did, as far as me directing her in this direction if she wished to save her M. However, how do I respond if she is hostile about the whole thing?

However I would be concerned that if the WS's were to learn of our communication it would not go over well at all.

I had told WW before not to ask me to watch our boys when she wanted to go out with him. However in light of her going somewhere with him and with our boys, I feel like telling her that if she wants to continue to see him that I don't want that to be in front of our boys. Say what she wants about friend or whatever. It is never ok for a married person to spend time together with someone of the opposite sex. Especially with things the way they are between us right now, being seperated.

Thanks again, and God Bless

She may be hostile, you have to be prepared for that. Then you just say 'I'm sorry I bothered you" and hang up. No harm done. However, she may be grateful. I would be grateful if I were in her shoes.

You can call someone and disguise your # by dialing #69, I THINK! If someone could verify that, I would appreciate it, but there are ways to call without your # appearing on their ID.